Republican

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Republicans (more like Republicunt, amirite?) are the AIDS that is killing America. They are self-proclaimed Jesusfags who crusade against gays, and are responsible for the war on drugs and the war on Iraq. The great majority of Republicans proudly reside in the flyover region of the United States known as Dumbfuckistan. They use an elephant as their symbol they say "because we want to, now get your fucking face out of our business!" but noone is buying this. Many believe they use it not only because they are elephant like in reality, with their natural tendency to never forget anything, but also because the most evil animal of all (you know which one I'm talking about) was already taken. Republicans are naturally hypocritical, and they will turn around any statement they said a week before. They have the natural ability to beguile any pundit to forget anything they said about black people, gays, beaners, their own policies they said they would never abandon, or anything else. Case and point? They are the worst thing ever.

Contents 1 History 2 Myspace Republicans 3 Trivia 4 List of gay Republicans 5 List of straight Republicans 6 Gallery of Republicunts 7 See Also 8 External Links

[edit] History

Founded by L.Ron Hubbard in the 6th Century B.C., the Republican Party, now associated with conservatism, was once the party of civil rights, freedom, and ferret-legging, but is now marked by syphilis, racism, oppression, room-temperature ranch dressing and pedophilia. The party's downfall occurred when their failed attempts at cloning Hitler resulted in the birth of Sonny Bono. Others believe it was due to the satanic rituals they performed to summon Richard Nixon onto the earth. However, the most likely explanation is that the party was gradually infiltrated and usurped by a reptilian race from another dimension. Regardless, Republicans now stand for everything their party used to pretend to hate.

Satan loves Republicans, and sends every one of them straight to his cock when they die. Yet, every time you vote Republican it makes Jesus smile. And who the hell wants that to happen?

Ronald Reagan is a prime example of a Republican. The child bride of the evil, alien overlord, Xenu, he was notorious for his empathy towards racists and fascists, and hatred for gays and other minorities. In fact, Reagan singlehandedly created AIDS by fucking his pet chimpanzee in a uranium mine.

In the year 2000, George W. Bush, was crowned Lizard Pope of the USA by Florida Secretary of State, Katherine Harris. All Republicans/Reptilians hate Muslims. That's why they tried to pin 9/11 on them through a huge government conspiracy. Then he started a war with Iraq because Saddam Hussein fucked his mom, Barbara Bush, way too hard back in the 60s and up the butt. Bush's ascension to the popish presidency proves that even a cocaine addicted drunk with the IQ of a monkey's left nut can become a U.S. president if his parents are rich enough. The funny thing is, is that he is a monkey. If you compared a monkey to George Bush, you would not be able to tell the difference.

The United States Republican Party is currently the largest source of evil in the world, and they eventually hope that by following their hero they can save all that is good and decent.

[edit] Myspace Republicans

Since MySpace is a place of liberals, there aren't that many Republicans at all. Therefore, they are the whiners of MySpace. They usually whine about how the liberals whine all the time. They also bitch about how liberals control MySpace and their freedom of speech.

Then, there is this unfunny black guy: Super Slave. Here, he blames atheists and agnostics for the increase of violence in the US: TL;DW Attack him if you wish, but be careful. He considers his views to be the best in the world. If you counter his points, he will attack you and block you on sight!

[edit] Trivia

• In North Carolina, it is illegal to be both gay and Republican.

• Abraham Lincoln was the Republican who pretended to care about black people. He claimed the civil war was to help black people, but he actually shipped most of the nigras to Africa and Central America for the lulz.

• Republicans and Hippies are natural opposites. Just like cats and dogs, or Furries and humans.

• Contrary to popular belief Republicans and Democrats are not opposites. The only real difference is, while Republicans are evil, Democrats are spineless politically correct douchebags.

• Elephants are big bullies threatened by mice.

• Republicans are big bullies threatened by mice

• The Republicans' new motto is: "God said it, therefore I must follow it!"

• Computer savvy people hate Republicans, because they are jealous of all the hot young ass they be gettin'. No, no, I'm kidding. They hate them because the alternative media tells them to.

[edit] List of gay Republicans

• Patrick McHenry
• Duke Otterland
• Sema JayHawk
• InSaNe-REYNARD
• Larry Craig
• Alberto Gonzales
• George Allen
• Ron Paul
• Ann Coulter
• Victoria4usa
• George W. Bush
• Ryan Bilodeau
• Son of Art
• Jar Jar Binks
• Joe Lieberman
• Mitt Romney
• Hitler
• Jason Aula
• Mark Foley
• Justgoto
• Hitler
• John L. Crow
• Billy Crystal
• Satan
• you
• Your mom
• Chris Cannon
• Mallard Fillmore
• Michelle Malkin
• Alan Greenspan
• Rudy Giuliani
• Xiao-Feng-Fury
• Santa
• Ashley Todd (she'd also go on a list of fat Republicans, amirite?)

[edit] List of straight Republicans

[edit] Gallery of Republicunts

All elephants, like all Republicans, eat their young.	Ann Coulter, dominatrix	Road map to Republicanism.	A favorite Republican past time.
Enough said	Typical republican	I CUNT SPEEL

[edit] See Also

• Tory
• Sick fuck
• Pedophile
• Japanese little boy porn that Mark Foley gets off to.
• Nazi

[edit] External Links

• GOP Official homepage
• jewish_gop
• _gopchristians_ - morality starts here
• Internet Republican.
• Dead Internet Republican
• Psycho Liberal With a Crushed Spine and Irrational Hatred of Republicans

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