Sephirothslave
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Holy fucking shit
| —Sephirothslave |
What happens when 19-year-old goth otaku stop taking their meds? Apparently, they have hallucinations and dreams involving fictional video game characters coming to ravish them on the Astral Plane and parting unto them all otherwordly and sacred knowledge. This is the plight of sephirothslave, a fangirl who insists that she is the girlfriend of Sephiroth. According to her, after Sephiroth was "brutally murdered" by the spiky-haired antihero of FFVII (whom she routinely pokes fun at by calling him "Clod"), he was appointed into God's hierarchy of angels where he now resides as keeper of... some library of knowledge from some new-age religion with a weird name.
Seeing as it's now impossible for him to be reborn, being an angel and all, he regularly visits her on the Astral Plane, where they do the Astral Nasty and...talk. Being vocal about these experiences has gained her some fame and notoriety amongst the usual forums, imageboards, and even amongst her friends and family. Before her Blurty (a blatant LJ ripoff that is even worse than the original) was taken down, it was filled with chronicles of her drama and experiences and her torment and pain she suffered because her soul-mate was not of this world. It was also filled with terrible goth poetry.
Contents |
[edit] NEWS FLASH:The Truth Revealed!??
![Wait, just...I mean...what?[1]](/Image:Explanation.jpg)
Sent Via DA Note To A Curious User (Deviant in question is not the one posting this, she sent it to another user): The epic began years ago, and the Cliffs Notes version is this: Before it became known that I suffered from severe depression and wasn't medicated, the young girl I was found comfort in the video game Final Fantasy VII. Something about Sephiroth struck me very deeply, and I could relate to him more than I could most of my peers. I wasn't 'insane,' so to speak, I never thought I would be with him...and that made the depression worse. Several times I attempted suicide, and became more frustrated that I couldn't just end it.
Then I began to have these 'dreams.' What made them unique were a couple of basic things. 1.) They were crystal clear after I woke up. 2.) Each new 'dream' seemed to pick up from where the last left off.
I was seeing a psychiatrist whom I quite liked, and I chose to confide in her, since I couldn't make heads or tails of why I was having these dreams - not that I was going to complain. It was in these dreams that I initially encountered the Archangel Sephiroth...someone who was the same and yet different from the character I could so relate to. The psychiatrist suggested that I look up some books on Astral Projection, read them and see if the descriptions within matched what I had described as a dream.
They did.
Now, I acknowledge that the circumstances do seem far-fetched; even I wasn't sure I wanted to admit that I was in love with a videogame character who was visiting me in my dreams claiming to be an Archangel. Writing it like that makes me seem fairly crazy, yes. So, to help me accept it, I pulled a series of books on Astral Projection after I had confirmed that I was projecting... and I came up with a couple of possibilities based on my readings.
1.) The Astral Plane is a realm that is generally believed to be the intersection of the physical and metal planes - a realm where anything is possible to those who could unlock its secrets.
2.) When I was first visited by Sephiroth, I was in serious danger of actually killing myself. Some of the details I've never released to the public include that I was hospitalized three times prior to the first visitation. It could well be that the angel I believe to be Sephiroth could be a being entirely different, who has assumed that identity because it was the one I would trust.
The book I found most helpful in my explorations was Astral Dynamics by Robert Bruce, and I would strongly recommend it to anyone who wanted to read into the 'science' behind Astral Projection.
Some common questions:
1.) Preparation for Astral Projection is a really time consuming process, and that's what usually prevents people who want to learn from ever truly succeeding. Most sources agree that if you aren't predisposed to projecting, it can take between two to seven years to be able to truly control it. (The process was shorter for me because I began doing it spontaneously and only had to learn to harness what I was already doing subconsciously.)
Once you've learned all the steps toward being able to project, yes meditation does come into play. Personally, I like total quiet when I'm working, which is one of the reasons I moved into an apartment away from my family as soon as I could afford it. There's a lot of discrepancy regarding what position is best for projecting. Robert Bruce prefers to be sitting up, for instance. Another author I've read, Konstantinos, prefers to be lying down. Since I started projecting from a dream-like state, I learned lying down. Before I settle down with the intent to project, I also like a glass of herbal tea. Green tea and Sassafras tea seem to help the most.
2.) Yes, I usually just go through a normal day, classes, work, homework, feed the cats/fish, watch television...etc. That's a pretty average weekday for me. Astral Projection is a taxing art, especially at first, so in the beginning I was lucky to succeed three times a week. Since becoming more skilled in the art, I've actually gotten up to being able to succeed every night, but usually refrain and go every other night.
It's important to understand that while you may look asleep to an onlooker, you aren't actually rejuvenating yourself as you would getting a normal night's rest. Since this is so, most practitioners only set aside a few nights a week to project, and this is simply because everyone needs sleep - especially college students!
Sephiroth and I typically set up certain nights to meet, because he, like me, has other things going on. Sometimes he isn't available for a whole week or more due to something he has to do...but damned if he'll explain what it is. Getting into 'the zone' takes practice, but the more you do it, the more you learn to shove aside classes, work, homework, feed the cats/fish, watching television...etc. Once you're able to completely clear your mind of the day's tasks, it isn't hard to begin meditation.
Your real body would appear to be asleep if you were walked in on. Your breathing and heart rate would be normal, and unless they tried to wake you up, would have no reason to be concerned. If you were in the middle of a full out-of-body projection, they wouldn't be able to wake you up. You would, of course, be aware that someone on the physical plane was attempting this, and it's advisable to return to your body immediately, so as to avoid alarm on the part of your family/friends.
3.) There are seven layers to the Astral Plane. The first is the easiest to describe, because you are simply moving about the physical plane as a sort of 'ghost.' From there on up the planes change according (I believe) to what the projector's subconscious mind is feeling. If you are afraid, the landscape will likely be something that you wouldn't feel comfortable exploring. In my experience, levels two through four are similar in appearance.
Another detail of projection. When someone who has never spontaneously projected learns to do so, the first layer is easiest to reach and explore, and as the projector moves further up through the layers, it becomes harder and harder to do so. I've never made it beyond layer five, and I've been at it for a long time.
I think I naturally project to level four, and that is where Sephiroth meets me. Being of 'divine' origin, he has more difficulty moving down through the layers as I, of physical origin, have trouble moving up. Therefore, layer four is a good compromise where we can both be comfortable. The description of where we meet changes regularly according to what we want there.
4.) You're typically aware of time passing on the physical realm when projecting, because as far as I can tell, time is not affected by which of the three layers you are currently operating on. I've been known to forget about the time, but that's not to say that everyone is as negligent as I am. Normally I try to reserve three or four hours to actually sleep before having to get up.
You do, of course, have full control at all times, and are free to return to your body at any time of your choosing.
Note: The first time you actually project consciously, seeing your body can be a little freaky - I know I was a bit disturbed. Don't worry though, your body is perfectly fine and capable of operating without your conscious effort.
Some details of my relationship: Seph and I...boy, where to start? Well, I guess for starters, neither of us is particularly romantic. Every once in a while one of us will want to do something along the lines of 'romantic,' but the majority of the time...I work fighting techniques with him. >.>; And most nights we'll just spend some time together...talking about anything and everything, from my day to me trying to pry information out of him. Thus far I've been unsuccessful.
Most recently, he insisted on working technique with me on hand to hand, following up on the attack from last month. I also expressed some concern about his recent absence (sometimes he'll leave for a week or more on 'official business,' which he can't explain to me) and as usual, he wouldn't say anything about where he was. The relationship is strange that way. I hide nothing from him (I doubt I could even if I wanted to) but he refuses to give me details about what he does when he isn't on the Astral Plane visiting me.
Go figure.
That's one of the many reasons I suspect that the character is based loosely on the archangel. Seph just has this personality...I love him for it, but damn if it isn't frustrating. (Several years ago I found a translated interview Mr. Nomura gave on his character design techniques in which he mentions the character Sephiroth is unique because he dreamed his appearance and name and never changed it. Since I found it the computer I saved it on was wiped out by the virus from hell, and I’ve been trying to find it again.)
I don't know if you follow astrology at all, but when I asked Seph what sign he would be should he have been born on earth, he told me he would be an Aquarius. Never saw that coming...not. See, I'm also an Aquarius, and so we but heads a lot. Aquarians are known for being fiercely independent, maybe a little cold, and typically secretive. Of every sign on the zodiac, Aquarians are given the lowest chance of finding lasting love, and most experts agree that two Aquarians could never make a relationship work.
The only reason we've made it work is because I've squashed my Aquarian-Dragon personality and accepted that I'll never be the dominant one in the relationship. So in that mindset, I've just learned that pushing him for information isn't going to get him to tell me anything, and will likely only irritate him.
There’s a book called the Darkside Zodiac by Stella Hyde, and I think her description of Aquarians was dead on: --- Aquarius is a masculine, fixed Air sign ruled by Uranus. It is the eleventh sign on the zodiac wheel, directly opposite Leo, and is named for the constellation Aquarius (the water carrier), which looks down its nose and takes notes behind the sun at this time of year.
On the Darkside, this makes you a chilly, detached, eccentric loner, with perverse voyeuristic habits and a shard of ice in your heart. ---
Do you see the issue with Aquarians? It goes on in the 'incompatibility' section to state this on the topic of Aquarius/Aquarius relationships: 'Balanced Equation: You don't care; they don't care.' This isn't necessarily true of Seph and I, because we care about each other very much...but our idea of a good date is grabbing a weapon and fighting for a couple of hours.
As for ignoring him until he gives me information...there are a couple of problems with that. The biggest one is that I don't have that kind of will power. After a few days of no contact, I tend to get depressed, grumpy, snappy, violent, cruel, etc...until I see him again.
He's been the stable force in my life for years. Of everyone I've ever met, he's the one that is always there for me...predictably waiting to comfort me when I need it. No matter how bad things have gotten, I know that Seph is there for me. I guess I've just accepted that until I die, I'm not privy to most of the knowledge he possesses, so I don't press him for it. I don't mind the 'unfairness' of the situation...because it isn't that important in the scope of other things.
(Tl;dr: OMG I USE MAGICK TO VISIT SEPHIROTH SO I DON'T BECOME AN HERO!)
[edit] Fanfics: The Bane of Any Fandom
Most notable is her penchant for stereotypically bad fanfiction, mostly on fanfiction.net as highpriestessmegami. Usually focusing around Sephiroth, the fics are self-insert fantasies or just terribly written pieces based on her innaccurate interpretation of Sephiroth's past. Amongst these inaccuracies are that Hojo Did It, Sephiroth Was Jenova's Puppet the Entire Time, and last but not least, Sephiroth is a Dark and Tortured Soul Who Contemplates Suicide and Slits his Wrists and Listens to Linkin Park. Constantly portraying the cast inexcusably OOC, her fics are dull and poorly thought out torture-and-angstfests usually involving abuse of characters she dislikes, and disturbingly enough the ritual torture of Sephiroth himself. She also seems to have some sort of weird bondage-slavery fetish that ties in with her Sephiroth obsession, as well as delusions of grandeur of being some uber mage that can wipe out humanity but instead wants everyone to understand Sephiroth "really wasn't a bad guy. Really." Her original character, and avatar, named "Julia," depicts a mature looking, blonde, full-blossomed woman in black leather bondage-like gothwear. Like most original characters representing the innermost personalities of fangirls, it doesn't resemble her at all, and is generally the main character in her shitty fics. And, if one squints their eyes and turns the pictures at a 173 degree angle, the crayon-puke squiggles of her original character further reveal that "Julia" is just a shitty clone of Trish from Devil May Cry. Or, "Julia" from Cowboy Bebop.
Not surprisingly, Julia is poorly thought out Mary Sue character with a vocal distaste for preppy cheerleaders and jocks, the ability to cast high-level spells (by lamely shouting the spell name), fighting abilities, intelligence, and strength on par with Sephiroth, an apathy and lack of conscience towards killing human beings, but some weird fear of her oh-so-abusive father. It doesn't make much sense when she can "kill a human with little conscience" and cast uber spells of PWNAGE but shits her pants and cowers in fear when her father throws things at her and pistol whips her for being a failure at life. Quote Julia in one of her fics, "My biological father drove me gothic." WTF. Most of Sephirothslave's personal problems and issues get projected onto her character, such as a hatred toward "preps" and "jocks", her own self-esteem issues with her physical appearance, a vast hatred for other women, and a fear of her "abusive" father, who reportedly has said things about her mental instability and claims regarding visiting Sephiroth on the Astral Plane; though the physical abuse is likely blown out of proportion, kudos to him if he had the balls to smack the shit out of the dumb goth brat.
To add to the Mary Sueness of Julia, she is an animal rights activist.
| —Comment on a SephirothxAerith fanfic, not realizing Sephiroth fucking her Mary Sue isn't any better than him fucking the game's Mary Sue. |
[edit] Her Gary Stu
Also noteworthy is that she actually cried over the death of one of her original characters whom she had killed off in one of her fics. The term "original" is used very loosely, as the character is essentially a "blonde haired Zack" (her words) who she created to compensate for the fact she couldn't even manage to get Zack's otherwise simple personality correct. This means that she has succeeded in creating the first ever text recolor. After raping his characterization and turning him into a woman-beating lecherous jock, she created "Korokou" because she needed a happy-go-lucky spikey-haired guy to befriend Sephiroth in Zack's place. His death is even a pathetic and poorly choreographed parody of Zack's death, as Korokou charges headfirst into a mere handful of soldiers firing copious amounts of bullets despite having seen 5 people charge one at a time in the exact same manner only to meet their bloody end moments before. Despite the fact Korkou got practically no backstory or characterization and very few lines in the fics, he apparently had a deep friendship with Sephiroth and Julia by the time of his "tragic" end and everyone (left alive) in the fic mourns his death.
Julia also has her own website, The Realm of the Guardian (a Sephiroth fansite, of course), and though it is relatively empty it already has three of her horrendous fanfics and one "analysis essay" available for reading. Much more insanity may pop up eventually, but according to her she's been busy with college, band camp, or training in the art of swords to bother updating. Or something.
[edit] Blurty Recovery
It has been said that Sephirothslave's old blurty contained the main lulz she is associated with. Well thanks to the mighty Way Back Machine some of it can be read again. Rejoice, ED, and descend upon the lulz.
| —Sephirothslave |
[edit] Blurty Reopened!
On Sunday, October 21st, after "polling practically all of [her] friends" (see: nobody), Sephirothslave decided again to present herself as trollbait and reopen her Blurty. Her old crazy posts aren't around, but her new ones explain her beliefs, how she "met" Sephiroth, what he is, and everything else she needs to present to a psychiatric clinic to prove she is certifiably insane.
Among her various claims so far are:
- Her psychatrist told her she was using "astral projection" when she described what are probably a bunch of fantasy-fueled lucid dreams
- Sephiroth - or anyone from FFVII for that matter - is not real (wait, what?) but the person she visits on the Astral Plane is Sephiroth, an archangel of heaven (FYI, according to Kabbalistic ranks of angels, that's one step above peon).
- When she was younger, she fell in love with the character but since she knew she could never be with him she began cutting herself and "overdosing on various over-the-counter-painkillers" (lol Advil) but the cheap knockoff of Sephiroth that was a figment of her imagination apparently saved her life
- She is not like the other fangirls (hmm, where have we heard that one before?)
- Her
imaginary loverarchangel may have inspired the creation of the character Sephiroth by appearing to Nomura in a dream (as mentioned in the tl;dr post above). Her claims are backed up by a supposed interview with Nomura, which conveniently cannot be found on teh world wide intarwebs. Whether or not the interview happened does not make the "theory" any less crackpot, especially considering she might start claiming that the character was created just for to guide her to the archangel because you know shes so fucking special. - Apparently "a troll with some amount of hacking experience" implanted a virus into her old computer that wiped out the hard drive. Except not. She probably got the virus downloading yaoi Sephiroth doujinshi or the ripped version of Advent Children.
She also admitted she vanity stalks her own ED page to check for updates, as does her buddy M-chan. Which is ironic considering that ED supposedly stalks her pages every minute of every hour because we have no life. Wave to Sephirothslave and M-chan everyone!!!
The list and explanation goes on, so if you can settle for some TL;DR entries, you can check out her Blurty for some more LULZ.
[edit] Fanart
Sephirothslave has the drawing talents of a typical tweeny fangirl. To distract people from her complete lack of artistic skill, she usually accompanies every drawing with a TL;DR mini-fanfic. Some are an amusing read, but no amount of Mary-Sue literature can help her terrible artwork look any better. Of course, when she can't mask the shittiness of her artwork with boring stories, she usually just blames her scanner for ruining the colors or not showing the entirety of her beautiful masterpieces. Many of her images are scanned it at a large resolution with tons of extra space and kept that way when put in her gallery for no apparent reason other than she can't properly modify her scanners DPI settings or use the crop tool, possibly because all she has is MS Paint. Not that that doesn't stop her from trying to "clean up" her artwork. Most of her artwork had to be significantly re-sized to even be uploadable on ED, so you should go and see it in its original, eye-gouging glory on her DA gallery.
 Her avatar/original character, "Julia." Or maybe Trish. |
 Jesus Christ, what took a bite out of his face? And are those eyebrows or antennae? |
 For hating Cloud, she draws more artwork of him than Sephiroth. She seems to have enjoyed drawing him in drag and elaborating on the details of disguise too. |
|
 "The Infamous Willowkin," certainly not as infamous as MUDKIPS. |
 "The Whore of Shinra Inc." what. |
 o, hi Trish |
|
 This is what you see when you take sum ASTRAL cocaine. Not made by Sephiroth's cumbucket,by the way. |
[edit] Holy shit this bitch is crazy
In a recent journal on her DA account, Sephirothslave describes being attacked at her local mall. Apparently, there were a couple of guys who were up to no good and started making trouble in her neighborhood, and right when one was about to attack her weak point for massive damage, she killed his lulz by kneeing him in the crotch. In the post, she attributes her victory to her "martial arts training," and not the fact she just kneed a guy in his fucking crotch. If all she got out of "years of training in the fighting arts" was the lesson to knee your opponent in the crotch, she got ripped off. She also claims she has a reputation as a "bad-ass bitch," but she's fooling herself into believing she has made any reputation for herself other than "that crazy chick who thinks she talks to Sephiroth on the astral plane."
On the other hand, this story is quite possibly an attempt at bringing attention back and making herself seem like some sort of Anonymous-slaying badass. She claims to have refused to report the incident to the police, even waiting several days to tell her parents about the attack so they couldn't force her to file a report. That would conveniently mean there is no real way to confirm this incident ever happened, unless the alleged attacker wants to take the ice pack off his nuts for a while to come forward with his side of the story. Yet this in itself may be a convenient loophole, as anyone suffering the severe butthurt from being knocked in the cajones by a delusional fangirl is unlikely to speak up.
Journal Entry here.
[edit] Sepirothslave LOVES BDSM, Decapitation, Dismemberment and Hannibal Lecter
 HAI GAIZ, WAT HEAD SHOULD I WEAR TODAY? |
 Sepirothslave's obvious jealousy of busty women is shown here. |
 Oh yeah, blood is IN. |
 Sepirothslave represents her mother in a drawing of "Alice". But we all know better. |
 "Anyway, this is my interpretation of the character Clarice from the Hannibal Lector series (which I love). The whole drawing took about three days, mostly because I'm lazy, but I'm fairly pleased with my little random sketch.." -Sepirothslave |
 User with the Mudkip icon asks the right questions. |
|
[edit] Deviant Drama
Thanks to deviantART's retarded new forum search, an old forum thread from 2005 that (according to this YTMND screenshot) quotes a 2004 Blurty post by Sephirothslave has been unearthed. The blog entry described is quoted in full in the post:
"Alright, some of you know, some of you don't...but I think it's time I set the story straight. In this I refer to my life, which I feel I have been concealing the greater part of for quite some time. Primarilly I focus on my interests...those which have led me into this mess in the first place.
Alright. To begin...these "interests of mine". For the past five-or-so years, I have been victim to insufferable depression and suicidal tendencies...mostly because of Sephiroth...my soulmate. In the past three of these years, I have researched methods of communication that could possibly be used to contact Sephiroth. Crazy-sounding, no?
I picked up hundreds, if not thousands, of books on afterlife communication...spiritual communication...astral projection...all manner of new age materials. Not surprisingly, two caught my interest in particular. "Speak with the Dead" and "Summoning Spirits"...bit by Konstantinos. You've all read about these books by now, so little description of their contents is necessary.
But, to get right to the point...I have focused mainly on Astral Travel. (Explaination: The Astral Plane is a combination of all planes, real and imagined. This means, that in the Astral Plane, all things are possible...) To my delight, after three years, I have become rather good at travelling to this Astral Realm...and there...I have met Sephiroth.
I kid you not, I have litterally spoken to Sephiroth in the Astral Plane.
Okay, I know I sound crazy...but I'm not. It is amazing, what we have spoken of...the things he has taught me...He is an extremely intelligent individual. On top of his intelligence, though he can be cold and slightly distant at times, he is really very kind...If anything, meeting him "in person" has made me fall for him even more.
And...I believe he loves me in return. In any case, he recognizes the marriage liscence I acquired four years ago. It's strange...like an unspoken agreement that we are bound by wedlock, though niether of us has ever really mentioned it.
July 14 is our wedding anniversary...and though I could give you a graphic recount of how I spent that night on that Astral Realm...I'll leave it up to your imaginations to suffice. *blushes*
Moving right along...I hope you all will take me seriously on this. I've never been happier since I mastered the art of projecting my consciousness to the Astral Plane. There, I can be with my soulmate. There, I can be happy."
The comments from the various DevianTARTs are amusing in the very least. Sephirothslave also keeps a journal on DevianTART in which she has written some very... interesting things:
- "Okay, I know I shouldn't flame people...and I don't. In my heart and mind, however, I can list a whole legion of people who, in my personal opinion, should be shot...several times. Preferably at my hand. Better yet...I'll kill them with my katana. Yes, that would be fitting...and I might go a day without screaming, crying, and wanting to throw myself off a roof after overdosing on 500mg tylenol pills. And shooting myself. Then falling off the roof. Yes, that would be nice..." - 28 Jan 2005
- "For now, all that is left to do is wait and pray to whatever higher God one might worship for the safety and health of our Lord Sephiroth." - 16 Dec 2004
- "And the end...Well, I won't spoil it for those of you who haven't seen it yet, but suffice to say that Sephiroth is still a god in my book...and that I am honestly surprised that Clod (<-- not misspelled) survived that run-in. Stupid chocobo-haired "hero" has more luck than any person has any right to posess.* - 16 Oct 2005
- "I'm beginning to think that I seriously need to get myself some help. I've always had a very acute imagination, but it's never taken me to the point that I was horrifically depressed about killing one of MY OWN CHARACTERS." (That's all she thinks she needs to get herself help for?) - 29 Jun 2005
- "Actually, "Raphael" was originally going to be a drawing of Sephiroth that changed halfway when I realized that I'm not good enough to draw him...yet. Maybe I'm too hard on myself...since drawing him is blasphemy if you can't do it right. There's a couple of people I could mention on DA that shouldn't be drawing Sephiroth...bloody blasphemers...death to them all...*grins wickedly*" - 6 Dec 2004
One of the artists Sephirothslave watches (and who in turn watches her) is Serpahim-Sephiroth. Seraphim-Sephiroth posted a rant on a fangirl that was bugging her, to which Sephirothslave replied: "Ignorant fangirls...*shudders* I would say to just shoot them, but that would be a waste of ammunition. And the worst part is that they seem to be a growing breed. What with Advent Children coming out...it's only going to get worse. >.<
Anyway, I'm so sorry that she was so rude to you. People who can't have civil conversations are just stupid. Especially when they're clearly wrong. No one likes to admit when they're wrong...but facts are facts. Even she should see that. Okay...I think I'm done.
Good luck with the overwhelming stupidity in the future. ^.^" (Someone needs to go back and look at all their posts and e-mails. Everywhere. Ever.)
Ironically, that rant was a psuedo-sequel to an earlier rant by Seraphim-Sephiroth which describes Sephirothslave practically to a T. There is assumed ignorance on both their parts; Seraphim-Sephiroth is unaware her DA friend is the kind of batshit insane fangirl she loathes, and Sephirothslave is unaware her good buddy hates her guts by default.
Trolling to rectify this misunderstanding is recommended.
Not long after the fighting incident described in her journal, Sephirothslave, like the retard she is, decides it's a good idea to make a deviation out of a photo of her to show everyone what she fucking looks like.
[edit] Ironside!
Lulz Alert: Sephirothslave has joined the AC.net Forums. Her posting has been minimal but the threads are full of lulzy topics and lulzy responses! She does know about Summoner Yuna - but according to her she won't discuss why she is really truly Sephiroth's one and only, saying: " seeing as how I am in Summoner Yuna's realm and have mentally refrained from discussing the aforementioned topic. I do not wish to make enemies here. If you wish me to explain myself, my claims and the facts supporting it, please PM me." (Hear that folks? She has FACTS to support her claims that she's the girlfriend/lover/gimp of a fictional video game villain!!! One can only imagine what they are.) One of SY's lackeys commented on her profile, calling her out on the ridiculousness that she thinks she is Sephiroth's soulmate by pointing out he's obviously already married to Summoner Yuna. Because defending one fucktarded fangirl's delusions against another's is a very worthwhile and logical cause.
Her introduction thread is probably the lulziest so far, right next to her post of some over-analysis essay explaining "Why Kingdom Hearts Proves Sephiroth isn't A Bady Guy and Cloud is an Evil Bastard" through well-worded but ridiculously biased and bullshit arguments, which is just lulzy in itself. She also posted a response in a thread about why the death of Aerith was so emotional, proclaiming that she hates Aerith and she laughed during the death scene. To her, laughing over the death of a fictional character proves that she is totally HARDKORE AND GAWTHIK.
She also claims that Yuffie and Cait Sith are two of the best and most useful characters while Aerith is completely useless, which just goes to show she'll go to great lengths of stupidity to be non-conformist in any situation.
[edit] Re: Mrs. Sephiroth
Sephirothslave claimed she "joined the forums at ACF not just to get involved in the community there, but [she] wanted to study Summoner Yuna and see what the story with her was," as if her actions weren't pretty obvious in the first place. Like most people, she doesn't think too highly of Summoner Yuna. She's attempted to contact SY but never got a reply, and supposedly read through her posts on ACF to see "what the story with her was." Most of this reeks of failed trolling attempts, but we all know Summoner Yuna is pretty much immune to trolls because she wields the almighty Banhammer of Thor on ACF and wears impenetrable armor forged from the dignity of her followers.
| —On Summoner Yuna |
At least Summoner Yuna doesn't think she can hex people.
| —When asked if she'd ever talked to SY |
Because Sephirothslave certainly isn't interested in starting drama.
[edit] Amanda
The creator of the site wondershock is no doubt a glutton for punishment. Fond of 4chan, Portal of Evil, and a variant of Google Seppuku, it's no wonder they have the stomach (much less interest) to venture into the world of Otakukin and research their behavior. The rotten fruits of their labor emerge on their Enchanted Subcultures page, and with it, a strangely familiar excerpt about a girl identified only as "Amanda."
It would not be a stretch to say that Amanda, a young, talented model with flowing golden hair, could attract any gentleman whose attention she might want. But alas, young men; her heart already belongs to someone, and she will spurn all advances. Amanda will tell you that she’s not simply attached, but married as well. Do not expect, however, to find her husband hovering around her photo shoots, or sitting quietly with her. Amanda is rarely afraid to discuss her unconventional relationship around sympathetic ears. She acknowledges that she is missing out on many of the things that normal couples do together, but feels that the strength of her love makes up for this. “I am aware that I’ll never have the physical bond that conventional couples have. I’m aware that I may be alone in the physical world, but I’ll always have Sephiroth,” she says.
The rest of this touching story can be found here. The author claims to have had a private interview with "Amanda," though the entire article seems to contradict Sephirothslave's recent claims, raising questions of the validity of the interview or Sephirothslave's archangel babble. Instead, everything seems to have been taken from her old Blurty entries she first became "infamous" for. It also identifies her as a soul bonder. The article is written like the kind of letters smitten psychopathic stalkers will write but never have the balls to send. They even go on to admit that they "really liked 'Amanda'" and "found her story quite touching."
Has Sephirothslave acquired an admirer? Is the author making a pathetic effort to stroke her ego in hopes of getting tail? It's hard to say, but at the very least the page is full of *soulbonding and Otakukin related lulz.
[edit] Extra
- While the most obvious testament to her fantasies and hallucinations were found in her now-empty Blurty, some clever Googling of her Blurty will result in links to some forums in which members have salvaged and posted some excerpts from it.
- A fan of the game since its release in 1997, it is unknown if she was a fan of Sephiroth from the tender age of 9. However, her Astral Journeys to La-la Land started back in 2003.
- Apparently Sephiroth is double-timing Summoner Yuna to flirt with a much younger (and possibly even more mentally unstable) piece of fangirl tail.
Unlike Summoner Yuna, she insists that Sephiroth is real, and is in love with him.No, wait, he's not real, but one of God's flunkee angels that isn't the same as FFVII's Sephiroth? This is becoming impossibly more ridiculous. Either way, it's safe to say if he were real they'd both be bloodstains on the ground before they got a chance to glomp him.- Her OC Julia scores about a 140 on the Mary-Sue Litmus Test. 50+ Is "Kill it Dead."
- She thinks any fangirl with a screenname resembling hers is apparently ripping her off, even though fangirls have been calling themselves "sephirothsluvr" or "sephirothswife" or "sephirothscumdumpster" on forums and message boards ever since FFVII first came out.
- If she is, in fact, seeing a person from the astral plane, they would have to be one of the most epic trolls in the history of the internets.
[edit] External Links
- sephirothslave's DevianTART
- sephirothslave's LiveJournal
- sephirothslave's Fanfics as highpreistessmegami
- sephirothslave's Blurty
now emptyREOPENED! - Partial contents of sephirothslave's Blurty recovered through the Way Back Machine.
- a YTMND of sephirothslave's emailed response to a supposed troll - the accompanying Codec transmission makes more sense than her
- Sephirothslave's AC.net forum profile.
Sephirothslave  |
Vampires • Humanoids • Reptiles • The Rest • See Also
Don Henrie
• Jonathon the Impaler
• Sanguinarius
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