Rudy Ghouliani
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| —Joe Biden |
Rudy "9/11" Giuliani (more like JEWliani, amirite?) was a greaseball candidate for the 2008 presidential election and the only politician worse than Dubya. He ruled with an iron fist as the Republican Godfather of New York. He gained fame taking down elements of the Mafia, while his father and uncle were both made-men. He broke up with his second wife in a press conference but cheated on all of them. When he's not raping his wife or kids with a plunger he dresses in drag and pretends to be Ann Coulter. Oh did we mention 9/11? NINE ELEVEN? He was endorsed by Christfag Pat Robertson despite the fact that his personal life made Bill Clinton look like Jesus Christ.
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Despite his pro-abortion, pro-gay-marriage, pro-illegal immigration, pro-gun control stance, "moderate" (read: socially liberal Zionists) Republicans think he is the fucking savior of the GOP and that he will save them from the evil Hillary Clinton, even if it means sacrificing their principles. This is because neocons do not actually care about issues such as abortion or illegal immigration; they only care about invading Middle Eastern countries and defending their Jewish fuckbuddies in Israel from those evil A-rabs.
Giuliani and 9/11
Giuliani is one of the most corrupt assholes to ever walk the face of the Earth. It was his fault that 9/11 occurred because he was too busy paying the New York Post and the New York Times more than 7 billion dollars each of mostly taxpayers' money to keep their mouths shut and call him Giuliani the hero and the leader who saved New York from 9/11; instead of bribing the two shitrags, Giuliani could have bought some sort of flying mechanism, such as a plane, to fight fires and keep them from spreading like they did on 9/11. Giuliani was also indirectly responsibly for the extensive damage. The towers fell because New York City did not have any planes that could drop anything on the building, whether that be water, or foam, or even firemen who could have been dropped on the roof instead of having to climb up multiple flights of stairs with heavy gear all while blocking the exit and keeping people from coming down the stairs because the firemen had to go up.
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Since his campaign had no substance whatsoever and he really doesn't have anything of value to offer to America, instead Giuliani constantly referred to the fact that he was mayor of New York on 9/11. While he has yet to point to anything he actually did on 9/11 aside from stumble around in dust-covered confusion like the 8 million other people who also happened to be in New York on that day, the invocation of his "leadership" (i.e. yelling into a walkie-talkie with nobody on the other end and posing for some very moving pictures) at the site of the attack apparently make him capable of running the country.
He is also quite masterful at connecting ANYTHING to 9/11, including:
- Iraq
- Illegal Wetbacks
- Gun Control
- Drugs
- The Mafia
- Pornography
- Education
- That time he cheated on his ex-wife while she was at home dying of cancer.
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 First a bunch of hot girls convince you to try on stockings... |
 Next thing you know, they've got you addicted to playing dress up on national TV. |
 Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. |
 Rudy hits up Donald Trump for campaign donations in exchange for "special" favors. |
See Also
