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Pig

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This article is crap. You can help by completely re-writing it.

A regular pig. Good for sausages.

A furry wearing its fursuit. Not good for sausages.

Whatcha gonna do when they beat on you?

A Winner is you.

pig raep action

Pigs are commonly depicted as small, pink beasts, with a corkscrew tail and a cheery disposition.

Haha, fuckers, guess again.

The most common type of pig is a giant fucking beast, topping a couple hundred pounds, with hair and warts, breath like a used urinal and shit stuck to its ass. Basically, your mom.

Trapped within this horrible, stinking exterior lies one of the most delicious foods known to man: pork. Jews won't eat it because they can't cook or use a fucking thermometer. Blacks won't eat it because it's not chicken or watermelon. Dot-heads think it's their mom or some shit like that, so basically it leaves white folks as the only ones to enjoy the ambrosia that is pork. This, of course, proves that God loves WASPs, but, fuck, we knew that already. Thanks, Big Guy.

Pigs can be taught to stand upright, and even speak a few words of English. Over 9000 years ago, the government decided to troll the public by shaving these pigs and squeezing them into a set of blue pants and a shirt, then giving them cars with pretty lights. Their plan has not worked according to plan, and the trolling has become an epidemic.

If you encounter one of these C.O.P.s (Cockmongling Overdressed Pig), DO NOT attempt to reason with it. These beasts are mentally retarded, and will attempt to beat you down with the three sentences they know. Instead:

1. Do not pull your car over. (Srlsy, what are they going to do, go Mad Max on your ass?)

2. If you are caught outside the car, or must stop for some important reason, remember to speak to the pig in its native tongue, by oinking. This will make it feel at ease, and you'll see its joy in the increased blush of its skin, and the loud oinks it replies with.

3. Should your pig become agitated, you may need to euthanize it. Do so by the following means if male: firearms are the preferred form of death, but anything that comes to hand will do the job, really. Beating a pig to death with your cock (if you can find it) means major bonus points. Don't forget to put two in its head, to make sure it's dead!

If female: attempt to suck the pig's brains out. Everyone knows that pigs' brains are located in their lower abdomen, so the penis is the easiest route. Suck until the brains squirt out. You'll know this occurs when the pig sighs out its dying breath, and you feel the brains fly into your throat.

4. Calmly walk away. Pigs are sensitive to movement, and will chase you if you run.

5. ????

6. PROFIT!

3 pigs wanting to get hit by a pig car.

A Wikipig.

According to famous, traditional American poet, Bing Crosby:

A pig is an animal with dirt on his face

his shoes are a terrible disgrace

He has no manners when he eats his food

He's fat and lazy and extremely rude

But if you don't care a feather or a fig

you may grow up to be a pig

In modern agriculture, pigs can be used to make delicious, meaty sausages. Before you use a pig for this though, first make very sure that it's not merely a furry in its fursuit. If you become embroiled in a lesbian love affair with a furry who has a pig fursona in which she is a domme, then you stand a good chance of being ham-fisted.

[edit] Other Usage

Popularized by the Simpsons movie, the unfunny "Spiderpig" meme has become quite popular. If you hear someone spout this meme, they are a n00b treat accordingly. They should go see that new movie, The Spiderpig Chronicles.

There are also Piglice, a band of IRL Mods who ban people for CP, rape, and doing it for the lulz.