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Science

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For those obsessed with the Liberals that are destroying our Judaeo-Christian nation, Conservapedia has an article about Science.

Not Falsifiable

1 Science
- 1.1 Scientific Method
2 The Gallery of Tomorrow!
3 Branches of Science
4 Science vs. Fatwa Faith
5 Examples of Seminal Scientific, Totally Valid Papers
6 Typical Scientist "Heeuh!"
7 "Do Not" See Also
8 Sexy scientists online waiting to take your science questions

[edit] Science

An anti-Christian form of logic invented by Asspies to help better explain the world. Like most other Asspie pursuits (e.g., Fan Fiction and Wikipedia), it is completely unintelligible, uninteresting, mind-numbingly pedantic and chocked-full of low-grade drama. All of this explains perfectly why Tosh is a scientist. Along with being gay for science, Tosh is also gay with jbs.

Contrary to popular misconceptions fostered by the dominant institutional propaganda, Science is completely made-up; this is intentionally done to confuse it with Scientology which is not made-up.

[edit] Scientific Method

One fine morning in Ireland, Francis Bacon, Renee Descartes, and MC Hammer got wasted on premium horse piss, while Kratos and Juliana Wetmore were playing darts. Francis Bacon then vomited. The next day, Francis Bacon and Renee Descartes hatched a half bake plan, the famous words were, "If a body catch a body coming through a rye, then you might be a redneck" This astounding observation led to the development of the scientific method. The guidelines of the scientific method are as proceeded:

If a person's piercings are placed on the left ear, then the person is most likely a homosexual.
If you like buttsecks and Ted Haggard, then you might be a homosexual.
You must face mekka when you pray.
Bestiality is not a crime in the Socialist Theocracy of Jesusland
Survival of the fittest
Divide by 0, it works
Look at your horoscope
Perform Self-fellatio
Evaluate
Hypothesize
Stone gingers
And rule number 1 of scientific method, Don't talk about the scientific method
worship Carl Satan

[edit] The Gallery of Tomorrow!

How science is done in the real world.	The Science of Bras	The most effective counter-argument when dealing with conflicting data.	What genetic engineering means for you
A scientific experiment.	The boringer side of science.	All toasters toas-OH SHI	Science can be used to determine a person's true ethnicity
A scientist hard at work.	Science in the old days got shit done a different way.

[edit] Branches of Science

[edit] Natural Science

This is science done using only the purest natural ingredients. All ingredients must conform to rigorous standards developed and enforced by the Royal Institute of Natural Organic Science. Many scientists who practice natural science are hippies.

Some scientists like Richard Dawkins have tried to use natural science to try and get rid of religion after being raped by God when he was a kiddie. This does not stop him trying to be a paedophile.

[edit] Unnatural Science

This is the science of perverts and pedophiles, and includes the sub-discipline of computer science.

[edit] Computer Science

Computer scientists study the physical and chemical properties of most common brands of personal computers in the most logical ways imaginable. This is achieved through finding the relative boiling points, freezing points, equilibrium levels, and molar concentrations of certain PC types and compounds.

[edit] Aperture Science

We Do What We Must Because We Can

Also, WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (check out 4:26)

[edit] Weird Science

This is just weird. Noone knows what the point of it is.

It is also the name of a John Hughes movie from 1985 starring Anthony Michael Hall.

[edit] Scientology

The study of the interaction between Tom Cruise and Placenta. Also, the worship of the dollar bill. This science deals with kidnapping of people and the return of their corpse.

[edit] Physics

Physics is a branch of science that deals with the study of origami and knot-tying. Physicists call shenanigans on every other belief system that requires you to believe in something that can't be seen. Ironically, they often resort to the same pedantry: using such dubious ideas as "dark matter", "dark energy", "strings" and "gravity" to try to create a universe that doesn't collapse back in on itself in the first five minutes of the film.

[edit] Genetic Engineering

Genetic Engineering is an exciting new field created due to the sad fact that liberals weren't nearly as afraid of the unspeakable machine-god known as "Science" as they ought to be. The primary output of Genetic Engineering is "Frankenfood" which keeps poor people from starving to death, thus keeping the hideous cancer known as humanity on blessed Mother Earth. Many furfags hope that genetic engineering will rid them of their basement-dwelling, fat, cancer-ridden bodies and restore them to their true form, but anybody with an I.Q. of 75 or above knows that this is about as likely as building a thetan-powered car.

There is also hope that one day Genetic Engineering will finally cure the tragic disease faggotry.

[edit] Science of Sleep

Founded by Whoopie Goldberg, Siegmund Freud, and the nigga pets, it is renowned for filling in the gap for the 2girls1cup postulate and forming a grand unification theory. The science of sleeps explains phenomena such as sleep walking, unrequited love, premature ejaculation, elementary particles, time dilation, schizophrenia, morning wood, and premature ejaculation.

[edit] Nuclear Physics

Nuclear physics is a science devoted to making the President wee itself in excitement. Many nuclear scientists have lots of clever, but it's all spent on how to make the followers of Satan blow sky-high.

[edit] Science vs. Fatwa Faith

~~Some argue that science has outweighed the need for faith in today's society, as we no longer have to rely on our once closely-held beliefs to progress forward.~~ HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS. However, the following chart proves otherwise:

Is that clear? now we must kill the humans for they won't eat off their tummies.

[edit] Examples of Seminal Scientific, Totally Valid Papers

"Test-retest reliability of the measurement of penile dimensions in a sample of gay men." I would have altered the methodology were I in charge; I would have collected all of the measurements personally. Either way, it's tax monies well spent.