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Prokofy Neva

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WARNING:

This article contains SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.
You can help by minimizing the life-ruining effects.
Prokofy in her younger years.
Prokofy in her younger years.

Prokofy Neva, also known as "Prok", in real life known as Catherine A. Fitzpatrick, informally as Cathy Fitzpatrick (born 1956), is an aging hippie and conspiracy theorist. Prokofy is one of the most infamous trolls and serial harassers of Second Life. She uses a number of accounts, most of which pretend to be ugly pimp priest-themed males 30 years her junior.

At this time, the only notable information on Prokofy (despite the fact that she roleplays as a male avatar) is that she thinks all /b/-tards are members of the Patriotic Nigras. She claims to detest being griefed by W-Hatters and Nigras, yet it evades her that every time she opens her mouth she makes herself a target thanks to her non stop stream of inane statements. Prokofy doesn't just feed the trolls, she serves them up a three course meal.

She also happens to be batshit insane. By her fans, she is passionately referred to as the "Old Bat".

Contents

Real Life Stuff

Prokofy in RL. NO SRSLY!
Prokofy in RL. NO SRSLY!

Prokofy has self-identified as Catherine A. Fitzpatrick (born 1956), a former translator of Russian from New York City[2]. Why she chose to learn this language is anyone's guess (why learn Russian if you hate communists?). She used to live in the Soviet Union (yes, seriously), where she was a student at the University of Leningrad, graduating in 1979. Apart from translating from Russian, she has also been a human rights activist in the past. The last ten years, she has spent most of her time on online games 24/7. Before she made her home in Second Life, she was addicted to The Sims Online (as "Dyerbrook", a citizen of Alphaville), and was widely despised there.

As a shriveled old hag that has never, and now will never, know human affection she uses Second Life as a sort of online hugbox. This explains her batshit insanity and general tendencies towards shitting bricks whenever she is disagreed with. She is a basement dweller of the highest order and has nothing left in her life but the shitty excuse that is Second Life. Bawwwwww.

Prokofy, on the right - a picture of beauty.
Prokofy, on the right - a picture of beauty.
"Second Life entrepreneur Prokofy Neva (Catherine Fitzpatrick in real life) likens griefer attacks to terrorism"[1]
"Second Life entrepreneur Prokofy Neva (Catherine Fitzpatrick in real life) likens griefer attacks to terrorism"[1]

In a disturbing twist, twist Prokofy/Catherine refers to having a daughter[3]. Obviously this is a child Prokofy stole from Soviet Russia and is fattening up in preparation for eating. However, some argue that Prokofy is actually a retrosexual, she had sex once but it was so long ago she no longer has any recollection of it.

Second Life Stuff

And what a handsome man she is.
And what a handsome man she is.

Prokofy's absolute insanity has not endeared her to anyone. Even the faggots that run Second Life, Linden Labs, banned her from their forums for massive drama creation. Excluding a handful of radical feminists, everyone agrees that she needs to become an hero as soon as possible. She can be seen ranting on any of the Second Life-related sites about how anyone that disagrees with her is a troll. She displays her overwhelming sense of unwarranted self importance and masterful displays of stroking her E-Peen to anyone who'll watch. It's so self righteous it's almost hypnotic.

It should be obvious, Prokofy believes Second Life to be SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS. According to Something Awful, Prokofy previously worked in the UN and as a sociologist but threw it all away to rent out imaginary land to retards. This goes some ways towards explaining her bitterness and easiness to grief. In fact, he/she is so easy to grief that even normal interaction will be treated as cyberrape or some shit.

Her avatar in Second Life is male, this leads us to the assumption that Prokofy, who apparently studied the oppression of women in Soviet Russia has realized the inherent inferiority of women and is disguising herself in an attempt to escape from the kitchen. Alternatively, she is just batshit insane.

If anyone is in Second Life for whatever reason then look for Ravenglass rentals, Prokofy's own little rental company.

Usual Rants

Prokofy harassing Emerald users in their own sandbox
Prokofy harassing Emerald users in their own sandbox

Prokofy most commonly writes articles about griefing in Second Life, and is well known for her belief that W-Hat, Plastic Duck, /b/ and Patriotic Nigras are all Leninist Bolshevik cultist Maoist Terrorist Communist Nazis from the planet Zolton-5, and are secretly collaborating with Linden Labs, Anshe Chung, Justice League Unlimited, Microsoft, The U.S. government, the FBI, the CIA, the KGB, MI5 and the Illuminati.

Prokofy's own political alignment can be speculated on to be somewhere between Rabid Ayn Rand Fangirl and Psychotic Schizophrenic Delusion, as not only has she given herself a Russian pseudonym, but also seems to somehow draw a parallel between any given event ever and Russian politics from anywhere between 100 years ago and last Thursday.

Prokofy's real name is Svetlana Stalin. She lives in an old folks' home in Wisconsin and is a member of the Trilateral Commission. She has a grandson called Mikhail Gorbachev. 100% fact.

She is also concerned by the Illuminati's evil plot to take over Second Life by establishing the "Feted Inner Core", a group that have regular orgies with the Second Life owners, Linden Labs and don't invite Prokofy. This shadowy group exists only in her mind and includes anyone that's been in Second Life for long enough that Prokofy can't call them a noob to avoid arguing.

She obsessively and regularly compiles a list of those in the so-called "FIC" and refers to them as such:

 
“ 		 
...Feted Inner Core, which you can think of as "the kool kids" or "the jocks and cheerleaders" or "the inside dopes" or however you called it in your high-school or your office, where perhaps you rage and gnash your teeth at the fact that people who seem to do less work or have less talent or even less fabulousness than you still get ahead through connections, favour-banks, or sleeping their way to the top. Or even if they DO deserve their spot in the Hall of Fame, because they DO work their *butts* off and DO have talent, you feel, but wait...what about the people with no talent? What about justice? What about fairness? I work hard, too!
  		„
 

—Prokofy Neva, obviously a sufferer of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which is characterized by unwarranted feelings of self-importance, grandiosity and a sense of entitlement.

NOTE: BEWARE, PROKOFY LOEVS LAWSUITS. She's sued Something Awful for libel apparently.[4]

Sockpuppets controlled by Prokofy Neva

  • Varian Neutra
  • Dear Leader
  • Random Unsung
  • Meridian Maginot
  • Dyerbrook Parvenu

She is also using the online nick "bladyblue".

Paranoia

As the internets are serious business, Prokofy feels that all those who have disagreed with her or insulted her, (usually after first being subjected to a batshit insane rant), do the following

 
“ 		 
"not only do they post the most vituperative commentary about you, they viciously stalk you around the Internet, posting everywhere you post to try to smear your reputation, finding you where you live -- even in real life! They ferret out RL data and use it to vilify you; they post outright falsehoods. These types of enemies loathe your very being and want you gone from the Internet." [5]
  		„
 

—Prokofy Neva, summarizing things nicely,

The following Second Life residents fall into this category.

  • FlipperPA Peregrine + Jennyfur Peregrine
  • Shaun Altman
  • Ian Betteridge
  • Csven Concord
  • Benjamin Duranske
  • Cristiano Midnight - Crime: Running a legit forum whose members mocked Prokofy
  • Joshua Nightshade - Faggot Extraordinaire
  • Dan Hunter
  • Hamlet Au - Crime: Being a better Second Life journalist than Prokofy.
  • Aimee Weber - Crime: Selling virtual clothes for virtual money.
  • Plastic Duck - Crime: Publicly refusing to suck the shit from Prokofy's ass.
  • Ralewyn Gray - Crime: Inferior bread for breaking.
  • Tenshi Vielle - Crime: Being a loudmouth twat on Shopping Cart Disco[6] and successfully baiting Prok once or twice.
  • Hazim Gazov - Crime: Being an anus.
  • Tizzers Foxchase - Crime Being too damn sexy.
  • Plastizzim Gazchase - Crime: Heading Second Life-wide conspiracy against the success of Prok

Bear in mind that these are just the ones that are actually stalking her through the internet. Little does Prokofy know but these people couldn't give a shit about her and her abortive attempts at creating conspiracy theories that make more sense than an employed Nigra.

Prokofy HOW-TO

  • Prokofy will not respond to teh anonymous trolls on her blog. She silently deletes.
  • In Prokofy's brain, Second Life people are real. Make an account and she will talk to you. Name your account Prokofy Anything and you have a friend for life.
  • Prokofy will respond to every statement about her on Second Life blogs. She Googles herself constantly. Mention her in fresh entries. She will find you and love you long time.
  • Prokofy "wins" by having the last word. Save blog links and comment once a week. "But I guess you won't reply again since you are a coward."
  • Prokofy's Google ranking is SACRED. Post comments to blogs as Prokofy or "Ravenglass Rentals" and list this page for your homepage. Make this the top hit for Prokofy.
  • Prokofy hates communists, collectivists, wiki culture, transhumanists, open source, the singularity, Linux, "Mac Geeks", kittens and puppies. Put any of these in your profile before any Second Life encounter.
  • Join Second Life. Name yourself Prokofy Anything and put the above things in your profile. Don't do anything wrong so the account lasts. You will get apeshit emails for years.
  • Prokofy owns land in a circle around a soviet flag in Second Life. The owner won't sell her that small piece of land. It's a great place to meet and talk.
  • Prokofy earns money in Second Life. She doesn't report it because she's a libertarian. Ask Prokofy whether she's stopped cheating on her taxes yet.

Quotes

Being the lolcow that she is, one article or comment by her can spawn at least 100 quotes full of lol.

  • I thought we were building a *better* world or something really new and different and spiritually challenging and intellectually challenging.
  • When he arrived at the sim, it was being rebuilt, evidently after a griefer trashed it and caused what one source says was close to $1,000 US worth of damage.
  • This *is* national news. - Referring to JLU's discovery of a griefer home base.
  • This is the face of Leninist cyberterrorism. - Referring to the Patriotic Nigras, W-Hat, and other groups that are in it for the lulz.
  • No, I don't give in to terrorists who demand ransoms or concessions. - Here you can begin to see the trend of giving "griefers" different silly names.
  • Drama is what they indulge in, trying to hysterically impose an extremist conservative notion of "not seriousness" on the world. - She found out the Reagan Connection!
  • I'm not even a girl, you know? - During a podcast about places to shop in SL, Prok says she isn't an authority on dresses as she isn't female (what?.)
  • I don't buy the Leninist line that these griefers' groups have components that "aren't about griefing". - Conservative Leninists!
  • They are all indicted as being part of a conspiracy to impose will on others by force.
  • I didn't claim any conspiracy here
  • They already have gotten you if you can't grasp the essence of the communist Big Lie that lies back of this Leninst group. - Referring to /b/.

Links

Since Prokofy Neva did little except write for the Second Life Herald (which she holds as a standard-bearer of journalistic integrity), she has many source of lulz for the world to see. Prokofy has since been pushed out of her post at the Herald by [awesomesauce|lulz]Pixeleen Minstral, Herald editor.


Prokofy Neva
is part of a series on
Second Life

People
Anshe Chung • Christoph Naumova • Felinoid • IntLib • Prokofy Neva • Skuee • Urizenus Sklar • Sekonda Huet

Groups
Justice League Unlimited • Patriotic Nigras • FurNation • W-Hat

Tools
ShoopedLife • Copybot 2.2





Prokofy Neva is part of a series on 
Gaming     
Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.     
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