Racist
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
"I am not racist, racism is a crime and crime is for black people"
A Racist on Racism
Unlike bigots, racists believe that each of humanity's different races possess unique traits and skill sets. Most of the time, the word "racist" is actually misapplied, and is used in situations where treatment or attitude toward one person is found to be less favorable than toward another. For example, the statement "That's racist towards women" is in fact is sexism, not racism, because women are not a unique race. (They are, however, not quite as smart as guys and would be better off making me a sandwich or something.)
Racism is very socially acceptable even though never stated in the rules. Racism is best used to its full potential if one is a White male keeping down Blacks, Jews, Indians, Arabs, Chechens and other non-Whites. Combined with a high concentration of rhetoric and logic racism against these groups equates to a figurative atomic lulz bomb or better. Even though the victim of racism generally does not appreciate it racism in fact promotes cultural awareness. That is to say that it makes everyone else aware about how stupid, shitty and undeveloped their culture is while making yourself look like God by comparison.
Using so-called "racist language" on the internets can induce lulz not just for the offense it causes, but for all the butthurt faggots (note: "faggot" isn't racist either!) who write long tirades about how the "whole racist thing is getting old" and that you're being "more irritating than offensive." This is, of course, bullshit, as if they really weren't offended by your sudden dropping of the word "nigger," they wouldn't have bothered to type a reply in the first place. Pointing this out, as well as the way that many people take racism on the internets as EXTREMELY SERIOUS BUSINESS, is a prime source of lulz. Unless, of course, you're a faggot.
[edit] Scientific Basis
| “ | One of the world's most eminent scientists was embroiled in an extraordinary row last night after he claimed that black people were less intelligent than white people and the idea that "equal powers of reason" were shared across racial groups was a delusion. James Watson, a Nobel Prize winner for his part in the unraveling of DNA who now runs one of America's leading scientific research institutions, drew widespread condemnation for comments he made ahead of his arrival in Britain today for a speaking tour at venues including the Science Museum in London. The 79-year-old geneticist reopened the explosive debate about race and science in a newspaper interview in which he said Western policies towards African countries were wrongly based on an assumption that black people were as clever as their white counterparts when "testing" suggested the contrary... Dr Watson told The Sunday Times that he was "inherently gloomy about the prospect of Africa" because "all our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours – whereas all the testing says not really". He said there was a natural desire that all human beings should be equal but "people who have to deal with black employees find this not true" | „ |
| —Cahal Milmo, The [UK] Independent [1] | ||
Proof that all children are born racist. Arguments to the contrary are futile and boring.
[edit] RL Races
- Caucanoids (cock-a-noyd): Caucanoids hail from the temperate lands of Europe and western Asia. They are a
plain and boring raceLULZ the people whostoleinvented 90% of all inventions and culture are boring vs mudhut dwelling niggers who couldn't invent the wheel? GG SIR, and as such gainno bonuses or penalties+1000 INT, +1000 STR for their character stats. They do, however, gain an extra skill point per level, as they are seasoned travelers, having built empires across the globe. Recommended character class:Thief, as the white man excels at stealing from othersHAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS. Cleric, as God favors white men. - Mongoloids: Mongoloids come from the exotic lands of east Asia. Their complex society requires them to learn at a quicker pace, thus giving them a bonus to intelligence. They also gain a dexterity bonus from playing Starcraft. Their overcrowded cities have given them a smaller stature, earning them penalties to strength and charisma (unless they're girls, 'cause Asian chicks are hot). Recommended character class: Wizard, as those Asians are always reading books or something.
- Negroids: Negroids hail from the tropical lands of south Africa. They are an expressive and free-spirited race, giving them a bonus to charisma. Their culture of hunting and gathering has also given them a bonus to strength, which is amply used during riots and/or at Wal-Mart raids during natural disasters. They gain a penalty to intelligence, however, from "the man" always keeping them down. Recommended character class:
Fighter Barbarian I'M A FAG WHO PLAYS DNDThief, 'cause blax steel<==It's STEAL, you douche (fix). - Semites: Hailing from North Africa these specimens have kinky hair like niggers do but are not niggers, have yellowish skin like azns do but are not azn and occasionally might look White but are not white. Semites usually occupy themselves with religious rituals such as praying to a black meteorite or sucking infant cocks. When they are not doing those two activities they are creating new religions such as Christianity and killing fags who worship trees. When that fails they are complaining about the past having a lot to complain about such as the Holocaust and antisemitism. In reality there are not many Semites left; however, Jews still use the word as something exclusive and the word antisemitism has become a crime for other Semites such as Arabs, Jews themselves are not sure what the word means. Semites are typically found either in sweat shops or in run down hotels depending on what level they are. The recommended class for a Semite is Rabbi or Imam depending on circumstances.
- Other: Aboriginal and native races. These classes have since been pulled from game play, and as such are of no further consequence.
[edit] Examples of Racists
- Inbred hillbillies who compensate for low self-esteem by placing undue value on skin pigmentation, be it through supremacism or wigger-ism.
- Short and bald, with malformed genitals.
- Someone who likes to create cheap drama in forums and blogs through bigoted observations and derogatory anecdotal evidence.
- Teenage boys who think that by posting their retarded hate they're involved in "DEEP POLITICAL SHIT, YO."
- Hitler and his Nazi posse. Sieg heil.
- George Bush doesn't care about black people.
- A typical Encyclopedia Dramatica user.
- A typical member of the KKK (but not all -- some are open-minded and accepting.)
- Someone who would claim that losing a referendum is "like being raped by a thousand Arabs".
- Robbie Pierson, lol.
- Carlos Mencia thinking he's funny when all he's saying for 30 minutes is "Black people, white people" over and over again.
- You.
- ????
- Profit!
[edit] Racism Against Other Human Beings
Though white people are famous for producing notable racists, all cultures contain their share of H8ters:
- White people, because they are far "superior."
- Native Americans, because they used to own the land, but not anymore.
- Black people, because they own nothing.
- Jews, because people keep
trying to killkilling them. - Arabs, because the Jews won't die (and because of falafel).
- Mexicans, because they tire of being forced to work.
- Orientals, because people won't call them "Asian."
- Azns, because white people always assume they're Japanese.
- Germans, because they have so much practice at it.
- French, because everyone else laughs at and can pwn them.
- Irish, because they love a good explosion on a Saturday night.
- Russians, because the KGB need something to do since their empire collapsed.
- Str8s, because they cannot have the secks they so desire.
- Gays, because people won't let them wear wedding gowns.
- Christians and Muslims, because not everyone is them.
- Eskimos, because everybody else is doing it.
[edit] Racism Against Furries/Otherkin
Separate from the Human race lie the Furries and Otherkin, freakish demi-humans made of fur and gayness. These bizarre individuals have denounced their human origins, asserting they are a beautiful and unique mixture of human and animal (or dragon). To Furries and Otherkin, being oppressed for their beliefs is "fursecution"; to everyone else, it's lulz.
[edit] How To Not Be Racist
- Have a black friend/parent/business associate.
- Say, "I don't mean to be racist, but..." before saying the most stupendously racist comment imaginable. This automatically makes it not racist. Ex: "I don't mean to be racist, but we don't serve niggers."
- Be black. Ex: "All modern music is stolen from black musicians by untalented white scum." "Good point, sir, and well said."
- Associate your situation with that of a persecuted minority. For example, be white, middle class and emo, as not getting that car you wanted for Christmas is the same as seeing your parents executed in front of you in a concentration camp.
- Pretend to be homosexual, or become one. No stronger bonds can be forged than standing up for a nigga on the grounds that being black and being gay are, you know, essentially the same.
- Get away with it. If no one sees or cares of your racism, it's the same as not actually being racist.
- Cut out a large segment out of your brain.
- Stop visiting this web site and go back to using your computer for porn.
- Fap over inter-racial porn. It's hard to hate the black man when you're masturbating to him. Uh, her.
- Do what Germany did and DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING.
[edit] How To Tell If You're a Racist
- You have ever made a racial assumption about the perpetrator of any crime. LOL SERIOUS
- You are white.
- You are not white.
- You voted for Barack Hussein Obama.
- You did not vote for Barack Hussein Obama.
- You do not find Chris Rock funny.
- You do find Chris Rock funny
- You never watched Chappelle's Show because you can't understand the way "those people" speak.
- The sudden realization that your girlfriend is black has caused you great consternation.
- You think Hitler was "cool."
- You find darkies a source of lulz.
- Your genitalia only reacts to white women.
- You think the slogan "[insert your skin color] Power!" sounds pretty good.
- You are still reading this, when you were distinctly told to go back to porn.
- You are currently drawing breath.
[edit] Jurisdiction on racism and other political institutions
Since racism usually results in lulz, online court will usually open a case against the whiner for spreading anti-lulz.
In RL;however, things are different. Most courts in RL practice a form of racism that involves denial of said racism and then prosecuting other racists. Typically these are the standards for judging cases involving interracial crime :
- If the suspect is Black any form of depravity, violence, dismemberment and general sick shit is considered as a "random crime" or the victim being "at the wrong place at the wrong time".
- If the suspect is White the crime is by default a hate crime, the court merely needs to find "evidence" of this. Evidence can be anything from laughing at a negro to not being friendly enough to a Paki cashier. If that doesn't work they will get a Jewish psychoanalyst and mindfuck a confession out of you according to the methods used in 1984.
- If the suspect is Jewish there shall be no court.
- If the victim is Jewish the suspect is executed on the spot.
If you are White and taken to court over racism it is best to pull out your Ak-47 and use your years of Counter-strike experience to land a multitude of headshots and completely pwn the whole court. The important details are that you kill everyone and then surrender to the police or fly away in a helicopter to Canada. Should you be unable to escape America claim that you did it for the lulz and say that you hate everyone equally. It's better to be charged for mass murder than a hate crime against a negro by not addressing him as "sir" and letting him into your house.
Other political institutions also practice a form of racism, for example, colleges typically have an Affirmative Action program that rewards non-Whites for being non-White. This typically causes fewer places to be available in college and the end result is the sacrifice of valuable graduates . People who are qualified and skilled are left without a degree for the sake of divershittyfying already shitty college campuses.
[edit] OL Racists: Organized Craziness
- Resist.com - Is this the homepage of you or anyone you know? If so, you may know a racist!
- Ku Klux Klan - Seriously loony and armed. Troll only from a co-worker's computer.
- [2] - Tolerance. The central network of all things racist.
- Bobo Shanti - Rastafarian Afro-supremacy and Old Testament recipes. Commonly demonizes the gay man, white people and most of the the English language.
- John Birch Society - KKK members who wanted to schedule more meetings to talk smack and show off their steel-toed boots.
- Council of Conservative Citizens - Confederate Nationalist white-supremacist knitting circle, and why not?
- Stormfront - Still hating Jews, blacks, gays, liberals and suntanned folks after 68 years.
- Kingdom Identity Ministry - One of too many Christian Identity sites. Fundamentalist religious fanatics and white supremacists.
- Louis Farrakhan African Name Generator
- Louis Farrakhan Sing Along
- Black people love us! - Loony, possibly armed.
- [3] - Beautiful racist poetry.
- "Hello Mr Wales. I was just wondering what your opinions are on multi-racial editing of Wikipedia in the sense that some less than "straight" races get to edit the Encyclopedia."
- [4] - Map of hate groups in the United States.
- [5] - Nation of Islam.
[edit] OL Racists: Individual Crazies
- purelily
- jesuslovesyou3
- Kamau Kambon
[edit] See Also
- Adam Carolla
- All In The Family
- Christopedia
- Dianne Thorley
- Habbo Hotel
- Holocaust denial
- Jews did wtc
- Nigga
- Nobel Prize for Racism
- Tay Zonday
- Rodney King
- Sparkling wiggles
- Single Asian Female
- Adrianne Curry
- Racial Profiling
- Wyatt Mann
- Martin Luther King
- Nazi
- Niggergate
[edit] External Links
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Racist is part of a series on the cancer that is killing /b/. |
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