Republican
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Republicans, also known as The Buzzkill Party, are the AIDS that is killing America. They are self-proclaimed Jesusfags who crusade against gays (while taking it in the butt), and are responsible for the war on drugs and the war in Iraq, two wars whose sole purpose is to waste billions of dollars. They stroke themselves to the idea of tax cuts and blindly elect lying criminals on the mere mention of a tax cut that will never come. The great majority of Republicans proudly reside in the flyover region of the United States known as Dumbfuckistan. They are racist (which is fine), but annoyingly deny their obvious racism. 90% of all registered Republicans have been or will become sex offenders. They are proud to live in a wasteland and can't understand why no one moves to their dumbfuck states. This is most likely because the average IQ of a modern day Republican is 32. They use an elephant as their symbol they say "because we want to, now get your fucking face out of our business!" but noone is buying this. Many believe they use it not only because they are elephant like in reality, with their natural tendency to never forget anything, but also because the most evil animal of all (you know which one I'm talking about) was already taken. Republicans are naturally hypocritical, and they will turn around any statement they said a week before. They have the natural ability to beguile any pundit to forget anything they said about black people, gays, beaners, their own policies they said they would never abandon, or anything else. Basically a Republican is that annoying jerkoff kid on the bus who would never shut up in elementary school. Fuck 'em.
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History
Founded by L.Ron Hubbard in the 6th Century B.C., the Republican Party, now associated with conservatism, was once the party of civil rights, freedom, and ferret-legging, but is now marked by syphilis, racism, oppression, room-temperature ranch dressing and pedophilia. The party's downfall occurred when their failed attempts at cloning Hitler resulted in the birth of Sonny Bono. Others believe it was due to the satanic rituals they performed to summon Richard Nixon onto the earth. However, the most likely explanation is that the party was gradually infiltrated and usurped by a reptilian race from another dimension. Some say that Raptor Jesus created them for the lulz. Regardless, Republicans now stand for everything .their party used to pretend to hate.
Satan loves Republicans, and sends every one of them straight to his cock when they die. Yet, every time you vote Republican it makes Jesus smile. And who the hell wants that to happen?
Ronald Reagan is a prime example of a Republican. The child bride of the evil, alien overlord, Xenu, he was notorious for his empathy towards racists and fascists, and hatred for gays and other minorities. In fact, Reagan allegedly singlehandedly created AIDS by fucking Micheal Jackson's pet chimpanzee, Bubbles, in a uranium mine. But it is disputed if it was actually Reagan or Micheal Jackson who was responsible for creating AIDS.
In the year 2000, George W. Bush, was crowned Lizard Pope of the USA by Florida Secretary of State, Katherine Harris. All Republicans/Reptilians hate Muslims. That's why they tried to pin 9/11 on them through a huge government conspiracy. Then he started a war with Iraq because Saddam Hussein fucked his mom, Barbara Bush, way too hard back in the 60s and up the butt. Bush's ascension to the popish presidency proves that even a cocaine addicted drunk with the IQ of a monkey's left nut can become a U.S. president if his parents are rich enough. The funny thing is, is that he is a monkey. If you compared a monkey to George Bush, would not be able to tell there would be no difference.
The United States Republican Party is currently the largest source of evil in the world, and they eventually hope that by following their hero they can spread freedom.
MySpace Republicans
Since MySpace is a place of liberals, there aren't that many Republicans at all. Therefore, they are the whiners of MySpace. They usually whine about how the liberals whine all the time. They also bitch about how liberals control MySpace and their freedom of speech.
Then, there is this unfunny black guy: Super Slave. Here, he blames atheists and agnostics for the increase of violence in the US: TL;DW Attack him if you wish, but be careful. He considers his views to be the best in the world. If you counter his points, he will attack you and block you on sight!
Trivia
- Abraham Lincoln was the Republican who pretended to care about black people. He claimed the civil war was to help black people, but he actually shipped most of the nigras to Africa and Central America for the lulz.
- All AOL users are Republicans. Typical comments on AOL news stories include the word nigger and commie at least five times. An AOL poll prior to the 2008 presidential election showed that John McCain would win all 50 states. The reason for this is that no one under the age of 70 with a brain would continue to use a shitty service like AOL.
- Contrary to popular belief Republicans and Democrats are not opposites. The only real difference is, while Republicans are evil, Democrats are spineless politically correct douchebags. In fact, the only reason anyone votes for Democrats is because the Republicans are so terribly retarded, they can't stomache them winning.
- Elephants are big bullies threatened by mice.
- Republicans are big bullies threatened by mice.
- The Republicans' new motto is: "God said it, therefore I must follow it!"
- Computer savvy people hate Republicans, because they are jealous of all the hot young ass they be gettin'. No, no, I'm kidding. They hate them because the alternative media tells them to.
Prostitution, Adultery, and other pastimes
If a Republican politician isn't gay, they're probably cheating on their trophy wives or soliciting loli on the internet, though it's usually little boys, making the politician a faggot anyway.
Real Christian values alright.
List of Gay Republicans
Gay republican furry wanted to yiff a 15 year old boy
Responce to above video
Evidently G.O.P. stands for Gay Old Pedophiles
- Alan The Panda -See above video
- Abraham Lincoln
- Patrick McHenry
- Duke Otterland
- Sema JayHawk
- Crazyconan
- InSaNe-REYNARD -A furry republican.
- CigarSkunk - (See "Insane Reynard" above)
- Norm Coleman
- Larry Craig
- Alberto Gonzales
- George Allen
- Ron Paul
- Ann Coulter
- Victoria4usa
- George W. Bush
- Ryan Bilodeau
- Son of Art
- Jar Jar Binks
- Joe Lieberman
- Mitt Romney
- Hitler
- Sarah Palin
- Jay Naylor
- John McCain
- Jason Aula
- Mark Foley
- Justgoto
- Hitler
- John L. Crow
- Billy Crystal
- Satan
- you
- Your mom
- Jeff Gannon
- Mallard Fillmore
- Michelle Malkin
- Alan Greenspan
- Rudy Giuliani
- Xiao-Feng-Fury
- Santa
- Ashley Todd (she'd also go on a list of fat Republicans, amirite?)
- Youngconservative -He hates Arabs, atheists, homosexuals, and critical thinking.
The Glorious Leader of the Republicunt Party
All hail the immortal Johnathan jewfag Krohn.
Joe Wilson
Joe Wilson, the Republican representative from South Carolina who served as an aide for segregationist governor Strom Thurmond, showed his respect and maturity last Thursday when he yelled "YOU LIE" during President Obama's speech to clear up misconceptions about recent healthcare reform plans. Wilson was hailed as a hero by fat conservative child molesters who failed to make the connection that Wilson was also in congress when President Shit For Brains told America that Saddam Hussein knocked down the World Trade Center. Republicans hate liars. Unless of course the liar is a Republican.
Shortly after, the usual uproar began on the internets and resulted in the assrape of Wilson's career as well as upwards of $250,000 being donated to replace him with Democratic congressman Rob Miller in 2010.
Kayne West
Kayne West resident jackass of the congress was outraged that obama would suggest that his healthcare was better than beyonce.
Youtube Republicans
Gallery of Republicunts
Ann Coulter, dominatrix. |
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See Also
External Links
- GOP Official homepage
- jewish_gop
- _gopchristians_ - morality starts here
- Internet Republican.
- Dead Internet Republican
- Psycho Liberal With a Crushed Spine and Irrational Hatred of Republicans
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