Pikeys
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A pikey, otherwise known as a Traveller, Gypsy, Gypo, Knacker, Pavee or Tinker is a unevolved member of society, who smells like the carcass of a dead cunt-vomit. Pikeys hail from Ireland, but have travelled as far as East-Engerland. Pikeys, like other carnivores hunt in packs. Their natural habitat is a caravan, while the King of the Travellers is typically found in a larger version called a Mobile Home. Their American equivelent is Trailer Park trash. You can tell the difference between Pikeys & Trailer Park Trash by money (which pikeys have alot of) and teeth (which trailer park trash do not have many of).
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Traveller Traditions
These primitive forms of life, live in caravans (houses with wheels). However, despite having wheels on their homes - The cunts never actually move anywhere. They are known to sell "a bit of carpa" (carpet), fix shit that doesn't need fixing and beat up settled folk for their mobile phones.
Pikeys do not pay tax, but can be seen at the local dole office - sponging free money from tax payers. Pikeys do not adhere to common law, and settle things the old way. The old way usually involves pitchforks, axes and machetes.
Some Pikeys have magically (it involved leprechauns, absinthe and a time paradox) found their way to the United States over the past hundred years and now roam the country in filthy bands. Keeping up with modern times, they now half-ass install aluminum siding on the homes of America's brain-addled elderly.
The Pikey Way
- The Pikey way involves violence.
- Pikey families often inter-breed, which after many a generation has left them all looking very fucking similar.
- Pikeys have 11 sisters, and they have fucked every last one of them.
- Pikeys will fight you for a fiver and carpet your house at the same time.
- Some scientists now believe that there was once only a single 'Proto-Pikey' that reproduced by asexually budding.
- Pikey cuisine is world renown for being almost entirely potato based and only cooked and served in discarded bean tins.
The Pikey Language
The Pikeys have their own language, which is a fecked up hybrid of Irish and English. They also have their own words, which settled man is currently trying to decipher.
- Byore = Young female
- Feen = Young male
- Feek = Fuck (Aka, sexual intercourse)
- Serious = Awesome
- Meet = To make out
Pikeys in popular culture
Pikeys can be seen accurately portrayed by Brad Pitt and all those other hollywood cunts in the movie Snatch.
Quotes
Direct Quotes from a pikey:
| —It's a trick, refer to them as Lloyd |
| —Parents of Pikeys tend not to tell them the origin of children |
| —Preferring AZNs to black |
| —Got mud on yer face, big disgrace |
