Teenager
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
The human adolescent, so named for the "teen" in their age (e.g., sixteen), that suffers from acne, fat, puberty and wearing braces. Teenagers are often characterized by their angst, self-loathing, constant overuse of commas and the word "like", as well as an unstoppable need to fit in somewhere. When not wasting daylight on the Internets, they tend to frequent the local mall. They are generally considered to be the Wikipedia of the human race; aspiring to be like the big folk, but so full of internal conflict and drama that it's a mistake to take them seriously.
Teenagers make up the largest percentage of the LJ user base, and often use x or underscores in their user names to set them apart from the other sheep (which rarely works; see the Law of Conformity). In apparent contradiction of conventional demography, 90% of all teenagers are 16 year old girls.
It is also a well documented fact that only 98 percent of teens have not tried pot. If you are the other 2% put this in your signature.
Contents |
[edit] What teenagers are most known for doing
- Not conforming by actually conforming to a larger group
- Speaking their mind (Exploiting the first amendment)
- Trying to be 2ally kewal on internet forumz so they can be MODERATOR OMG
- GETTING THEIR DICK SUCKED OMG
- Being level 93 at runescape
- Accidentally trolling
- Trying to be funny
- Being unfunny
[edit] The 2 Broad Phenotypes
Teenagers come in a wide variety of flavors, including:
[edit] 13 year old boy
Tell them that no matter how hard they try, they will never be a nigga or an AZN and laugh when they try to prove that they are.
Categories:
- Fanboy
- Freshmen
- Nerd Since the closest thing to "OMG U ACTUALLY TOUCHED A BOOBY!" was with someone much, much more experienced, slowly guide them along "the path." And when you reach the most intimate part of their soul, scream "Pwned!"
- Punk
- Sk8ter
- Emo
Awww, they've been through enough, let's just leave them alone.HAHAHA disregard that, I suck cocks Emos can be recognized from their distaste for life and their distinct amount of cuts on theirhandsdick and/or tits if they are of that persuasion(Fat guys), probably made to prove how 'hip' they are. (See guro.) Emos came to be sometime around last Thursday and were a more extreme, self-hating goth group. Emos generally tend to hate life and be easily dealt with by claiming they're fat, no-one likes them and then handing them a razor. - Fag
- Gamer
- Angry
- Juggalo
- h4x0r!!!!11
[edit] 16 year old girl
Note that sixteen year-old girls are not so much a flavor or "type" of teenager, but are instead a "template." Thus, a sixteen year-old girl can also be a goth, or emo, or almost any other flavor of teenager. If and when they begin to drone on about how, liek, Stacey was, liek, OMG stealing her boyfriend find the nearest e-pimp and be proud that you have found him his newest skank whore.
Categories:
- Attention Whore
- Drama Whore
- Goth Introduce them to a tanning bed and revel in the burning flesh! For maximum results, bring a fire hose to wash away the pounds of makeup.
- Slut
- Hippy
- Tartlet
- Jew
[edit] Puberty
All Most Some teenagers go through puberty. Puberty (moar like JEWberty, amirite?) is that special time when children start becoming adults. However, this never goes as God planned, and all it produces are retards, retards and even more retards. Those going through puberty will experience the following:
- A new self-image
- Anger
- Falling in with the wrong crowd
- Unwarranted self-importance
- New emotions and desires
- And the need to act out on them
- Realization of one's worthlessness
- Bleeding from your special area (No, not your wrist)
- Aand the constant generation of lulz.
If you do not know how to cope with your symptoms, there is additional material available to help you through this difficult time.
[edit] Facing puberty
When confronting puberty sufferers on the internets, keep in mind where they are coming from to ensure that maximum lolz can be achieved. Pubescents will complain about many things, but the appropriate response will be to remind them of what the future holds for their individuality. If you are approached by a pubescent or you are one yourself, follow this handy situation guide for dealing with common threats.
[edit] Facing yourself during puberty
The best way to deal with your changes is to start a journal. That way, when all the drama comes crashing down, we can later laugh about it... together... at you.
[edit] Educational Videos
[edit] See Also
Categories: Sex | Abnormal Psych | Subcultures | People
