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Nerd

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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a typical nerd looking at porn in mom's basement
a typical nerd looking at porn in mom's basement

A nerd is essentially an ugly, anthropophobic luser, often fat and / or a basement-dweller, who is obsessed with and quite knowledgeable about a particular, non-mainstream hobby. In practice they are essentially like geeks, except that they are even less socially adjusted. Thus, unlike geeks, nerds are notoriously easy to pick out of a crowd — one need only listen for the person who is prattling on endlessly about a subject of little interest to anyone else, or who only wears t-shirts that they purchased at last week's convention. They also just so happen to fail it at socializing (except perhaps with other attendees of said convention). If you are reading this article, then you are a nerd. This is doubly true if you have ever edited.


Contents


The Nerd Kingdom

Typical nerd fixing his PC to watch furry porn
Typical nerd fixing his PC to watch furry porn
Why we can't kill them...
Why we can't kill them...

The term "nerd" is merely the genus of a vast variety of social degenerates; there exist, under the broad categorization of the term, many species of nerd that are determined based on collective nicknames. A nerd who is obsessed with masturbating to pictures of scantily-clad elves in their parents' basement is a role-playing nerd, for example, whereas a nerd is who is obsessed with Encyclopedia Dramatica and LJDrama is a drama whore nerd. Nerds that spend all their time immersed in a particular canon work or fandom are fangirls, even if they are male. In this latter instance, fangirls are divided up even further based on their chosen fandom — Star Trek nerds are called "Trekkies", Lord of the Rings nerds are called "Ringers", and so on. Other major nerd species include, but are not limited to, nerds who compulsively update their OL journals (alternately called "bloggers" and LJ users); nerds who spend all their time writing slashfic ("slashers"); nerds who go to every convention in a 1,000-mile radius ("regulars"); nerds who cannot get off without looking at girls being raped by tentacles ("otaku", or sick fucks); and nerds who live out their fantasy lives through bad fanfic writing ("Suethors"). Some nerds just know, through some mystical sense that they can quite put their finger on, that they are very special. If they are lucky enough to be the children of new age hippies, they might be labeled Indigo Children.

Warhammer Nerds

Warhammer Nerds are like any other nerds in the way that they have no hope of ever getting laid, but they are also different because they contribute to society. Warhammer Nerds contribute to society because they have high paying jobs due to their need for money for Warhammer where each plastic tank costs at least $70.

This makes Warhammer different from other nerd activities like World of Warcraft where 40 year old virgins in their parents' basements not doing any work for society. Warhammer Nerds work for the greater good by leaving their houses, getting jobs, and rapidly advancing the career ladder to get $300 for a plastic artillery battery.

Many Warhammer Nerds play Warhammer 40,000.

Political Nerds

There is nothing worse than coming across a Political Nerd. Political nerds believe they are unquestionable political pundits despite a lack any knowledge of the topic at hand. Often the extent of their political knowledge is from a post by someone on a forum or a video created as a joke. Over 9000 nerds are libertarians.

The Hierarchy

Nerd hierarchy - courtesy of Jump

Mating Habits

A prime example of Wikipedia Nerd.
A prime example of Wikipedia Nerd.

Nerds have no mating habits since they are incapable of copulation.

However, they do have vestigial behaviors related to mating in their evolutionary past which had something to do with watching explosions in space.

The Nerd version of a wet dream.

Nerds on YouTube

The typical nerd... expressing daily life.

King of Nerds

Rob (known as Seto Kaiba on his Yi-Gi-Oh site) is the true king of nerds. As the admin of Seto-Kaiba.com, he spends countless hours tending to his website and pretending not to still enjoy a dead card game/children's cartoon. He is not JUST a nerd. He is also a large childcare enthusiast. He has a girlfriend, but she's mentally retarded, so she doesn't really count.

LOL IM SUCH A NERD "nerd"

Faggots that find it.. cool to call themselves "nerds". Fact 1- They are never nerds. Fact 2- Their breath usually smells like pee. Go on AIM, and talk to a chick. Its all going so well, but than you ask her what she's doing. She responds "Im reading Wikipedia. LOL IM SUCH A NERD" You than respond with a simple "lol" which really means, you are the most average, non-interesting, fuckup I have ever talked to.

Gallery of Nerd

Gallery of Nerd

Related Articles

No son, they won't.
No son, they won't.

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