Stephen Hawking
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Warning!: Stephen Hawking is re-examining his priorities and drawing new conclusions |
Stephen Hawking is the world's most famous bionic cripple scientist. He is a theoretical physicist and Computer Science III Computer Science XVII graduate with an unfortunate disorder that makes him talk like an old Mac. He's a lot like a modern-day Galileo, if you happened to leave Galileo in the microwave too long. Coincidentally, Hawking was born exactly 300 years after the death of Galileo. The comparisons end there however, as Galileo was able to brush his own teeth.
Stephen Hawking is the only known retard to have contributed to society by writing a book that no one wants to read. Often when you explain to bleeding heart liberals that all retards and cripples should be left by the side of a mountain to die ala Spartan times they bring up the fact that Stephen Hawking is all up in their shit and he's awesome. Even though nobody knows what that robot voice is talking about.
Bullshit aside, he's basically the smartest motherfucker in the world, so pay attention and you might learn something.
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[edit] God hates Steven...
Professor Hawking contracted Motorneurone disease after a disatorous attempt to divide by zero, using a Speak n Spell machine. Some say that he actually suceeded, and in that instant, all the secrets of the universe were revealed to him in a blinding light. Steven's body could no longer cope with all that information, and chose to shut itself down, in order to save energy for his precious brain.
[edit] ...so does his wife.
Sometime last thursday, the windowlicking genius was taken to hospital with unexplained injuries, including a broken wrist, gashes to the face and a cut lip (meth addict?). His nurse claimed that is was the doing of his second wife. In any case this proves 2 things, a) that the boy knows how to party, and 2) that if Steven can get pussy (at least twice), then so can YOU!
[edit] Really sick?
It has been speculated that Prof. Hawking is just lazy, and enjoys having his arse wiped by a nurse. He is the smrtest guy in the world afterall, and who can blame him?
[edit] Hawking Sex Tape
[edit] Contributions
[edit] Gallery
 Ah-Hah, I should have known! |
 bitches don't know bout my quantum particles |
 now you can play as your hero, steven hawking. |
 Even in 0 gravity he still can't get the apple. |
[edit] See also
- Theoretical physics
- his masterful hiphop stylings
- My Immortal, with the movie starring his children.
Categories: People | Crap
