Profit
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| USE IT AT YOUR OWN RISK (and NOT ON ED). |
PROFIT! - usually seen alongside its partner ???? - comes from South Park's preachy lesson about how 1337 capitalism is. In the episode, the "Underpants Gnomes" are sneaking into South Park homes in the middle of the night to steal peoples' underwear. After getting busted by the gang, the gnomes use a highly advanced mathematical formula to explain how they turn stolen underwear into profit. The formula was as follows:
- Collect underpants
- ?
- Profit
The ultimate goal in life is to gain as much profit as is possible. Jews learn this at an early age. Profit can come in a wide variety of forms and the achievement of any type of profit makes you a winnar. Gaining of profit is the only way to make your miserable excuse for a life worthwhile. By its very nature, all profit is delicious.
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Types of Profit
Although IRL profit usually refers to cash, profit as understood by in the internets exists as a tiered hierarchy. Many lesser profits can be exchanged for one of greater value.
Delicious Loli
Delicious loli is a truly delicious kind of profit, outranking all profits save lulz. The raep of a Loli is one of the ultimate goals of any Anon as it is a vital step towards winning the internets, and life itself. Remember, the more lolis that you raep before getting V& the more of a success your life has been. Also, nevar forget, stick it in the pooper.
Delicious AIDS
Delicious AIDS makes you win and become an hero in a matter of at least 4 months. Unlike lulz, AIDS is the real and unreal goal to finish your life. When used repeatedly, you will get an even greater profit! In fact, you will still either do it, faggot, do it for the lulz, or just delete everything for Christ's sake.
Delicious Drugs
Delicious drugs take away the pain of your miserable life and may give you a +5 to all stats.
Delicious Jew Golds
Contrary to expectations, Jew gold is almost the least valuable of profits. However, it is noteworthy because enough Jew golds can buy drugs or lolis, allowing you to strike at the weak-point for massive damage, but Jew gold will never buy you lulz. Note that, as the name would suggest, this level of profit is jealously guarded by our Jew overlords.
Accumulation of Jew golds is the best way to strike back at Zog.
Delicious Cake
Delicious cake is always a perfectly acceptable profit for any struggle. Delicious cake can be traded in for small amounts of Jew golds or can be used as bait for lolis.
The cake is a lie.
Internet Speakz
The following is the prescribed way to instruct someone on how to gain profit, normally sarcastically.
- Step one
- Step two
- ????
- PROFIT!!!
This construction is often used and 3 to 4 steps is usually the format. Longer may only be used in the event of truly epic lulz potential. An example for idiots follows.
- or
- Accuse Saddam of having weapons of mass destruction
- Invade Iraq
- Walk around for a while, kill some babies
- ????
- PROFIT!!!
- or
- Film Loose Change after smoking weed
- Protest in everywhere and yell at Bush (like he gives a shit)
- Don mask and become Epic fail guy
- ????
- PROFIT!!!
- or
- Get girlfriend ready for sex
- Turn off lights
- Leave and have dad enter room
- ????
- PROFIT!!!
- or
See Also
 Profit is part of a series on THE GRIDS THAT IS KILLING ED
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