Science

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Science cannot explain how Moses parted the Red Sea.

Typical Scientist.

Scientists claim this "happened by accident."

The Bible is more reliable than any Science book.

Science is an anti-christian form of magic invented by Atheists to undermine the Bible with the ultimate goal of removing prayer from public schools and replacing Christmas with mandatory homosexual intercourse. Some claim that Science is a methodological and rigorous process that we can use to understand the Universe and our place in it. However it has been known for over 9,000 years that the Bible is the most accurate book written evar. Unlike faith, the scientific method yields results that cannot be verified through scripture and thus are completely false. For example, the Bible mentions nothing about The Theory of Relativity or The Atomic Model, yet atheistic Scientists are teaching such nonsense to our children in public schools right now.

Did you know Stalin thought Science was good? And genocide?

Scientific Method

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A scientific experiment.

Dr. Steel, a typical Scientist.

These are the following guidelines of the scientific method as proceeded:

Don't talk about the scientific method
DON'T talk about the scientific method
Check if a person has piercings that are placed on the right ear, then the person is most likely a homosexual and must gtfo
If anyone performing the method likes Ted Haggard, then proceed to step 1
Remember to face mekka when you pray
Think about Survival of the fittest
Divide by 0, it works
Look at your horoscope
Perform Self-fellatio
Evaluate
Hypothesize
Stone gingers
Worship Carl Satan

Branches of Science

The most effective counter-argument when dealing with conflicting data.

Natural Science

This is science done using only the purest natural ingredients. All ingredients must conform to rigorous standards developed and enforced by the Royal Institute of Natural Organic Science. Many scientists who practice natural science are hippies.

Some scientists like Richard Dawkins have tried to use natural science to try and get rid of religion after being raped by God when he was a kiddie. Sadly, when Atheists use science, stupid shit happens.

This does not stop him trying to be a pedophile.

Unnatural Science

This is the science of perverts and pedophiles, and includes the sub-discipline of computer science.

Unnatural Science uses alchemy to make gains in other branches of science, especially in Natural Science, trying to upset Natural Selection by infecting the minds of all the smart people making them contribute to idiocy.

Computer Science

Computer scientists study the physical and chemical properties of most common brands of personal computers in the most logical ways imaginable. This is achieved through finding the relative boiling points, freezing points, equilibrium levels, and molar concentrations of certain PC types and compounds.

Aperture Science

We Do What We Must Because We Can.

Also, WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (check out 4:26)

Scientology

The study of the interaction between Tom Cruise and Placenta. Also, the worship of the dollar bill. This science deals with kidnapping of people and the return of their corpse. It is also known to be The Athiest's secret religion, feeling empty without something to hold onto, such as greed and hatred but also need it in a very easy to get package for the low low price of 8 EASY PAYMENTS OF $1999.

Physics

Physics is a branch of science that deals with the study of origami and knot-tying. Physicists shit on every other belief system that requires you to believe in something that can't be seen. Ironically, they often resort to the same pedantry: using such dubious ideas as "dark matter", "dark energy", "strings", and "gravity" to try to create a universe that doesn't collapse back in on itself in the first five minutes of the film. However, quantum theory seems to be more accepted as the years plod on. Quantum theory, developed by a jew, is especially designed to be as unintelligible and complicated as possible, so that the peons may not learn the secrets of their university graduate overlords. A basic explanation of Quantum Theory is the Shroedinger's Cat example. A cat, locked in a box, may die, but you won't know until you look. Until then the cat is in a state of "quantum flux", I.E the cat is both alive AND dead, simultaneously. Of course, any scientist can tell you, that is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons even death may die. This means Quantum Theory may or may not be right. No, srsly.

OF course, of all the shitty ideas, religion seems to be able to work freely in conjunction with the most sound "theory". Since using Quantum Theory, you can easily say that all religions can be proven, and all Atheists suck cocks.

Genetic Engineering

Science in the old days got shit done a different way.

Genetic Engineering is an exciting renewed field created by Nazis due to the sad fact that liberals weren't nearly as afraid of the unspeakable machine-god known as "Science" as they ought to be. The primary output of Genetic Engineering is "Frankenfood" which keeps poor people from starving to death, thus keeping the hideous cancer known as humanity on blessed Mother Earth. Many furfags hope that genetic engineering will rid them of their basement-dwelling, fat, cancer-ridden bodies and restore them to their true form, but anybody with an I.Q. of 25 or above knows that this is about as likely as building a thetan-powered car.

There is also hope that one day Genetic Engineering will finally cure the tragic disease known as faggotry.

Science of Sleep

Founded by Whoopie Goldberg, Siegmund Freud, and the nigga pets, it is renowned for filling in the gap for the 2girls1cup postulate and forming a grand unification theory. The science of sleeps explains phenomena such as sleep walking, unrequited love, premature ejaculation, elementary particles, time dilation, schizophrenia, morning wood, and premature ejaculation.

Nuclear Physics

All toasters toas-OH SHI

Nuclear Physics, also invented by the Nazis, as a way of furthering their total eradication of gypsies, lessers, and the greedy. They never finished their research before ~~the Americunts~~ communists burned Berlin to the ground. The Americunts were butthurt over having everyone else do all the actual work, so with all their massive reserves of jew gold, and needing a new way of raping the fuck out of everyone else for not acknowledging that the US did all the work, told all the captured Nazi scientists they could work for the US for a six-figure salary and having everyone else 'forget' about their war crimes, or spend the next fifty years taking it in the ass. With the Nazimericans building the A-bomb, the Russians wanted in on the action and with similarly employed Nazi scientists began building their own nukes. This led to the Americunts pointing all their missiles at those communist satan-worshipping homosexuals, and the Russians pointing all their missiles at those capitalist christfag fat fucks, even though if it weren't for the Russians we'd all be speaking German and making a morning prayer to Zombie Cyborg Hitler. So can't we all just get along?

Nuclear Power is the result of common sense-driven, matter-of-course, straightforward, logical reasoning that an atomic explosion can be placed safely and harmlessly in the middle of a populated area. The idea is that the massive energy released when an atom is split can be used to generate electricity, which is then spread across a country. The benefits far outweigh the risks, apparently (ignoring the risk of it being sabotaged, attacked, or going wrong, and the 100,000 years or so it takes for radioactive fuel to degrade to a safe state—but that's all right, we can dump it in the ocean, LOL). But at least you get to watch the XFactor...

Science vs. Faith

Some argue that science has outweighed the need for faith in today's society, as we no longer have to rely on our once closely-held beliefs to progress forward. See the following chart:

This, of course, is ignoring the fact that if even one basic idea about the theory is wrong, such as the Big Bang, the scientist is forced to Narfle the Garthok in an attempt to redeem himself, or face massive amounts of trolling by all the other crazies.

Examples of Seminal Scientific, Totally Valid Papers

"Test-retest reliability of the measurement of penile dimensions in a sample of gay men." I would have altered the methodology were I in charge; I would have collected all of the measurements personally. Either way, it's tax monies well spent.

What scientists look at all day

Use scrollbar to see the full image

NOTE: This is what scientists look at all day.

The Gallery of Tomorrow!

How science is done in the real world.	The Science of Bras	What genetic engineering means for you.	The boringer side of science.
Science can be used to determine a person's true ethnicity.	A scientist hard at work.	FRINGE SCIENCE!!!!!!!	Science gives you good advice.