Special Education
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Special Education (officially known as the retard class) is a way for retards to get a lighter version of education that normal people usually receive when they're in school. Compared to the latter, special education is like school, but dumbed down for the retarded.
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[edit] How it's done
Say you're in 12th grade and that retarded friend of yours is in 12th grade as well, except that he has the education of a 7th grader. Special education limits what retards learn in order to keep them from knowing too much. They are also kept separate from other normies since their teachers fear awkward behaviors involving saliva and even the possibility of feces. Such is the case in real life, since they are socially and mentally unfit for society. Special education classes usually take place in a single classroom, where it's the teacher, their assistant and a whole gaggle of drooling and babbling idiots. Autistics and Autistic wannabes are thrown into the mix just to be safe, since they can be just as dangerous...wait, MOAR dangerous than the average downie because of their supposed intelligence. They learn at a much slower rate than the average student because their feeble minds are too small to comprehend the true purpose of their lives, and are purposely kept out of the public eye to avoid needless drama, which comes at a price for those who only want to stare and laugh.
[edit] Out of the hugbox and into the hall
Retards in Special Ed. seldom leave their classroom and are segregated from the normal kids during school assemblies and lunch periods because of their threat to the cool kids. Usually, they're away from the likes of jocks and scenesters and are in their own little groups along with their ever-so vigilant supervisors, babbling away and slobbering all over the table. Even nerds and emo kids would seem cooler than retards.
[edit] Why Special Education?
About 100 years ago people used to pay to see retards in their natural environment so they could thank God he didn't make them like that. Unfortunately for today, they are allowed in schools so the mundanes can learn how to deal with wild retards from an early age. Nao, children can learn to deal with retards in the playground and if things get out of hand, the drooling beasts can be dragged back to their cages before they damage something more valuable than them - such as a normal student, flowers or the class hamster.
[edit] The future
After Special Education students graduate from high school, they often live on Social Security from the government as compensation for being born as a fucktard (and to keep them off the streets as well.) Otherwise, they'd stay at home in their parent's basement until they're 42 (unless they die of AIDS before they turn 20). Rarely do these retards ever get a chance to work or even scarcer hold down a job because of their socially awkward tendencies and limited knowledge. You'll never see them in public and unless one retard wants to make a career publishing crap that no one will ever read and become wildly famous, more power to them.
[edit] After graduation
Here's a few jobs that retards have been known to work post graduation.
- Writing shitty books about furries dry-humping each other.
- Having no friends to hang out with.
- Becoming a furry.
- Obsessing over old cartoon shows that nobody cares about.
- Becoming an editor on Unfunnypedia.
- Dying alone.
- Becoming an hero.
- Eating their own feces and drooling and flailing their limbs about.
- Becoming a Wikipedia editor.
- Spending all their welfare money on stimulants and children's toys.
- Becoming president of the United States
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