Net Neutrality
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Commonly known as "the biggest lie ever told" (second to On the Origin of Species), Net Neutrality is a buzzword that was invented by internet savvy jackasses who are obvious masters of the internets to pacify the bleeding-heart stupid liberal furries that are under the illusion that any one gives a crap about what they think. "I oppose those who oppose net neutrality!", you might hear from those who don't know an anus from a black hole. Dream on, packet peon. Not only have you no say in the matter, your monthly access payment helps fund the effort of those who do. How do you like them ironic apples?
[edit] What the fuck is Net Neutrality?
[edit] The Conspiracy
While it is popularly told that Al Gore invented the internets, the only thing he ever invented was global warming. Al Gore is simply a faceman for the Illuminati, and the internets was truly invented by the Illuminati to control the flow of information to the world.
Go to Google and search for "French Military Victories" and hit "I'm feeling lucky" to see it in action. Proof positive of the Illuminati's brutal oppression of the truth at work.
However it's important to note that Net Neutrality is most likely propagated, if not invented by the Jews. As it is well known that the jews are responsible for everything bad in the world that has ever happened, or will ever happen. It is even proposed by some that net neutrality it self may be solidified jew angst over only having been able to pull off 9/11 once. (moar liek net JEWtrality, amirite?)
[edit] The Methods
The Illuminati and Jews want nobody to know of their plots, lest their entire power base collapse. Usually, this means the utilization of hooded enforcers to make dissenters disappear at night. They have also awoken sleeper agents in governing bodies. You may find it necessary to sleep with a nightstick under your pillow to ward off hooded enforcers.
Also related is bandwidth throttling, in which ISPs attempt to scream "poverty" due to t3h haxx0rz clogging up all the Internet tubes and threatening National Security. Notable cases include Comcast and more notably Cox, but only because of their name. Nobody actually cares about this, except the ISPs, because pr0n is easier to find than your mom, and that's all the net is for anyway. Besides, anyone with a degree in Computer Science III already knows how to encrypt their traffic.
[edit] The Conspiracy Against Myself
They're going to neutralize my internet!? How infuriating. I cannot let this stand...
[edit] Virgins vs Virgin: The Resistance
Last Thursday, the CEO of Virgin Media announced that he wasn't even going to pretend to maintain net neutrality. Like a butthurt 13 year old boy, he said it was "bullocks" which gives him the right to sell our interbutt however he sees fit. He plans to make sponsored sites load faster. Guaranteed, the chans and ED will slow down for Britfags now (but who cares, amirite?). No one cares for the British, not even the British.
hawt bitch with awesome tits says "net neutrality bad".
Even wannabe Britfag Madonna is involved in this epic war.
[edit] Overview
Some internet content providers are causing users to use more than 20% of the service they pay for, thus lowering profits. This is a classic example of the lawyer and accountants takeover.
Old Internet (Net Neutrality) = You pay for what you use.
- You pay ISP/BACKBONE to download/upload to internet content providers.
- Internet content providers pay ISP/BACKBONE to download/upload to users.
- Not a big truck.
NO Net Neutrality = We all pay twice:
- You pay ISP/BACKBONE to download/upload to internet content providers.
- Internet content providers will have to charge you for usage.
- Internet content providers pay ISP/BACKBONE to download/upload to users.
- Internet content providers pay ISP/BACKBONE to compensation for causing users to use more than 20% of the service they pay for.
- Not a series of tubes.
ISP/BACKBONE win because it's the law.
[edit] External Links
THE PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO FUCK US ALL
ONLY YOU CAN STOP VIRGINS FROM FUCKING OUR INTERNET
Categories: Crap | Law
