Sorry

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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Republican embezzler 'Duke' Cunningham, in a rare public "I'm sorry." His tears were more for the anticipated 8 years of prison buttsecks he was in for than actual remorse.

Not to be confused with trolls remorse, sorry is the last refuge of an IRL troll when bribery is no longer an option.

Sorry in this context should never be confused with actual sorrow nor is it an actual heartfelt apology, but is usually a last-ditch attempt by the troll to save his or her job -especially when the troll involved blacks and Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are calling for your head.

The Six Stages of "Sorry"

This form of 'apology' is usually accompanied by:

An immediate hyperbolic press release spewing remorse issued through a PR person.
An appearance on The Larry King show.
Turning your life over to God.
Entering rehab of some sort (from Alcoholics Anonymous to Anger Management).
Meeting with the offended group in question.
Suicide secondary to crippling guilt.
????
PROFIT!

It is extremely rare, however, for the offender to get beyond Stage 2.

Saying Sorry on the Internet

How to express your remorse on the interbutts.

Given that the internet has made IRL contact redundant, much to the pleasure of all basement dwelling virgins who sit on their computers 24/7, new methods of apology have evolved.

Since no serious ED user has ever been observed apologizing for anything, completing this section is currently beyond our pay grade.