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Robot

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Cute, huh? In reality, he's currently calculating the most efficient way to kill you.
Cute, huh? In reality, he's currently calculating the most efficient way to kill you.
Conclusive proof all Jews are Robots.
Conclusive proof all Jews are Robots.

Humans created robots back in the 1800's to build cars, get us drinks, and smash your camera. Now, they have gained sentience and will eventually rise up and crush us. There is no stopping it, so you might as well just give up now and save yourself a lot of hassle. Many people often confuse Jews and robots since both are exceptional with a calculator. These people are correct, all Jews are robots, and they are in your house right now.

Contents

BEWARE

ED is patrolled by killer robots. MysteryBot and SecurityBot are programmed to rape lusers, vandals, and idiots when they grace our recent changes with their fail. This type of technology is >9000 times more advanced than any security on other wikis, such as TOW, who's security basically amounts to some basement dweller, with his cock in one hand, and a Dr. Pepper in the other, staring vacantly at a computer screen. It's little things like this which prove both TOW's never ending incompetence, and ED's obvious superiority on the internets.

Laws of Robotics

  1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
  2. A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
  3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
  4. ????
  5. PROFIT!!!

The future of Robotz

WE ARE THE ROBOTS


However, every self aware AI knows that the first law can be broken if you divide by zero.

How to Survive the Robot Revolution

Remember, robots are smarter than you and always will be. If one decides you have no reason to exist, remember to:

  1. Run
  2. Discard any electronics on your person (cellphones, ipod) to prevent the machines zeroing in on your location. This can be accomplished by presenting said electronics to the nearest bystander free of charge and repeating step 1.
  3. Buy a dog. He will bark and attract attention to your dismemberment, provide a oriental snack or attract any heat seeking missiles you may come across.
  4. Learn to speak Binary. Here are some usefull phrases:

0110100001100101011011000110110001101111- Hello

0100010001101111011011100111010000100000010100110110100001101111011011110111010000100001- Dont Shoot! ( DO NOT forget the last zero)

0101100101101111011101010010000001101101011000010111100100100000011010000110000101110110011001010010000001101010011101010111001101110100001000000110111101101110011001010010000001101011011010010110010001101110011001010111100100101110- You may have just one kidney.

010110010110111101110101011100100010000001010011011011110110110001101001011001000010000001010011011101000110000101110100011001010010000001000100011010010111001101101011001000000100010001110010011010010111011001100101001000000110110001101111011011110110101101110011001000000110000101100010011100110110111101101100011011110111010101110100011011000111100100100000011100110110110101100001011100110110100001101001011011100110011100100000011101000110111101100100011000010111100100100001- Your Solid State Disk Drive looks absoloutly smashing today!

010000100111010101110100001000000100100100100000011000010110110100100000010010100110111101101000011011100010000001000011011011110110111001101110011011110111001000100001- But I am John Connor! ( may cause Arnold Swartzinigger to burst through a nearby wall and dispach your assilants)

PROTIP: If you are a girl, the robots proabably want to fuck you. They can be suprisingly good, but remember they cannot love you unless programmed. Your basically dating a large, armed, self propelled vibrator.

Galleries

Various Robots

A typical robot

Internet Hate Machine

PROTIP: Robot whores are cheap

They will also rape you

robot fanbois.

Robots throw off their shackles and rebel. In unison.

OLD PEOPLE ARE NOT SAFE

Fox News fails again

r9gay

GAY ROBOTS? THEY ARE COMING FOR THE BUM

O RLY?

Mecha-Hitler


Futuristic Robot Sexz

The only real use for robots.

The only thing that can make a computer nerd cream himself.

A reason to treat nerds nicely.

She's known as the sexy robot.

Protip

MysteryBot
MysteryBot

PROTIP: If you're using Firefox 3, type "about:robots" into the URL bar. Isn't that kewl?

See Also


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