Ebonics
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Ebonics, better known as nigger speak, is a language spoken by poor urban black people and middle-class white boys, many of them being 13 year old in an effort to convince others that they are not middle-class white boys. It's been said that they have been infected by The Black.
The Ebonics language is taught as part of the curriculum, as a foreign language, in California schools.
Although its origins are uncertain, there is scientific evidence from the future that Ebonics really comes from people trying to speak English with a French accent, but only funnier and cooler in their minds, (which still belong to the Matrix).
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E-bonics
A variation of the above in which niggaspeak is combined with leetspeak to an even worse effect. This results in screen names like ThugL1f34Eva, B1tch514pp3r and Undaprivilegedminorit33.
IRL example courtesy of Bebo:
wAd It Be iTs yA gAl pEaNuT Im So RaNdOm u NeVa KnO wAt U gOn GeT i DnT bE oN kNo PlAy pLaY Im KoO tO bE aRoUnD i LuV tO pArTy N dRiNk.....Im hAvIN a PaRtY iTs GoN bE sO fReSh AlL HaTaZ pLz CoMe oThEr WiSe gEt At cHa GaL pEaNut (say whut?)
Ebonics Translation
When Confronted After Stealing A Pair of Shoes
Standard: "Excuse me, but I purchased these shoes at my local footwear retailer, and I'll thank you very much to keep quiet about how I obtained them."
Ebonics: SHIIIT NIKKUH I BOUGHT DEEZ FRUSH AZZ KICKS. BITCH ASS CRACKA
Meeting Girls
Standard: Hm! Quite an attractive young lady, isn't she?
Ebonics: DAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYUUUUUM LOOK AT DAT FINE ASS BITCH, SHE GOTTA STRAIGHT UP GHETTO BOOTY, I'MMA FUCK THAT HOE.
Standard: "My you're a lovely young lady."
Ebonics: "DAMMMN!!! Yousa fine motha fucka!"
Standard: "Let's go for a ride shall we?"
Ebonics: "Hey baby, jump in ma low rider and rotate dees tires."
Standard: "You are beautiful. I would like to make love to you."
Ebonics: "Damn bitch you stupid fly, lemme pull up that bumpa and smack dat munkey."
See below
When Asking A Girl on A Date
Standard: "Would you like to go out sometime?"
Ebonics: *there is no translation, as niggers do not engage in foreplay, or any sort of mating ritual, in most cases, the male will forcibly rape the female.*
Greeting Old Friends
Standard: "Hello Sir."
Ebonics: "WHADDUP DAWG!"
Alternative Ebonics: WUZZZ GOOD, NIGGA?! (WUT IT DO?)
Asking to borrow some cash
Standard: "May I borrow some money?"
Ebonics: "Hey lemme hold some ends, I'll hit you back on de first ma brotha"
Standard: Dad, could you please spare me some money? I am going to dinner with my girlfriend.
Ebonics: EH YO POPS, AHYUZZ NEED SOME GREEN, GOTTA BUY SUMDIN NICE FO MAH HO YA DIG POPS?
After Being Denied To Borrow Some Cash
Standard: You don't have it? Thanks anyway.
Ebonics: *BLAP BLAP*
Alternative Ebonics: £$?%!*&$% YOU!!!!!
Standard: I think I will use my good credit for this loan.
Ebonics: NUGA I NEED DEM DUCKETS WATCHU MEENN "FINANCIAL OBLIGATIONS?" YALL TRYNA TELL ME MAH CREDIT AINT GOOD NIGGA? FINE, ISS' ON NOW, RAP BEAT NIGGA
Meeting new people
Standard: "Hello Sir."
Ebonics: "WHADDUP!?!?!?"
Standard: "I admire your fashionable running shoes."
Ebonics: "DROP DEM NIKES OFF YO ASS 'FO I BLAST YOU MOTHAFUCKA!!"
When Sexuality Taken Into Question
Standard: I am absolutely puzzled as to where you heard that, but I can assure you, I am not a homosexual.
Ebonics: WUT?! NIGGA, WHERE DA FUCK DID U HURD DAT FROM? I AIN'T GAY, MOTHAFUCKA!
When Threatened
Standard: You had better relax or I will be forced to defend myself
Ebonics: WUT DA FUCK DID YOU SAY TO ME?! *to fellow nigger in the background* DID YOU HURR WHA DAT NIGGA SAID TO ME? HE BEST STEP BACK DAWG OR I'LL BUST A CAP IN HIS MOTHAFUCKIN AYIZZ, KNOWHADIMSAYN?!!
When Threatening
Standard: Leave now, or unfortunately I will be left with no other choice than to physically eject you.
Ebonics: NIGGA YOU GOT 1 SEC TO GET DA FUCK OUT BEFO I KNOCK DAT GRUULL OUCH YO DAMN MOUF, KNOWHADIMSAYN?!! IMMA GET MUH CHOPPA AND START BLASTIN CAPS IN YO FAGGOT ASS, YA DIG BOY?!?!
When confronting someone who is lying
Standard: You're lying. Tell the truth.
Ebonics: NIGGA DROP DAT BULLSHIT BEFO I'MMA POP DA TRUNK ON YO BITCH ASS NIGGA, GET MAH MOHFUCKIN UZI UP ON YO TRASH NIGGA
When attempting to sing
Standard: My frozen dairy treat brings all the gentlemen to my front lawn. Some argue that it is superior to yours. Yes, they are correct, it is far superior to yours. I could pass along this knowledge, but there would be a fee.
Ebonics: WATERMELUNZ, WATERMELUNZ, IMMA OUT IN DA FIELDS PICKIN YO COTTON AND WATERMELUNZ, THEN IMMA STOMP YO WHITE ASS IN THE NUTS, HATA'S SAY WHAT, HATA'S SAY WHAT, CAUSE IF YOU HATE ON ME AND MY WATERMELUNZ IMMA STOMP YO ASS IN THE NUTS
When Sharing Camaraderie
Standard: You and I are friends. I hope we can remain best friends forever.
Ebonics: WE THUGZ FO LYF, NIGGA. WE RYDE 2GETHA, WE DIE 2GETHA
Other Translations:
Standard: Whatever.
Ebonics: PSSHHH
Standard: I win!
Ebonics: SUP NOW NIGGA
Standard: What a surprise!
Ebonics: AW SHIT AW SHIT MAN I SEE'D THAT SHIT NIGGA I SEE'D THE WHOLE THING NIGGA YOU SHOULDA SEEN THAT SHIT NIGGA THAT SHIT WAS CRAZY MAN I SEED THAT SHIT WITH MY OWN EYES DAMN THAT SHIT WAS CRAZY NIGGA.
Standard: Do you agree with what I've said?
Ebonics: KNOWWADAHM SAYIN?
Standard: Although you may have been here for less time than me, would you mind directing me to the bathroom?
Ebonics: YO AFRICAIN! WHERE DE SHIT HOLE?!
Standard: Hello kind sir, would you like to light a marijuana plant, and then get carefree with me?
Ebonics: EY YO NIGGUH CUM OVAR HURR AND SMOKE SUM POT WITH ME, GON' GET HAAI KNOWADAM SAYIN'?
Standard: Gotta have my Pops! (Though only to be said by brainwashed nigras)
Ebonics: NIGUGUH GET DAH FUCK'WAY FROMMAH MUDDAFUCKIN' CEREAL. D'HELLZ 'RONGWHICHU BITCH? DAYM, IMA FUCK YO MOMMA SO HAHD UPSIDE DE HEAD, SHE GON BE *SHITTIN* THAT SHIT!
Standard: Oh dear.
Ebonics: Aw SHIT.
Standard: Excuse me kind sir, will you please show your object to me?
Ebonics: LEMME HOLD DAT
Standard: I disapprove of your actions.
Ebonics: IM PRESSIN CHARGES
Standard: "I enjoy the sound made by car exhaust whistle tips." Ebonics: "WHISTLES GO WHOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
Standard: "The chaos theory is a theory that complex natural systems obey rules but are so sensitive that small initial changes can cause unexpected final results, thus giving an impression of randomness."
Ebonics: "SUP DAWG LEMME TELL YO SUMMAT BRO NIGGUH CUM OVAR HURR I SEE'D THE WHOLE THING HATA'S SAY WHAT WOOP WOOP"
How Do I Spoke Ebonics?
Fortunately, niggers usually only niggerbabble to eachother when they apparently seem to understand what the other is saying. However, they occasionally try to niggerbabble to humans and you may encounter one trying to niggerbabble to you. In that case, it is advisable to take a defensive posture (as always when confronted with a wild animal) and ask him to repeat himself as slowly and clearly as possible. If he niggerbabbles incoherently to you again, try the following response: "I don't have an extra cigarette, I'm not interested in buying illegal drugs, and I don't have spare change, and I don't know where the nearest KFC is located. If you're trying to rob me, I have a loaded .45 in my pocket and I'll blow your nigger head off." No matter what the nigger was trying to convey, that usually covers all bases.
Video Examples
Subtitles are essential.
Bill Cosby on Ebonics
Complete Lexicon
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Ebonics is part of a series on Language & Communication. |
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Ebonics is part of a series of topics related to Black People. ☻ |
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