Pig

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

(Redirected from Pork)

This article needs moar internets.
You can help by adding moar internets.

Hey!		This article isn't lulz just yet, but its coverage can spark a lollercoaster. You can help by reverting people who delete shit, and vandalizing their user pages. See this article on google? Want to add something? Join us!

A regular pig. Good for sausages.

Furry Pig. Not good for sausages.

Pig can refer to:

The formal term for police officer.
Synonymous with fat, as in: Put down the fork, you fucking fat pig.
The #1 cause of rampant disease, death and disorder.
A fat, hairy, dirty, smelly - but extremely tasty - mammal.

Pigs are commonly depicted as small, adorable pink animals, with a squiggly little corkscrew tail and a cheery disposition.

Ha ha, fuckers, guess again.

The most common type of pig is a giant fucking beast, topping a couple hundred pounds, with thick, dark hair and warts, breath like a thrice-used urinal and shit stuck to its ass.

Trapped within this horrible, stinking exterior lies one of the most delicious foods known to man: pork.

Pigs can be taught to stand upright, open doors, and even speak a few words of English, but who cares? Tasty animals deserve to be eaten even if intelligent. That's our god-given right as humans!

On Your Plate

Troll or Miracle?

Pork is God's gift to man that can only be eaten by his most chosen people. Anything can be improved with a little pork, especially if this comes in the form of bacon. Even pork steak can be improved with bacon (seriously). Chicken cordon bleu? Chicken wrapped in bacon, covered with cheese. Bacon wrapped in bacon? Now that's apocalyptic yet tasty.

In modern agriculture, pigs can be used to make delicious, meaty sausages. Before you use a pig for this though, first make very sure that it's not merely a furry in its fursuit. If you become embroiled in a love affair with a furry who has a pig fursona in which she is a domme, then you stand a good chance of being ham-fisted.

Who Doesn't Eat Pork?

Jews: It's not Kosher! Meaning, it reminds them too much of themselves, so eating pigs will mean a one-way ticket to Hell for eating their own kind. Those who don't mind eating their kinfolk won't eat it anyway because they can't cook or use a fucking thermometer.
Towel-headss: It's treifah! Meaning, it's the only critter dirtier and smellier than Jews, meaning they won't eat it due to years of Jihad against said Jews (and everyone else). Besides, who wants to go to hell for eating a Jew when you could get 50 virgins for Blowing yourself up?
Niggers: It's not chicken or watermelon! Correction - they WILL eat it, but only the intestines and anus which they call "soul food". Oh, and the feet, too, can't forget the feet
Dot-heads: It's bad Karma! Apparently they all used to be pigs or something like that and so won't eat pigs because they will turn into pigs after they die and get eaten by more suckers who will then turn into pigs and get eaten who will turn into pigs and... AHAHAH DISREGARD THAT... Hindus don't eat cows.
White Men: White men have too much pride to revert to Cannibalism

Oddly, pigs will eat other pigs if given the chance.

Ode to the Pig

According to famous traditional American poet Bing Crosby:

A pig is an animal with dirt on his face

his shoes are a terrible disgrace

He has no manners when he eats his food

He's fat and lazy and extremely rude

But if you don't care a feather or a fig

you may grow up to be a pig

Notable Pigs

Spiderpig

Popularized by the Simpsons movie, the unfunny "Spiderpig" meme became fleetingly popular, leading to the creating of the somewhat less broadly-accepted Niggerpig meme. If you hear someone spout the former meme, they are a n00b - treat them accordingly.

German Girlpig

Since Germans are no longer allowed to kill Jews or any other useless shit, they invented a TV show that humiliates all kinds of unworthy scum. The most popular one is the German girlpig.