Pizza and Beer
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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The dynamic duo, the misfits of mayhem, the Lewis and Clark of Saturday afternoons. Pizza and beer are two entirely separate items that are entirely inseparable.
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A brief history of pizza
Technically the pizza was invented by a woman named Kearstin (her last name was never recorded). Kearstin was approximately 13 years old when she discovered how to create "pizza". Everyone was reluctant to try it at first but finally, Kearstin convinced her older brother to try it. Muhamid LOVED the taste of pizza and insisted on every on in town to try it. Eventually all the townfolk had a taste of this delicious food called "pizza" and Kearstin became a celebrity over night. Everyone was demanding this pizza and Kearstin charged Two-cents per slice (remember this was 1927). She eventually opened up a pizza stand and worked six hours a day. When Kearstin became old and gray, her grandson Chris P. Bacon, decided to open a restaurant that served ONLY pizza. And that my friend is how Pizza hut was created. So now every time you go to Pizza Hut, and bite into that slice of delicious pizza you can think of Kearstin. It's just a damn shame that Pizza Hut now serves pasta, cookies, deserts and hot wings now. She died in vain.
Bet you're looking it up on Wikipedia right now.
A brief history of beer
[1] Beer dates back to Biblical times, and Noah was the first recorded alcoholic. Beyond that nobody really cares where it came from because it's just so damn good. Beer is a scientifically proved prophylactic, and helps socializing by making everybody as dumb as each other. Christian monks were, at one point, so good at brewing beer that they built castles out of it, much like bees do with honey.
The art form of beer is now mostly degraded, and the level of brewing expertise in a nation is directly proportional to their proximity to Belgium (Feel free to assume that every Belgian person knows how to brew beer) - a nation so advanced in beerology that rumors have it they once brewed a beer out of nails and scorpions. (This is now sold in New Zealand under the moniker "Lion Red".)
Uses of pizza and beer
- Eat.
- Drink.
- Detergent.
- Chick magnet.
- Unclogs your poophole.
As a drama-generating technique
- Drink beer and then drunk dial/drunk post
- Post pictures of pizza in vegan communities
- Post pictures of pepperoni pizza in Jewish communities
- Make pizza oven related jokes in Jewish communities
- Make jokes about how pizza can feed a family of four in black communities
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- EverQuest II
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Pizza and Beer
is a part of a series on Foods.
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