Robot
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Android redirects here. You may be looking for Android, the Linux-dereived operating system made popular by Google.
Humans created robots back in the 1800's to build cars, get us drinks, and smash your camera. Now, they have gained sentience and will eventually rise up and crush us. There is no stopping it, so you might as well just give up now and save yourself a lot of hassle. Many people often confuse Jews and robots since both are exceptional with a calculator. These people are correct, all Jews are robots, and they are in your house right now.
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BEWARE
ED is patrolled by killer robots. MysteryBot and SecurityBot are programmed to rape lusers, vandals, and idiots when they grace our recent changes with their fail. This type of technology is >9000 times more advanced than any security on other wikis, such as TOW, who's security basically amounts to some basement dweller, with his cock in one hand, and a Dr. Pepper in the other, staring vacantly at a computer screen. It's little things like this which prove both TOW's never ending incompetence, and ED's obvious superiority on the internets.
Laws of Robotics
- A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
- A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
- A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
- ????
- PROFIT!!!
The future of Robotz
However, every self aware AI knows that the first law can be broken if you divide by zero.
How to Survive the Robot Revolution
Remember, robots are smarter than you and always will be. If one decides you have no reason to exist, remember to:
- Run
- Discard any electronics on your person (cellphones, ipod) to prevent the machines zeroing in on your location. This can be accomplished by presenting said electronics to the nearest bystander free of charge and repeating step 1.
- Buy a dog. He will bark and attract attention to your dismemberment, provide a oriental snack or attract any heat seeking missiles you may come across.
- Learn to speak Binary. Here are some usefull phrases:
0110100001100101011011000110110001101111- Hello
0100010001101111011011100111010000100000010100110110100001101111011011110111010000100001- Dont Shoot! ( DO NOT forget the last zero)
0101100101101111011101010010000001101101011000010111100100100000011010000110000101110110011001010010000001101010011101010111001101110100001000000110111101101110011001010010000001101011011010010110010001101110011001010111100100101110- You may have just one kidney.
010110010110111101110101011100100010000001010011011011110110110001101001011001000010000001010011011101000110000101110100011001010010000001000100011010010111001101101011001000000100010001110010011010010111011001100101001000000110110001101111011011110110101101110011001000000110000101100010011100110110111101101100011011110111010101110100011011000111100100100000011100110110110101100001011100110110100001101001011011100110011100100000011101000110111101100100011000010111100100100001- Your Solid State Disk Drive looks absoloutly smashing today!
010000100111010101110100001000000100100100100000011000010110110100100000010010100110111101101000011011100010000001000011011011110110111001101110011011110111001000100001- But I am John Connor! ( may cause Arnold Swartzinigger to burst through a nearby wall and dispach your assilants)
PROTIP: If you are a girl, the robots proabably want to fuck you. They can be suprisingly good, but remember they cannot love you unless programmed. Your basically dating a large, armed, self propelled vibrator.
Galleries
| Various Robots | ||||||||
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| Futuristic Robot Sexz | |||||||
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Protip
PROTIP: If you're using Firefox 3, type "about:robots" into the URL bar. Isn't that kewl?
See Also
- Bot
- MysteryBot
- My Life As A Teenage Robot
- SecurityBot
- Banbot
- ROBOT9000
- Mecha-Hitler
- Internet Hate Machine
- Bucket
