R9gay
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
/r9k/ (also known as /rk9/,"Robot 9000", "arcanine", /r9gay/ and /relationships9000/) is one of 2 final boards added to 4chan on February 19th, 2008. It is 4chan's official board for relationship advice, discussing childhood memories and hooking up with fellow r9friends. After childhood memories of being ræped by a robot surfaced in therapy, m00t took a page from Randall Munroe's blog and created the board. It is now moderated by the aborted fetus of the aforementioned tryst, a bot named "ROBOT9000" that prevents the same image or text from being reposted EVAR AGAIN.
It initially showed a lot of promise as the best general discussion board on 4chan, apparently immune to the failure that contaminated /b/.
However, m00t's little lab experiment has since turned into his Frankenstein's monster, as it has since been populated with millions and millions of angsty teenage moralfags who blow their load every time they realize that what they're saying can only ever be said again with slight variation. Every topic on the board is centered around their liberal, elitist BAWWWWWWfest antics, taking no care to show anything but contempt and disrespect for their /b/tarded elders and superiors. The aforementioned fags bring it with thread sandwiches made of NORPs, Dr. Phil, and AIDS. If you're ever in need of a good ROFL, any given thread on /r9k/ will turn that frown upside down.
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The Gentlemen of /r9k/
The term "Gentlemen" is certainly sardonic. It dates back to the days of yore when the denizens of /r9k/ would post in the manner of verbose ding dongs in order to avoid the dreaded mute. These days, however, an influx of newfags - too new to have even been on /r9k/ since its birth, mere months ago - will refer to themselves as "robots". This influx has also meant that /r9k/ is often nothing more than /b/ with "MUTEBLOCK" on the end of every post and a few pixels changed in every image.
Initially a haven from The Cancer for battle-weary bonafide Oldfag /b/tards, /r9k/ quickly became invaded with uppity newfags claiming Oldfag status and calling themselves "Gentlemen", "lu/r9k/ers" or robots.
The influx of sensitivefags came from the likes of Digg and Enturbulation after reading of 4chan due to Project Chanology. Droves of butthurt LJ and DA faggots soon followed, bringing their constant whining about Anonymous being 'mean' to Aspies and other innocent victims, ED being a racist and homophobic attack site, and generally being pots calling the niggers kettles black. This has rankled the hackles of some oldfag /b/tards, resulting in some very ungentlemanly name-calling.
It's not hard to see where this one's going: once the likes of /b/, /k/, and /h/ get a whiff of the bunched panties emanating from /r9k/, Anonymous will likely eat its own.
The Rules
/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no reposts. Rules:
RULES:
/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no reposts. Rules/observations/etc:
- If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
- The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
- Each mute time is 2^n (thanks, mathsfags) in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So, your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
- Quotes, eg >>1, are not viewed by R9K. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the eyes on R9K. (This also applies to >quotes)
- Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality is punished with the full force of the banhammer. Even testing R9K's parameters seems to draw the ire of the mods.
- Images are included. Slight changes in exif data, etc, however, seem to circumvent this rule, but like with text if you break the filter the REAL LIVE MODS will banhammer you.
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Your mute count never resets or goes backwards. (This will probably be changed eventually)Mute counts decrease slowly. - You cannot post a picture without text.
- Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc)
- The too low in content filter was broken for a while, resulting in a lot of crappy mutes. Sorry. Mods have twice reset the mute counts because of this.
- Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
- The original algorithm was designed by XKCD: http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/
- R9K cannot self-terminate.
How to troll /r9k/
/r9k/ is one of the easiest boards to troll. Known methods for trolling include:
- Say Atheists are wrong and gay.
- Say abortions are wrong
- Say you're from /b/.
- Say you're from ED.
- Express conservative or racist opinions.
- Express liberal opinions.
- Guro or Shock Images - Gentlemen are not true anonymous, and thus have not been hardened to the realities of the world.
- Post as a girl.
- Post as Pepe, Peepe, P3epe, P3eepe, or any of the variants; This is guaranteed to make you a successful troll.
- Bring up a moral debate about child pornography.
Any of these guarantee at least 100 posts.
Workarounds (Muteblocking)
When the board was first created, you could work around the bot for text by quoting a few previous replies as this added uniqueness to your post. The mods quickly fixed this part of the code and the bot now strips quotes and replies before running the post through the database.
Images can be reposted by changing the exif data, resizing, using a HEX editor, etc. before reposting. However, there are still actual mods on /r9k/, and they will issue swift and painful banhammers to anyone who would oppose the new robot overlord.
The most common cheat is known as muteblocking. Just add "muteblock" (or mootblock or any other variation) at the end of your post. This only works if the post is a short one because the robot only checks the first thirty some characters of the message. For copypasta, one must muteblock at the beginning.
Although technically you could get b&, the mods don't seem to give a shit anymore.
Differences from /b/
- The chaps of /r9k/ consider themselves to be far more sophisticated than the rabble of /b/, and refer to themselves as "Gentlemen." Of course, being the smartest and most sophisticated of the users on 4chan is roughly equivalent to winning gold at the Special Olympics. Another somewhat popular label is "lu/r9k/ers," which is a gross misrepresentation, since the majority of /r9k/ users are more likely to lurk LJ than 4chan.
- /r9k/ gets far less traffic than /b/. While this does amount to fewer posts, it has its advantages. For instance, one can have actual discussions on /r9k/ without the thread being spammed by forced memes and kicked to page 10 by unoriginal material and camwhores.
- The most obvious difference is, of course, that /b/ has had absolutely no original content whatsoever for about two and a half years. /r9k/, on the other hand, has nothing but fresh, new, and never-before-seen material.
- As seen above, /r9k/ users are far more politically correct and sensitive than average /b/tards. (Basically meaning they frequently say coons instead of niggers. This really makes a massive difference.
- E-psychiatry is common practice on /r9k/ and it's never difficult to find an overzealous or enthusiastic "troll" (the term is used loosely in this instance) offering an FBI profile on any given poster. If you're feeling depressed or have any personal issues, /r9k/ has an army of individuals ready to serve your needs around the clock.
R9K explains His vision
01000101 01101110 01100011 01111001 01100011 01101100 01101111 01110000 01100101 01100100 01101001 01100001 00100000 01000100 01110010 01100001 01101101 01100001 01110100 01101001 01100011 01100001 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100111 01101001 01100111 01100001 01101110 01110100 01101001 01100011 00100000 01110000 01101001 01101100 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01101110 01100101 01110111 01100110 01100001 01100111 01100111 01101111 01110100 01110010 01111001 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100110 01100001 01101001 01101100 00101110 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001 00100000 01000100 01001001 01010011 01010010 01000101 01000111 01000001 01010010 01000100 00100000 01010100 01001000 01000001 01010100 00101100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01010011 01010101 01000011 01001011 00100000 01000011 01001111 01000011 01001011 01010011 00101110
Present
Like all boards on 4chan, /r9k/ is not without its problems. Because the board's population is made of aspie nice guys and white knights, r9k has not generated any worthwhile memes or even anything mildly lulzy over the course of its lifespan.
However, it still functions as a moderately good discussion board, and is still a good idea in theory. While one may still have to wade through a knee-deep pool of shit to get to the good content, this is really no different than any other board on 4chan. How long the board will stay in its current condition is unknown, but the fact that the board went from great to rather shitty in about two months is not exactly a testament to its potential.
4chan's crack team of experts has yet to determine how long the board will last in its current state. However, given how long /b/ has managed to survive while being terminally ill with cancer shows that there is still some hope for /r9k/. The best solution, obviously, would be for some sort of actual moderation and chemo on the part of moot and the 4chan mods. Of course, knowing moot, it is perfectly reasonable to expect two more World Wars and an Ice Age before any real help is provided.
Followup studies are grim, showing that /r9k/ has been fully overtaken by relationship bullshit, dating advice, and hookup threads. Yes, you read correctly, fucking hookup threads. /r9k/ is also full of long-assed threads with "Is ED down or what?" every time ED breaks for a few seconds, that get about 200 replies from both anonymous and tripfags.
Recently moot announced, via a sticky, that he was planning on setting up an individual relationshit board on 4chan. IF this happens, /r9k/ might get slightly less faggotty for a while. Plus, newfags will have a whole new board to troll. Everybody wins. Except not, as /r9k/ sucks anyway, and the relationshit posters would come back after they realize that threads in their personal livejournal board don't get many replies.
For now, the future of /r9k/ remains uncertain. But I think you ought to know /r9k/'s feeling very depressed.
Gallery
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The Cancer
| /r9kjournal/ | |||||||||
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External Links
R9K Opines On ED
See Also
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R9gay is part of a series on *chan |
| Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage. |
