Portal of Evil

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Jump to: navigation, search
The Portal of Evil.
The Portal of Evil.
Owner Chet charming the ladies.
Owner Chet charming the ladies.

Portal of Evil (or PoE for short) is a website that is primarily a portal to bizarre, disgusting and just plain wrong websites throughout the internets, which range from the hilarious (teenaged goths, stupid angry conservatives, UFO nuts) to horrifying and disgusting (furries, people who obsess over life-sized dolls, erotic fanfic) to the hilariously horrifying and disgusting (Jennifer Diane Reitz).

POE has a rigorous "Prime Directive" that forbids people from interfering with the sites on display or interacting with the site owners unless of course they come to POE to complain. This rule is cheerfully ignored by everyone in the interests of drama.

Contents

[edit] Editors

The site is maintained and co-owned by incoherent fatbeard Chet who also runs oldmanmurray (a popular video games site that is no longer updated). The co-owner of the site and editor in chief is kthor. Other editors have included Annna and popular trannies codehappy and JSP.

[edit] PoE posters

Generally PoE's members have more psychological issues than the entire furry fandom put together and are mostly fat nerds, fat chicks, fat nerds pretending to be chicks, crazy psycho bitches and furries. Oh, and fags. Fat fags. Most of them are autistic academics or people with an arts background (reading these words I've writ) and/or old-school RPG geeks who are angry at furries, otherkin, Magykal Faerie Princesses, and other idiots who they think are gaying up their favorite hobby. They include a frightening number of Gene Wolfe fans, a strong indicator of massive, crippling rickets.

Owners of featured sites and other random whackjobs frequently come to POE to defend their terminally stupid fetishes and lifestyles, resulting in thousand-post threads full of dead memes and people calling each other fags.

[edit] POE-News

PoE also hosts a news site (POE_News), with its own forums. There is something of a cultural divide between the main PoE forums and the more politically-oriented POE-News forums, which occasionally leads to boring gay drama of interest only to the autistic and/or retarded (i.e. the average PoE poster).

[edit] POE vs Something Awful

POE vs SA.
POE vs SA.

PoE tends to look down on Something_Awful in much the way that SA does on Fark.

[edit] Fursecution

PoE is much despised in particular by furries, who see them as evil mundanes who hate them because they are different and are trying to fursecute them. In fact, most of the POE members are furries, though mainly the angsty self-hating kind. While furry sites were very popular in the early days of POE, they are considered a bit old meme now, but the furry fandom has yet to realize this. Witness the excited jizzing here as furries prematurely ejaculate celebrate PoE's supposedly being "on its last legs".

[edit] PoE posters

Shmibbon is full of hate. And lard
Shmibbon is full of hate. And lard
KThor is an artistic genius.
KThor is an artistic genius.

[edit] Moderators

  • Chet (aka Chester "the Molester" Faliczek) is the crazy old fatbeard who owns the site. His poor command of written English may mean that he is either autistic or alternatively in the terminal stages of Alzheimer's.
  • Kthor is superior at everything. He is a dildo who has hair like drapery and can draw perfectly and fill a diaper at a moment's notice.

[edit] The hoi paloi

  • Anomalocaris is a sexy man who writes wolf stories. He is not a furry. he is overly fond of alcohol and frequently forces women out of his house at all hours of the day. In a previous life he was feared wildman of the forums Alienjack. His current handle is a reference to his white trash dentistry.
  • Athodyd is a nerd who based his name off of something and is frequently upset with people. He likes something or other.
  • Big Beef Burritos Supreme is the British Stationary Tornado, but ostensibly with glue huffing instead of marijuana.
  • Binro the Heretic is a pudgy-faced man-child with an affinity for dragon shirts and getting no respect at all.
  • Caminante Nocturno (formerly Nocturnal Walker) is a longtime anime fag and quasi-pedo and the reason many people on Portal of Evil hate everything to do with anime.
  • Cap'n Profan!ty is a substandard college professor who regularly beats his students and even his own (imaginary) children to make up for his own failure at everything except making shit out of Lego. There are rumors circulating regarding his prediliction for Star Trek slash (original series of course).
  • Codehappy is responsible for a forum search engine that is so fucking out-of-date it isn't even funny. Codehappy plays a woman on the Internets.
  • Enjoy is a jug-eared Republican with a fat wife and a penchant for trolling the forums, at which he excels. He regularly posts cartoonishly conservative statements whereupon all the windowlickers fall over themselves screaming at him.
  • Frostilicus is a homeless man. SR:BtP provides him with a place to sleep and nocash gives him food stamps and stolen produce. His hobbies include chronicling his pervasive dementia through drawing and painting.
  • fuse13, previously known as nethead, is an Australian who can often be found speaking in defense of terrorist nations. He has so far not managed to discover his SHIFT key which gives his posts a charming and childlike air.
  • Gibbs is the poster child for PoE: a broken kid who says crazy things mainly because he is in fact wonderful (see below).
  • Gleaker is a failure currently in the process of re-inventing himself as an ironic failure. ironically, he is failing at this.
  • Long Gone Daddy is an elitist doctor of the Indian persuasion. Very twinky. Previously known as SR:BtP which stood for Specimen Removed: Baby to Path or something
  • NoCode is a homely old boot with great tits.
  • PurpleXVI generic Eurofaggotnazi.
  • Repomancer wants to kill you and harvest your organs. Well, just your liver.
  • Shmibbon (aka Fappo) fat shut-in who frequently kills and eats members of his own team.
  • Ron Mexico Gave Me Herpes (formerly Starless and Bible Black) aka StukaFox, failed furry and sworn enemy of Scientology.
  • Stationary Tornado (aka Expanding Brandon, quip_quotch) was mainly mad and now thankfully banned posting as jackin. He is a fat, crazy fuck from San Diego. Years of drug abuse and giving blowjobs to hobos have given him a moderate case of fuse13 syndrome and left him chronically irritable (he is irritable without the chronic). While near the exhibit, be sure to ask him about Harry Potter and what it is like to be on IRC long enough to need a poop sock.
  • Superfister69 always makes a "witty" comment and then posts a "funny" picture with his logo on it. He posts more than anyone else when he can spare some time from investigating truckstop gloryholes.
  • Syd Midnight is a pompous old Usenet beardo who is so full of shit he squeaks on tight corners.
  • thebaronsdoctor is pissed because this article didn't mention him. This should shut him the fuck up.
  • Tomas's claim to fame is being young, whimsical, European and as gay as a bus full of furries.
  • ULTRA PEANUT (formerly the poster known as King Prawn) is a twitching spastic English gimp gamer from Leeds.
  • Xiphias likes dragons and other men and other men who are dragons on the inside. Also: pie.
  • Ygurts is a known pedrophile which means he struggles to overcome his love and sexual attraction towards Mexicans.

[edit] Gone but not forgotten

  • Elle was a batshit crazy old woman, like all female posters unwary enough to reveal that they are women.
  • FABIO was an ungrateful little shit who plays video games, complains about video games, and never has the time to thank people.
  • Feilicanoiche was a male whore (yes, really). He was a member of the A4 group, along with visiondust, liquidsnakeyes, and metalron.
  • Helium Rat was pretty well indistinguishable from all the other autistic nerds.
  • Jenigma was very fun, pretty, and great and everyone loved her, mainly because she was guaranteed to put out and always swallowed.
  • jhudsui was running from an abusive father.
  • JRR bore the double stigmata of being responsible for the original Flash video of All Your Base and also of being a young Republican. Currently AWOL.
  • JSP (aka Jizzy Jeff) was the resident tranny of the forum.
  • Mayberry Pancakes was as pretty as a picture. Once married to Feyd, bearing him a single son (Inconsider); said child removed due to an abusive environment and now known as Dr. President Mr. Steve Elvis America Important News! Feyd is now officially a grandfather! D.P. Mr. Steve Elvis and Ygurts have recently announced the birth of a single child, tentatively known as Akira. We at PoEN wish the happy couple the best of luck with their new child.
  • Namor piss-drinking sailor and faggot.
  • Nick C was an emo hipster faggot (the C stands for Caccamisi which he would prefer you didn't know) who left because of "months of relentless abuse and harassment by a gang of fucking sociopathic shutin losers".[1] only to shortly return as Akira.
  • Roachbud is still a bouncer.
  • Tal-Pass Portaxx was this little blue thing. She was best known for soul-raping innocent and talented artists who had committed no crime other than loving wolves.
  • TEDA died inside. He talked about pedophiles a lot.

[edit] Gibbs' reaction to discovering he is listed here

 
“ 		 
It was really fulfilling for me to find today that I'd been added. The entry even describes me as a "kid". I guess that's nice, but I'm almost 25. I need to make a baby, I'm not even playing! RIGHT NOW! I MEAN IT! You can tell I'll be a good father because I can make it happen right now, and I mean it.
  		„
 

—-Gibbs


[edit] POE trolls and subjects

Pancake Bunny is a great stand-in image.
Pancake Bunny is a great stand-in image.

[edit] External Links

This article is a stub. You can help by expanding it.
Retrieved from "http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Portal_of_Evil"
Personal tools