Police Brutality
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
The police force is mainly composed of angry dorks who dreamt of being in special forces, failed all of the physicals, IQ tests, etc., and were faced with only one choice. Consumed by frustration, they have been beating up pretty much anyone they feel like for at least 100 years, but have recently become more advanced in their application of technology to the delicate art of doin' it to uppity hippies, anarchists, and niggers, most deserving every stroke of the night-stick they get. Where in the dark ages the police had to charge crowds with sabres drawn and slash and shoot the shit out of them, they now have tear gas, steel-plated fucking trucks and cool body armour. This constitutes a challenge for the rioter, especially as the body armour is now also flame-retardant, so plan carefully before your next riot. Otherwise the pigs will draw on their extensive training to fuck you up, manacle you and like as not pwn you thoroughly downtown.
Contents |
Jewtube videos of police at their best
Old man getting tasered.
A woman getting what she deserves.
Methods
The pigs have a number of methods they employ to abuse the taxpaying populace while making it seem like an "accident" or attempting to make it appear as if they didn't do it at all. These can include, but are not limited to, the following types:
- "Accidental Discharge": Be it a snog's Glock or a tazer, pigs will often plead a mysterious "misfire" of their weaponry, even though their equipment is supposedly checked by professional weaponers. This will usually entail a gun or tazer being accidentally discharged into the hapless victim at close proximity and always in a non-lethal area of the body, such as an arm or leg in the case of a firearm or in the ass in the case of the tazer.
- "Phone Book, but Where's the Phone?", : This piece of fun and games takes place in an out of the way area of the cop shop, usually an interrogation room or even an elevator (yes, it's true). There will be a thick phone book, like the Yellow Pages, but no phone in sight. The pigs will maintain that it is provided so that the perp has ready access to lawyers numbers or can look up family members to bail them out, but the real purpose of the book is for the cop to punch the perp through as doing so minimizes the possibility of bruising to minimal/non-existent proportions.
- "Find the Speed Bumps": Another favorite of sadistic pigs who operate the "Charlie" units (paddy wagon), this piece of work entails taking the perp and "hogtying" them with wrists and ankled behind their backs. They are then thrown unceremoniously into the back of the paddy wagon unsecured. After smoking the weed they confiscated as "evidence" from the perp, the cops go to the parking lot of a nearby mall (or, alternatively, the bumpiest rural road that they can find) and proceed to drive, at speed, over every speed bump and asphalt anomaly they can possibly find. The result, of course, is that the perp bounces like a pinball all over the back of the wagon, completely unable to use their limbs to protect areas like skulls, teeth and ribs against the unupholstered, metal surfaces that often comprise the back of a paddy wagon. Once your meat has been thoroughly tenderized, the pigs will generally resort to "catch and release" policy, since they generally don't want to explain how you came to so much physical damage in the mere 3 block actual distance to the cop shop, had they not taken their little "detour".
- "Waterboarding": But only used against suspects that police believe need a good wash [1].
Have a nice day.
For action plan, see: Molotov entertainment
Rodney King
Rodney King was a serial felon who got the shit beaten out of him one night by a bunch of cops who had nothing better to do. This is the usual reason for police brutality, and yet everyone acted all surprised. Go figure.
Anyway, while the three (white) pigs pummelled the helpless tool to a miserable whimpering mess, some passing Communist videoed the proceedings, and the subsequent publicity resulted in the outstandingly ironic case of The State vs. Police Brutality. Tremendous lulz resulted as the officers involved explained how they actually acted with great restraint not shooting King through his black head, as they would have been entitled to under the circumstances, and they were duly acquitted by a judge.
| —Rodney King |
LA went apeshit and the police were further rewarded for what the law had confirmed was indeed the righteous beatdown of Rodney King. Every officer in the city was granted an unimpeachable, bona fide excuse to shoot, pistolwhip and generally fuck up as many niggers as he liked for a whole week or something.
Training on the job.
