Slowpoke
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
A slowpoke is another Pokemon inspired meme which occurs, usually on purpose, when someone just discovers an important event long after it has occurred. For example, "What is this Holocaust thingy everyone's talking about? I wish to participate"
The formula for a Slowpoke meme goes something like this and if pulled off correctly can ensure epic lulz:
Old hard hitting event + Surprised post containing stance on event and the OP picture containing a slowpoke = Lulz.
[edit] Slowpoke's Death
On November 17, 2007 Slowpoke died.
Despite the efforts of many /b/tards to try and save him it was to no avail. The cause of death was originally thought to be murder, the prime suspect being Epic Fail Guy but was eventually assumed that Slowpoke was in someway an unfortunate casualty of the The Cancer That Is Killing /b/.
Rest assured Anon everywhere were stricken with grief at the loss of our beloved Slowpoke.
RIP Slowpoke
1995 - 2007
"He won't leave our hearts any time soon..."
Here lies /b/'s greatest hero
| —Anonymous |
[edit] Will He Return?
There are still rumors circulating as to whether Slowpoke was confirmed dead or alive. Reports are conflicting and it has yet to be seen whether or not Slowpoke will return or if he is gone forever. His return is unfortunately unlikely, but there is always hope.
There are also rumors about /b/'s supposed plans to revive Slowpoke. Currently there are claims of a crack team of /b/tards working on a way to bring Slowpoke back from the dead. Some believe the only possible way of reviving doing this at the moment is by dividing by zero. The risks are quite great, and anon is searching for other ways as we speak. 4chan's best and brightest minds are rumored to be contributing to the project. Only the future can tell the result of this promising project...
THIS JUST IN: /b/ has determined that Slowpoke is probably not dead, and may have simply went missing. In the meantime they've created a Slowpoke clone by abducting some poor woman and using artificially created semen to have her give birth to SLOWPOKEMAN.
THIS JUST IN: As of 04/03/08(Thu)12:18:28 it has been discovered that Slowpoke is alive, the 4chan faggot moot was responsible for Slowpokes disappearance and attempted murder.
THIS JUST IN: As of several months ago, a team of spcial scientists were gathered at the belived deathsite of our beloved pink friend, in secret, they built, using the skin cells of the original Slowpoke, a bionic clone, Robopoke, who has been around for a long time now, due to lack of recognition however, he used his artificial intelligence to tell us that either he gets recognition by being included on this article, or he destroys galaxy. Image:"http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb20/GroomingSpyke/Slowpoke10.jpg"
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Categories: People | Stub | Memes | 4chan
