Orson Scott Card
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
When mormons write science fiction books riddled with references to hitler, and actualy win some prizes for it, you know there's something seriously fucked up in the world. Enter Orson Scott Card, an americunt, who also happens to be a conservative political activist, public speaker, critic and a devout worshipper of Brigham Young. Card is also among the good members of the National Organization for Marriage.
Did I mention his ancestors founded the first canadian mormon settlement, and the he claims to be directly related to the mormon jesus?
He also haets teh gheys, as if a conservative mormon fundamentalist would think otherwise, amirite?
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At least 100 years ago
Orson Scott Card first broke out of his cocoon in Richland, Washington, were he lived his early life as a mormon zergling with his Hydralisks. They would move to Santa Clara, eventualy ending up on Utah. Later he served as a missionary for the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and eventualy he sucked his way up to graduation from the Brigham Young University and the University of Utah, and he also spent a whole year at the University of Notre Dame, a private catholic university in australia, but eventualy failed it. This is at least a bit ironic since the catholic church has condemned the mormon's incestuous, pedophiliac orgies many times in the last few years.
It doesn't take much imagination to realize why a mormon fundamentalist would fail so hard on a university with such a background.
Early Life as a Writer
Orson began his writing career as a poet, studying with his BFF Clinton F. Larson at the Brigham Young University. While he was majoring in theatre, he began adapting works of fiction for theatre productions, because he coudn't write shit by himself (and probably still can't), eventualy ammounting enough copypasta to write his own, one act play. At the same time, he began experimenting with writing fiction, which would later lead to the creation of some shit nobody cares about.
After returning from his LDS mission in Brazil, converting lots of young shota meat to his cult, for use in rituals, he created the Utah Valley Repertory Theatre Company. He managed to occupy some old building behind a mental hospital, were they performed to the audience. This was a very clever manuever of him, because who else would watch a play written by a mormon, other then people who have a few brain cells missing or are a bit off the normal mental health scale? Maybe you.
In 1976, he secured employment as an assistant editor at the Church's official magazine and moved to the mormon mecca.
While working on the maganize, he also published his first work of fiction, but no one noticed because anyone who reads a maganize about religion is so used to fictional bullshit that they don't see the difference anymore.
Ender's Game
During the early years of his career, Card came up with his first work of science fiction: A novel about a /v/irgin playing a vydia gaem which was created to train him to war. According to his fans, it is a mark of science fiction genius, but to the informed, intelligent citizens among us, its a huge load of shit mashed up together with over 9000 references to Hitler, and why we should forgive him for skinning a bunch of jews alive. No, really.
The book is set in Earth's future, apparently the brave forces of the imperium of man have been throughouly pwned by a insectoid alien race also known as "the buggers". In preparation for an anticipated third invasion, some foreign school has created a program to train children into able fleet commanders. The world's most talented children, including the novel's protagonist Ender Wiggin, are taken at a very young age to a training facility in the middle of nowhere known as the battle school. There, they are trained by their teachers in the arts of war through increasingly difficult games including ones undertaken in zero gravity in the Battle Room where Ender's tactical genius is revealed.
Eventualy they end up establishing a mormon boot camp on the alien world, just to find out they were long gone before they even arrived, but they find an unborn formian queen which Ender can communicate through telepathy. The queen tells him how the formians saw the true nature of humanity and shat their pants over it, eventualy disbanding. He realizes they left this queen behind for him to find it, and find out the formians just stopped caring and went home to their aunties and uncles in another world.
Apparently, according to some distinguished individuals, Card makes an apology to hitler, and with the last bit, how all the killing is forgivable because he was just doing it to protect his people. This is of course wrong because its not forgivable because he was trying to protect his peers, but because he was trying to rid the world of the jewish menace.
Religion
As it has been mentioned over 9000 times already, Orson Scott Card is a mormon, but not any kind of mormon. He claims to be descended from the founders of the mormon church itself, despite the fact there being no visible evidence of such thing.
This is only laughable, because who would go as far as lying just to say he descends from a fat, greasy, shit ridden, hook nosed archeologist who claimed to the scientific community to have found magical relics?
Card is also criticised by his mormon peers for writing science fiction, because everyone knows all mormons are creationists, which is even moar ironic since all the other christian churches never get tired of pointing out that mormons corrupted the bible's teachings into different ideas just so they could marry lolis and have delishus orgies with their multiple, softned up, kitchen dwelling redneck wives.
He also uses his religious background to justify his endless haet for teh gheys
On Homosexuality
As any christian fundamentalist, Card cannot bear the fact godless sodomites are eventualy going to have the same rights as him. However, unlike the good members of the Westboro Baptist Church, who express their feelings towards the buttsecks loving folk in an enternaining way, instead card, like all mormons, tries to sound serious while doing it, causing everybody to find them unfunny and stop caring about what they say.
| —Orson Scott Card, Sounding like a good ol' intolerant mormon, and not realizing nobody would ever take a mormon fundamentalist science fiction writer seriously. |
TL;DR we're better then fags cause we jam it in vagoos instead of sticking it in the pooper.
On The Internet
Unsurprisingly, like other science fiction writers, Orson Scott Card is also involved in a fair ammount of internet drama, including, but not limited to, youtube faggotry:
The interbutts is not only the place where his critics and ex-fans express their feelings for his work, but also were his colleagues describe his true nature:
Taken from a kuro5hin article found here -> [1]. <- Read it, srsly
| —localroger, Showing us the true nature of the science fiction fandom. |
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External Links
His official site, troll at will.
Article quoted on the previous one.
