Ebonics

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This is a clear indication of a Class VI infection of The Black.

Ebonics, better known as "nigger speak", is a language spoken by poor urban blacks and middle-class white boys, many of them 13 year old boys, in an effort to convince others that they are not middle-class white boys. They are said to have been infected by The Black.

THIS IS HOW WE DO, NIGGA.

The Ebonics language is taught as part of the curriculum, as a foreign language, in California schools.

Although its origins are uncertain, there is scientific evidence from the future that Ebonics really comes from people trying to speak English with a French accent, but only funnier and cooler (in their minds, which still belong to the Matrix).

1 E-bonics
2 Ebonics Translation
3 Video Examples
4 Complete Lexicon

[edit] E-bonics

A variation of the above in which niggaspeak is combined with leetspeak to even worse effect. This results in screen names like ThugL1f34Eva, B1tch514pp3r and Undaprivilegedminorit33.

IRL example courtesy of Bebo:

wAd It Be iTs yA gAl pEaNuT Im So RaNdOm u NeVa KnO wAt U gOn GeT i DnT bE oN kNo PlAy pLaY Im KoO tO bE aRoUnD i LuV tO pArTy N dRiNk.....Im hAvIN a PaRtY iTs GoN bE sO fReSh AlL HaTaZ pLz CoMe oThEr WiSe gEt At cHa GaL pEaNut (say whut?)

[edit] Ebonics Translation

When Confronted After Stealing A Pair of Shoes
Standard: Excuse me, but I purchased these shoes at my local footwear retailer, and I'll thank you very much to keep quiet about how I obtained them.
Ebonics: CSSSH NIGGA I BOUGHT DEAZ MAD NICE SHOES!!

When Asking A Girl on A Date
Standard: Would you like to go out sometime?
Ebonic: *there is no translation, as niggers do not engage in foreplay, or any sort of mating ritual, in most cases, the male will forcibly rape the female.*

After Being Denied To Borrow Some Cash
Standard: You don't have it? Thanks anyway.
Ebonics: *BLAP BLAP*

When Sexuality Taken Into Question
Standard: I am absolutely puzzled as to where you heard that, but I can assure you, I am not a homosexual.
Ebonics: WUT?! NIGGA, WHERE DA FUCK DID U HURD DAT FROM? I AIN'T GAY, MOTHAFUCKA!

When Threatened
Standard: You had better relax or I will be forced to defend myself
Ebonics: WUT DA FUCK DID YOU SAY TO ME?! *to fellow nigger in the background* DID YOU HURR WHA DAT NIGGA SAID TO ME? HE BETTER STEP BACK DAWG OR I'LL BUST A CAP IN HIS MOTHAFUCKIN AYIZZ!!

When Threatening
Standard: I recommend that you leave, for if you refuse to make haste with your exit, I'm afraid I will be forced to thrash you.
Ebonics: I'Z GIVE YOU TA ONE TO TAKE YO PUNK FAGGOT ASS OUT, ELSE I PUMP TWO IN YA HEAD N' FO' IN YO AZZ!!!

When confronting someone who is lying
Standard: Please you're such a Liar! If you persist I will leave.
Ebonics: NIGGA DROP DAT BULLSHIT BEFO I'MMA POP DA TRUNK ON YO BITCH ASS NIGGA, GET MAH MOHFUCKIN UZI UP ON YO BITCH ASS NIGGA

When attempting to sing
Standard: My frozen dairy treat brings all the male gender to the grassy area in the front of my residence. They say it is superior to yours. Yes, they are correct, it is far superior to yours. I could pass along this knowledge, but there would be a fee.
Ebonics: STOMP EM IN THE NUTS, IMMA STOMP EM IN THE NUTS, HATA'S SAY WHAT, HATA'S SAY WHAT, CAUSE IF YOU HATE ON ME IMMA STOMP EM IN THE NUTS

When Sharing Camaraderie
Standard: You and I are friends. I hope we can remain best friends forever.
Ebonics: WE THUGZ FO LYF, NIGGA. WE RYDE 2GETHA, WE DIE 2GETHA

Other Translations:
Standard: Whatever.
Ebonics: PSSHHH

Standard: I find that girl quite visually pleasing, do you not agree?
Ebonics: I WUNN GET DAT HOE U KNO WHAT IM SAYIN MUH NIGGA??!?!

Standard: Hello, friend!
Ebonics: WUZZZ GOOD, NIGGA?!

Standard: I think I will use my good credit for this loan.
Ebonics: NNUGA I NEED THEMS DUCKETS WATCHU MEENN "FINANCIAL OBLIGATIONS?" YALL TRYNA TELL ME MAH CREDIT AINT GOOD NIGGA? FINE, ISS' ON NOW, RAP BEAT NIGGA

Standard: I win!
Ebonics: SUP NOW NIGGA

Standard: What a surprise!
Ebonics: AW SHIT AW SHIT MAN I SEE'D THAT SHIT NIGGA I SEE'D THE WHOLE THING NIGGA YOU SHOULDA SEEN THAT SHIT NIGGA THAT SHIT WAS CRAZY MAN I SEED THAT SHIT WITH MY OWN EYES DAMN THAT SHIT WAS CRAZY NIGGA.

Standard: Do you agree with what I've said?
Ebonics: YOU KNAW'MEAN?

Standard: Although you may have been here for less time than me, would you mind directing me to the bathroom?
Ebonics: YO AFRICAIN! WHERE DE SHIT HOLE?!