Perfect Dark
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Hailed as one of the greatest shooters evar, Perfect Dark is the bisexual sister of Goldeneye. Why do I call it bisexual you ask? Because you get to play as a white woman. Sites such as IGN, Gamespot, and Gamespy gave the game unanimously biased reviews. This is just what the Nintendo fanboys needed to make themselves feel better about their casual-gamer based console.
Contents |
Why It So Good?
It so good because you get to play as a female, something which no gamer has ever seen, evar. However, they will try to cover it up by saying the game is good because of its graphics, gameplay, design and innovative controls, but we all know they're lying. The game's multiplayer mode also was praised, but it was pretty much pointless seeing as gamers have no friends to play it with. Idiot, you can vs bots in multiplayer NOT EVEN BOTS WILL WANT TO PLAY WITH THEM.
Should you ever be unfortunate enough to be in this game's presence, your final solution should be to an hero before it corrupts the glorious youth. Despite it been called "better then Goldeneye", it was outsold by James Bond by 6 million copies. Jesus fucking Christ! It should also be noted that the game is half-baked. Half the guns are stolen from Goldeneye, most of the maps are slightly redesigned versions of Goldeneye, and the plot is essentially the same, but no one plays games for their plots. Besides, if you want to play a game as a female that did it first and better, play fucking Oni by Bungie.
Sequel
Being the trolls that they are, Microsoft decided to arrange a hostile takeover of the company who made the game, Rare. This caused Nintenfags to RAGE because of the fact that this company brought them many delicious games like Banjo-Kazooie, Banjo-Tooie, DK64 and not to mention, Goldeneye.
With this, Bill Gates forced Rare to create a sequel to Perfect Dark so they could cash in on its glory, not like he needs it, faggot. Rare managed to shit out Perfect Dark Zero, a game to be released on the Failbox 360. Although, in a deliciously ironic twist, Rare trolled Microsoft by creating a shit game that could only average 7/10 from game reviewers. Bill then boomheadshotted the CEO of Rare in an act of frustration.
Literature
When a game becomes so popular it has its own series of books, you know something is fucking wrong (refer to Gears of War, Runescape, and Mario). Not surprisingly, this happened after Microsoft took over Rare. The first novel and the second novel can be found here.
See Also
External Links
 |
Perfect Dark is part of a series on Gaming |
| Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
