Porygon
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Porygon is a pokemon named after Japan's inability to pronounce the word "polygon" correctly. It is also the most powerful pokemon in the game, and will evolve if you beat the elite four 666 times, release all your pokemon on the invisible pc, then fuck yourself with the super rod.
Porygon appeared in its very own episode of the shitty Pokeman animu, where it saved Ash and the gang from Team Rocket's rape traps once again. However, what makes this particular pokeman unique is the fact that it can instantly give over 9000 japanese boys the magical gift of epilepsy. Of course, because they were Japanese, nobody gave a shit about them. Instead everyone got pissed off that they didn't think of it first.
The Aftermath
Immediately the Japanese government got real decided to take a stance over the incident and sent armies of Nazis and full-powered shock troopers to investigate. It is rumored that Al Gore himself joined the fight against the oppressive Pokemon, but to no avail. It was not long before the population of weeaboos in Japan was cut by at least 100 people. This was celebrated by thousands of Japanese girls, who realized that this incident meant their daily rapings were now semi-weekly, and held a festival where each girl got to shove porygon-shaped dildos up their twats. Many died from internal bleeding
Scientists believe that the flashing lights triggered photosensitive seizures in which visual stimuli such as flashing lights can cause altered consciousness. Although scientists know that approximately 1 in 4,000 people (0.5–0.8% of children between 5–13 years old) are susceptible to these types of seizures, the number of people affected by this Pokémon episode was unprecedented. Oh, but those silly Azns simply didn't have the proper medical knowledge shared throughout the western world, and decided to go ahead and air the episode without checking a fucking medical journal. But, then again, no one gives a shit.
Facts
- Saddam Hussein was thought to have possessed this Pokemon, and as a result the War on Iraq began for control of the weapon of mass destruction.
- Porygon's seizures cause over 9000 Japanese boys to becomes an fag every day.
- Porygon's lulz level is somewhere around 9000. Though not as high as Mudkip, its more than enough to shut certain newfags up. Plus, it provides a perfect solution to the Japanese.
- Porygon and its various siblings are known for spreading viruses, inciting many to get Norton.
Catching Porygon
If you are a faggot that happens to play the Pokeman games today then you are in luck. A winrar can be you if you follow these steps to capture a Porygon:
- 1. Catch all 150 Pokemon. You don't have to catch Missingno. or M.
- 2. Go to any Pokemon Center EXCEPT the one in Cinnibar.
- 3. Release ALL of your Pokemon EXCEPT for Mewtwo.
- 4. Beat the Elite 4 with only Mewtwo 4 times.
- 5. ????
- 6. Profit!
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