Rachel Corrie
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Interesting Fact: This article contains an hero. |
A stupid bitch who sat down in front of a bulldozer and was promptly run over. Thus, she has become an hero for protesters worldwide, just because a Jew happened to be driving it.
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The Story
Corrie, a 16 year old girl who was an anti-Israel communist, went to protest in Palestine because of Israel's practices of bulldozing houses of former suicide bombers. Corrie was an expert on the whole Palestinian conflict because she read an article on the internet. Honestly, you can only really stand for so many hours in front of Whole Foods waving graphic pamphlets of dead Palestinians in peoples faces before they politely tell you to move the fuck on. Never mind your interest in the ongoing conflict is fashionable at best and the locals are going to wonder if it was bleach or strychnine you had on your cereal that morning...you're fighting for THE PEOPLE dammit! Her noble cause was forwarded for eight whole weeks. until she met an adorable bulldozer online in an anti-Israeli chat forum:
| —Israeli Bulldozer |
Needless to say, the ad caught Corrie's attention despite their differences. Granted, the bulldozer had opposing ideological views but the weathered surface of the vehicle, the shiny earth-moving blades and rough tank treads spoke to something inside the young activist and stirred warmth in her loins unlike any other previous suitors.
Corrie finally decided to meet with the bulldozer, hoping it would stop, see the error of its ways and stop bulldozing the house of the latest lame-dick bomber who decided being ripped to death by explosives was worth a flatbed worth of virgins in the afterlife.
Sadly, the pairing didn't work out as planned. As the two met at the arranged time and place, the overenthusiastic bulldozer lurched forward and reduced Ms. Corrie to a flattened paste suitable for spreading over Monday morning bagels. Oh the irony.
Spectators briefly applauded her death and then dispersed, wondering when young white activists would stop using their country as a soul-searching divining rod.
Dramatic Stuff
Since she was anti-Israel and died, she is a great example of how evil Israel was. Never mind that she was a brainless protester without critical thinking skills (because, after all, SHE STOOD IN FRONT OF A FUCKING BULLDOZER), but she represents what's wrong with Israel, and, in turn, helps loonies hate America more.
She is adored by azad_slide, pirat_ponton, and woopflying, which leaves the possibility of lulz as a wide-open, infinite opportunity.
You can use the Rachel Corrie incident for lulz by posting pictures of bulldozers as comments on Palestinian journals.
See Solidarity.
Cash Cow Corrie
Corrie's grieving family have decided not to let her death be in vain. They are actively keeping her memory alive - not by continuing protests in Palestine or encouraging dialogue between the two sides. Even better! You can now buy tickets to overpriced wank plays with such inspirational titles as My Name is Rachel Corrie (GTFO! No wai!) and buy books on her life such as I Stand Alone (more like I Flattened Alone, amirite?. Also what kind of 16 year old girl writes fucking books?)
Some argue that they are planning to release Rachel Corrie cutlery sets, mousepads and mini bulldozers, with all proceeds to go to charity.
Secret Information about Rachel Corrie
- Rachel is possibly the most Jewish female name in the world. Although at least 100 Jewish girls named Rachel were purposely murdered by Palestinian freedom fighters, none of them deserve a broadway play.
- Her boyfriend is happy she is dead
- Her father works in insurance, and should have told her about the risk of standing in front of a moving bulldozer
- She used to make dead baby jokes all the time
- After the construction worker was done paving Rachel, he got out, stood on top of the bulldozer, leaned back and screamed WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! It's a Jewish vampire thing, you wouldn't understand, goy.
Outside Links
- A news article about her death.
- Inanimate object held responsible.
- An example of her liberal fucktard "reasoning".
- What happens when LiveJournal users like woopflying bring up Corrie.
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Rachel Corrie is part of a series on An Hero. |
