Pope
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Final boss of the world's Roman Catholics, the Pope is the ringleader of the world's largest pedophile group. He is best known for his flamboyant paper hats, his time-traveling powers, and for looking exactly like the evil Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars as well as for fulfilling the Emperor Palpatine's fictional role in real life (The Vatican is no moon; rather, it is a space station). Contrary to popular belief, the pope does not need to poop.
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Breaking News
After the unexpected and suspicious death of the smooth-skinned, voluptuous and monotone R&B singer, Pope Sean Paul II, a new Pope, Benedict XVI, has risen to power in a brutal ascendancy which left the Vatican littered with the smoking bodies of Cardinals from the world over. Promising to rule the Church with an iron fist, the Pope urged his flock to "use [their] hatred" in a grating, otherworldly rasp.
Facts About the Current Pope
- Is king of all the child molesters and gets batshit insane when this gets pointed out .
- Has pecs the size of small moons.
- Strongest recorded jaw strength of any animal or human, living or dead.
- Real name is Amanda.
- Had a brief love affair with Borat.
- He wields the strength of 10 ordinary Popes.
- Once had body of former pope dug up, clothed, tried for various crimes, convicted, and thrown into the Rubicon.
- His skin is actually made of precious Adamantium.
- Tried to convert Luke Skywalker to the dark side of the force.
- He is the father of hero Josef Fritzl.
- He murdered 12 Jews with force lightning when he was supposedly "forced" into joining the Hitler Youth last Thursday.
- Is not attracted to women except to the Virgin Mary.
- Has published a book translating it in at least 100 languages, but everybody failed to give a fuck about it.
- Worked for Hitler during World War II but is now pope for some reason.
- Current model of Pope-Mobile does 0-60 in 37 seconds, but gets 114 mpg (diesel).
- will not answer my goddamn call to figure out where to buy a pope hat.
Pope John Paul II: never forget
Pope John Paul II was born in 1977 in California, and is an adult film actress of Vietnamese and Chinese extraction whose numerous films and photos became widely distributed on the internet during the early 2000s, especially through P2P file sharing and TGP galleries.
He had breast implants midway through his career and is known for a buxom figure and numerous hardcore joys with boys.
Although his name is often pronounced "Maiko", he actually pronounces it as "Meeko".
His body, covered with apparent lightning burns, was recently found by his personal assistant Waylon Smithers after Smithers sensed what he termed "a great disturbance in the Force". Thus began the bloody process of selecting a new Pope to rule the world's quivering masses of Catholics.
Quotes
- "...Sex on film is different from my personal life. It’s more passionate and down to earth. There is more love and it’s sensual, more hugging and touching. On film it is more fucking, fucking and fucking."
- "These aren't the droids you're looking for."
- "I like everything. I like nasty sex. Hot, passionate sex is good. That’s what I like, hot passionate scenes."
- "A person we can all aspire to be is Mary Magdeline. That whore can suck toes like no other."
- "Don't ever fuck with me. If you do everyone you care about will suffer. Then you will beg for death"
- "...I like Chinese, they only come up to your knees; they're cute, they're cuddle and ready to please, I like Chinese."
- "WOW! Would you look at the funbags on that hosehound! BOW-CHIKKA-WOW!"
- "ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT?"
Appearance
http://www.myheritagefiles.com/video/I/28/678l29_2523294b629f74rw9yzs29" POPE IS PETER WELLER! ZOMGZ BREAKING NEWS.
- Height: 5' 9"
- Weight: 120 lbs
- Bra/Waist/Hips : 34D-24-34
- Penis : 0,000000000000001
Gallery
Benedict XVI
 Merry Christmas. |
 The Sith Lord and his dark minions unsheathe the newest papal light saber. |
 Niggaz? In my Church!?!!. |
 Pope Meets Hitler!!1! |
 The Pope trolls Metallica. |
 The Pope exerts his power in a Force-lightning fury. |
John Paul II
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 Do not get on his dark side! |
 The pope sees right through your bullshit |
 Trippy John Paul liked a lick of the old toadstool |
 ALL HAIL THE SLOWPOPE! |
 The Vatican's zombie leader |
See Also
LINKS
| Pope is part of a series on Religion 
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