So cash
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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The "shit was SO cash" copypasta appeared on 4chan's /b/ sometime in mid-to-late 2007, as a picture of a typical Guido fuck with his girlfriend mocking nerdy basement-dwellers. Said guido was Paulie Carbone, a young man whose early death was mourned by relatives with heartfelt internet videos. Like gay bees to semen-flavored honey, the denizens of 4chan gobbled up this salty load of copypasta with smiles on their faces, and it spread like AIDS in a closed pool.
At first this forced meme was seen as a typical example of the cancer that is killing /b/; a typical piece of unfunny copypasta like any other. However as the original text was spammed relentlessly, chemo was performed on it, and many lulzy variations were created of the original load of copypasta, complete with an image and the variant text, making it notable for being one of the few memes to go from fail to a level of win. John, the protagonist of the original copypasta, is also dead IRL.
The failed meme has been briefly revived in the current SOHH projects. Typical use of the meme now involves the spelling "SOHH CASH". This is to reference the numerous niggers on the SOHH.com forums who foolishly and blatantly challenged 4chan/ /b/ /Anonymous to an internet death match.
It may be interesting to note that it is currently under debate as to whether John's original copypasta was not the successful efforts of a troll who happened upon said "Paul Carbone" memorial page on MySpace. This is largely due to the fact that the death date of Mr. Cash and the birth-date of the delicious copypasta appear to cross each other in the gray area.
The Original Cash
Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It's me and my bitch
The Return
RON PAUL. THE REAL FUCKEN JOHN IS HERE.
I am sick of you FUCKING BITCHES calling my house every night at 3am asking for "BATTLETOADS" and sayin' the STUPID FRESH PRINCE THING. The thing is, I really do hate you fat losers who have to make up stupid lies in order to feel good about themselves, you’re all right about that. Why don’t you just try washing your face and changing your flannel shirt once in awhile and maybe you wont keep getting your IRL ass kicked by guys like me and bean called “faggot” by girls like this (my bitch).
So fuck you all for putting words in my mouth, I know I’m not perfect yet, but I’m on my way. Go back to watching star trek and playing Mario or some stupid shit, I’ll be at the beach getting HIT ON by chicks that you couldn’t even imagine let alone meet in real life.
Stop posting my picture.
- John
Apology
Last Thursday John came to his senses and apologized to all /b/tards:
Hey Guys,
You probably remember my name is John, and I want to apologize to every single one of you. I'm pretty sure most of you arent fat and are probably cleverer than I said, and if you guys want to look at pictures and stuff, then that's cool, everyone has a different life. The world is here to be shared, and I'm happy to share it with you guys. Most of you have probably got pussy before, anyway... I had a look around and there was a picture of a bitch being plowed by a guy with "RON PAUL /b/" written on his dick. I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people... I do it myself, but not as well as you guys. I actually met my bitch through facebook, so I guess we're all a bit nerdy sometimes.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I deserve it after what I was like. I resigned from the football team and took up chess, and quit basketball when I realised the only people playing were niggers anyway. I also tried jacking off to an anime girl, which actually isn't all that bad. I only got straight A's because my mom fucked the principal, and my hot girlfriend is actually just a blow-up doll (She just popped; Shit was SO shit). You are all just reasonable people who should disregard what I said to you, don't become "an heroes" LOL (am I a newfag or what?). Thanks for listening, no hard feelings, right?
Pic Related: It's me and my blow-up bitch. We're both really, really sorry
Copypasta Fail
Jenna speaks out (anti-pasta)
Hey guys,
My name is Jenna, and I'm asking every single one of you to help me. My boyfriend is this skinny, greasy-haired guido who spends every second of his day looking at his stupid ass hair. He is everything bad with today's youth. Honestly, do all men brag about having fucked their "bitches" last night? I mean, I guess it's because of peer pressure and trying to be accepted, but he takes it to a whole new level. This is even worse than drinking beer all day and listening to Heavy Metal.
Don't ignore me. Please, help me. I'm pretty much desperate. I was a regular at the literature club, and vice-president of the science club. I also had a thing for classical music? I used to get straight A's, that is, before I met him (He just made me blow him; Shit was SO gross). He's a faggot, and I want to kill him. Please help me!
Pic Related: It's me.
Metallica/Megadeth Dave Mustaine Version
Hey Metallica faggots,
My name is Dave Mustaine, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are dumb, musically uneducated, no-lifes who spend every second of their day listening to stupid ass Metallica songs. You are everything bad in the music world. Honestly, have any of you ever listened to Rust in Peace? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of Marty Friedman because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than enjoying a solo by Kirk Hammet.
Don't be a fanboy. Just hit me with your best song. I'm pretty much perfect. I was lead guitarist of Metallica, and frontman of my own band. What music do you play, other than "St. Anger"? I also get straight platinum records, and have a banging hot wife (She just blew me; Shit was SO metal). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It's me and that faggot James Shitfield.
Drops His Bitch
Hey faggots. Its the real JOHN - well for real my name is Joey, it seems like youre even too retarded to see the difference.
It seems like you keep reposting my image the whole time, you're even editing my text and photo. Do you think I care? Youre just miserable - it's just like I said. By doing this you try to hide your own problems. Fuckin HUGE problems
Well, my life keeps getting better and better. I just dropped my bitch: shes just a whore who slept with my best friend (well, I still wouldnt kick her out of bed for eating crackers). Also I keep BIG PIMPIN, just got a new fuckin spendy car (a porsche) and changed my style - calling it BLUE STEEL. And you? I guess the best thing you did in the last month was masturbatin to some drawn animal sex or sick shit like that; well Ill meet two girls tonight and plan to get off with both of them.
So, do the world a favor and kill yourself before youll rape a person for real. You make me sick.
Pic related: its me and my car
John & His Nigger
You think your funny? Real funny faggots. you think this is a joke?
yea making fun of me is so funny, so funny i forgot to laugh. I'm tired of getting dogged on by you faggots all the time whenever i respond to anything or any thread. If you wanna talk like that to me why don't you come here and say it to me face so i can answer your insults with a swift fist to the nose. yea you have a lot to say from hundreds of miles away but i bet if my fists were in reach of your face you would be like a tv on mute with no volume button So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut unless you want to die. Next time you think about saying something like that to me I want you to remember one thing. I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type this.Don't want anymore problems....didn't think so faggots. You have any idea what gorilla warfare is.? I do, I was in the US Marine Core and I perfected it. I'm fully capable of using it on you motherfuckers. Do you know the dander your in if I find you? I am 100$ serious. Bunch of god damn newfaf loser here and I will not have it. At least I've had sex, had girlfriends, and gotten laid, and blowjobbed unlike you virgin pieces of unpatriotic SHIT. Pic related: I'm on the african american on the right. Don't fuck w/ me.
Jack
Last Thursday Jack appeared and did something similar to John, but he is much nicer:
Hey dudes,
My name is Jack, and I like every single one of you. All of you are cool, witty, funny guys who spend your free time of their day looking at funny pictures and macros. You are the sense of humor that lacks in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any hate mail? I mean, I’m sure it’s fun making fun of people because you are so witty, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even more awesome than stand up comedy.
Don’t be a stranger. Just laugh with me too. I’m pretty cool. I was editor of my school newspaper and started my own detective agency. What funny activities do you do, other than “having fun to awesome drawn Japanese anime”? I also live with my mother and have a modest friend who is a girl. (She just taught me calculus; Stuff was SO complicated) You are all awesome who should gather at a big party. Thank you for listening to me.
Pic Related: It’s me and my female friend.
John's death was SO crash
"John" is actually Paulie Carbone, who died July 10th 2007 in a fucking idiotic street racing accident where he and his idiot friend sprayed their combined 2 oz. of brains over the pavement of mountainside street in Jersey. Since his death was SO cash, his friends and family immediately created several shitty videos on YouTube with shitty songs (which got owned by copyright) NOT ANYMORE, VIDEO ALIVE AGAIN (NOT LIKE JOHN LOLOLOL). Because you don't fucking mourn by posting vids on YouTube visible for everyone, Anonymous, as the good-hearted person he is, offered the Carbones his condolences (video has been removed) at the comments page resulting in Paulie's mom getting a heavy period and going crazy in the comments herself.
| —mariaNpaulie, making a very loud point. |
SO Crash
Hey mourners,
His name was John, and he was loved by every single one of you. He thought dearly of you Anonymous, spending every second to try and steer you away from what he thought were bad life choices. He thought what he was doing was everything right in the world. Honestly, he was so deeply rooted in his beliefs. I mean, now that he's gone, so are his insecurities, and at least his soul is at a whole new level. To his family, his loss is the worst thing that could happen. Please, mourners of /b/, don't be a stranger. Speak up about your favorite memories with John. He is now in perfection, looking down on all. He was captain of the football team, and starter on his basketball team. He knew he was faster and tougher than a lot of people, and wasn't afraid to say it. He got straight A's, and had a beautiful girl at his side (he was going to propose next week, shit would have been so cash). You are all welcome to mourn at his casket. Thanks for listening. Pic Related: This is John in Australia; where the passanger seat is on the left, and the cars are down under.
In memory, John. You will be missed.
- as a side note, brake cutting was added to anons list of mighty powers.
Rage From John's surprise secret gay lover
You think you are all fucking funny, don't you? Don't answer that, dickwads, I was being rhetorical. You are all super hot dudes with even hotter womens.
I've seen the "John" thread, and it's fucking hilarious. John is dead. What's wrong? He was a guido douchebag trying to fight the internets. It's not so funny now, is it? How about this for a 'LOL': I'm coming to kick each and every one of your asses. Yeah, go change your underwear, pussies. I know people who are hacking experts; they will get every single IP logged on this pathetic site. You are in for hot buttsecks, degenerates. I'll fuck your ass when you least expect it. I know you are all awesome; but don't expect me to show mercy.
Image shows me on the left; just a head start in case you need a blowjob.
We apologize for how unfunny the above edited copypasta is. We are working on making it funnier.
BONUS: Guido images
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 No matter how good looking or outgoing, this is the ultimate destiny of every guido cunt. |
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 Current fail memorial of Paulie "Cash-Man" Carbone as of July 3 2009 |
Translations
Variations
See Also
External Links are SO fucking Cash
- Said shitty vid
- Another shitty vid
Analysis of shitty videoBALEETED- A much more proper RIP video for
guidoPaulie - Doin it wrong
- His mom's account on youtube
- A memorial MySpace
- A memorial Facebook
- MariaNpaulie - The Girlfriend's Youtube.
- Shit was SO cash on Urban Dictionary.
 to this topic for græt justice.
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