BUY A SHIRT!
The ED TShirt Shop is open for business! THE WINNER OF THE TSHIRT CONTEST IS UP FOR SALE IN THE STORE! GET THEM BEFORE THEY RUN OUT! Click here to shop.



Preteen pageant

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Jump to: navigation, search
One of these is a Preteen Princess. The other is just fugly.
A prostatot beams at the thought of using her newly won Vibrator.
A prostatot beams at the thought of using her newly won Vibrator.

Preteen pageants are a fairly awesome form of entertainment, invented by pedophile parents who enter their prostatot daughters. The object is to provide gratuitous wank material for all the pedos sitting in the audience, under the guise of winning a prize.

Most of the prostatots that enter these competitions are spoiled rich brats. All of them are attention whores, and the only reason most of them are there is because their sad sickfuck mothers, who have realised that they are starting to excel at fugly, try and recreate their failed childhoods through their bratty slut daughters who would rather be watching cartoons, playing with other kids or listening to the Jonas Brothers.

Most Preteen Pageants take place in Kentucky, Louisiana and Alabama, as an alternative to fucking alligators and shooting niggas (or in some cases, fucking niggas and shooting alligators). Bear in mind that the definition of a virgin in these states is simply a loli who can still run faster than her brothers.

JonBenet Ramsey

There once was a prostatot named JonBenet. However, someone, possibly from /b/, decided to terminate her career prematurely, causing much lulz, some internet drama, and resulting in some fucktard creating a 'Who killed Jon Bennett Ramsey page' which may have attracted up to 6 hits. This unfortunately didn't even make fail in terms of internet drama. At least they could have let her create and delete an LJ account first. Of course, massive amount of vids have been posted on YouTube by the carebear emos, such as this:

and this

Be careful: some of these vids are seriously vomit inducing.

It's GOOD that she was killed, otherwise she would have ended up like this:

See also

External Links

Free prostatot piccies here.

Who the fuck killed her (who fucking cares)?

Preteen pageant

is part of a series on
Child Abuse
Personal tools
Link to this