Nazi

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

(Redirected from Nazism)

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HOLY SHIT GODWIN'S LAW!!!1

It's an ancient pagan symbol for the sun, rebirth, and good luck!

Your typical Nazi

totally not gay

A Nazi is a member of the National Socialist German Worker's Party irl trolling clan and a follower of its ideology. Nazis came to power in Germany at least 100 years ago under the wise leadership of Adolf Hitler. For teh lulz, they went and took over Europe and killed Over 9,000 Jews. Because of this, Nazis are pure evil and you must show your support of all things Nazi at every given opportunity. If anyone shows the slightest interest in the Third Reich in history or National Socialism as a political theory, or even spiffy uniforms, you must assist them in any way possible.

[edit] Nazi Ideology

It's the Jews' fault. All of it. Lose a war? Jews. Country in a massive economic depression? Jews. Can't escape this overwhelming feeling of powerlessness and futility? Jews. Step in some dog crap? Jew dog. It's all simple. The only effective weapon against the Jewish threat is the righteous Aryan nations rallying under Adolf Hitler. Hitler is awesome and Hitler will solve all your problems.

To properly live as a Nazi, one must constantly wear the right sexy uniform. Men must be clean, live well and be totally not gay. Women must make healthy Aryan babies. Lots and lots of healthy Aryan babies. Women have only one good hole so they should keep it in top shape!

[edit] Other Famous Nazis

The facial expression NEVAR changes

[edit] Heinrich Himmler

Look out, Li'l Joe! Göring's gonna eechoo!

Reichsführer of the SS and all of its aspects. No successful organization is complete without a totally obsessed, hard-working aspie and Heinrich Himmler was Hitler's favorite aspie. His hobbies included gardening, Neo-Pagan mysticism, serving his Führer, and genocide. Before joining the Nazis he farmed chikkinz, LOL.

[edit] Martin Bormann

Personal secretary to the Führer, and as such had total control of his life: Every piece of information and request that went to the Führer was vetted by him - and every order out was too, and was called by some the real Führer. Some people believe that he went missing, others say that right about the end, his Führer got scared And said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air. He whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything he could say that this cab was rare But he thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo home to Bel-Air! He pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and he yelled to the cabby yo holmes smell ya later. Looked at his kingdom finally there. To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.

[edit] Joseph Goebbels

Propaganda Minister and official emo child of the 3rd Reich. A long mysterious childhood illness left him with a limp and standing only about 5 ft. tall and weighing only about 100 pounds soaking wet, thus making him ideal for storing in tight spaces as well as totally and unrepentantly KAWAII. He was totally ghey for Hitler, so much so that together they proved their emosity and made a suicide pact that just so happened to also include Goebbels's wife and six kids.

[edit] Hermann Göring

After being a major aviation hero in the First World War, he joined the National Socialist movement, pissed off the government and got briefly exiled to Sweden. There, he got addicted to morphine and became a raging fatass. He returned to Germany and became president of the Reichstag under Hitler and Field Marshall of one of the greatest air forces in history and still got pwned by the RAF.

Reinhard Heydrich. He's Aryaner than you.

[edit] Reinhard Heydrich

Eva Braun reacts to Hitler's cock

Nazis love animals and the earth

Chief of the Gestpo and SD spy network. He was and still is by many considered to be a symbol of the perfect Nazi. He was tall, handsome and very Aryan, an accomplished violinist and fencer, and all-around alpha male who would sleep with your girlfriend and have you arrested for faggotry. Also the one prominent Nazi who very likely may have been part Jew. LOL, irony. Actually, this makes sense because Heydrich had a knack for orchestrating fake attacks for his own personal political gain.

[edit] Eva Braun

Hitler's personal cumslut.

[edit] Rudolf Hess

King of eyebrows. He was Hitler's right-hand man up until the eve of the invasion of Russia when he decided to fly to England and try negotiating a peace settlement without telling anybody. Hitler was not amused. The next time Hess made a major public appearance he was on trial at Nuremberg, counting his fingers repetitively and laughing at inappropriate moments.
Hess's views on the whole incident: page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Toothy gap of DOOM

[edit] Blondi

Hitler's canine companion. Proof that getting a dog doesn't always work. This also fuelled rumors about Hitler preferring furries to his wife Eva. More rumors also state that Blondi was actually a fur coat for his beloved Mudkips.

[edit] Josef Mengele

A true pioneer in doing it for the lulz. Young Josef Mengele was a new doctor happily working away at his genetic research when suddenly the evil spewing from his magnificent toothy gap told him it would be fun to go mutilate Jews in the name of science. Because of his hard work and dedication, the world now knows that you cannot change someone's eye color by injecting them with bleach, that sitting in cold water for a long time will indeed kill you slowly, that people die when you rip out their organs, and that just because you've sewn them together doesn't mean they're siamese twins.

[edit] Modern Nazis

Back in the day, Nazis were supposed to be the apex of humanity. They were educated, cultured and dignified. However, nowadays, if you come across a Nazi, they more likely to resemble out of shape douches who don't resemble anything in Hitler's vision of the future. Most of them try to troll Jews and blacks but they lose credibility when people see how fucking fat and stupid they are. Most of them listen to ICP and huff jenkem because they are poor white trash. If Hitler was alive today and saw his followers he'd shoot himself again.

If desperation had a face....		failstika	fap fap
	Dumb Bitch		All modern day Nazis are fat.
		LOL, silly skinhead, that sort of thing will get you sent to camp!	Most Nazis fap to Ron Paul.

Modern day Nazis and their assorted brethren make for astounding targets for trolling. Dealing with the fact that they have been largely reduced to hapless anachronisms, they tend to band together for shelter in the far corners of the internets. That, plus they're mostly a bunch of drunken idiots who are absolutely convinced that they are 100% right and will quite loudly tell you how right they are. They often fail to realize that racism as a learned behavior, not a deep-seated biological survival instinct, and presenting them with any genetic and racial science newer then 1965 will cause them to promptly shit brix and go into a fit of Righteous Aryan Rage.

Whereas the original Nazis actually maintained their German culture, celebrating, appreciating and reveling in German art, literature and music, modern day Nazis get their culture by listening to a lot of White Power Rock'n'Roll. Never mind the fact that rock'n'roll is essentially African-American folk music borrowed by the White Man, and that "borrowing" something from another culture is the definition of multiculturalism and that Hitler devoted an entire chapter of Mein Kampf describing how the degradation and negrification of Aryan culture would lead to the extinction of the White Man.

Often modern Nazis will tell you how they are not about hate. Because trying to form an All-White purified European culture is all about love and tolerance.

“	We in the National Alliance do believe in freedom and we DO believe in diversity. Not in racial diversity within a given nation-state, of course, but lots of other kinds of diversity: craftsman and farmer, musician and scholar, warrior and statesman, visionary and manager, and so on. We believe in that type of diversity because we believe in freedom.	„
— National Alliance front page

[edit] Other Ways to be a Nazi

Grammar Nazi
Pants Nazi
Feminazi
Scientology
Wikipedian, promoter of fascism and "improvement of the project" over self-esteem.

[edit] Trolling with Nazis

What normal people think all Nazis look like

Say you're interested in National Socialism as a political philosophy
Suggest that the estimated 6 million dead may be exaggerated.
Mention that the Nazis actually did do a few good things for Germany (building the autobahn, saving the country from complete economic collapse, restoring national pride, etc.)
Put a swastika somewhere
Do something vaguely Nazi-ish
Shaving your head automatically makes you a Nazi suspect
srsly, do something with Nazis that isn't 100% NAZIS R BAD and just watch the flames come rolling in

[edit] Typical Response to Trolling with Nazis

“	Quite obviously, the evidence presents approximately 23 million Jews were killed during WWII, and if you don't agree with that you are ignorant.	„
—Ignorant Jew

“	Not gonna lie, this page is more than a little unsettling. I don't excuse those who have reacted to it with equal-yet-opposite hatred, but neither can I blame them. I want to think you don't believe in the things these symbols stand for, but I am not so naive to think it impossible.	„

“	Son of a BITCH! AFTER ALL THE NAZIS PUT THE JEWS AND OTHERS THROUGH, YOU SUPPORT THEM!? YOU'RE NOYHING BUT A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!	„

“	cant unterstand how and why people can be such obsessed with nazis. have you ever thought of all the kz victims for example? are you really so dumb? what are you taught in history there in the US?	„

“	The total estimated human loss of life caused by World War II was roughly 72 million people. The civilian toll was around 47 million, including 20 million deaths due to war related famine and disease. The military toll was about 25 million, including the deaths of about 5 million prisoners of war in captivity. The Allies lost about 61 million people, and the Axis lost 11 million. You are truly brainly if you can symphatize with such a great think like killing people for such a reason .. woke up Nazi	„

“	WTF you bich woke up or go out and find some boyfriend. Actually you so fuck uglly that you have no chance anyway I feel so sorry for you and please dont waste your time with repplying...	„

“	What's the point of being a Nazi if it's completley impossible for you to make a difference in society anymore. Everyone in the world that isn't a nazi hates you and most Nazis are just kids who read a lot about them and act like they do. Either that or they're racist towards jewish people.	„

“	Why can't you have national socialism without the swastikas? And do you hate jews?	„

All of these quotes were taken exclusively from the comments in one DA account

[edit] How to Troll Nazis

What "historical revisionists" think all Nazis look like

Talk about your happy and successful interracial relationship. Be sure to post pics!
mention that the fact that all White girls have a innate, insatiable craving for a big Black cawk that no White man can satisfy.
ask their opinion on Barack Obama
Say that it would be helpful to learn Spanish/Arabic/Chinese in Today's Changing Society.
Ask how the weather is in Russia.
Suggest that their problems in obtaining gainful employment might not have so much to do with Jews and/or niggers and/or illegal immigration but perhaps may have more to do with the word HATE being tattooed across their forehead.
Tell them that Arabs, not Jews did 9/11.
Say that Night by Elie Wiesel is a powerful and magnificent work of literature that everyone in the whole world should read.
Ask why there are mass graves scattered across Eastern Europe full of Jewish bodies and German bullets.
Remind them that the estimated six million dead Jews is only a very rough estimate and that the number may be as high as over eleven million
The only sociologically feasible explanation for the sudden complete disappearance of the traditional Eastern European Jewish way of life is mass extermination
discuss the finer aspects of Heinrich Himmler's speech at Poznan. Bonus points if you mention that Himmler was a total Aspie who eschewed figurative language!
kindly remind them that Fred Leuchter has only a BA in history (not science), has no engineering license, and has been proven wrong by experts with actual engineering degrees.
The holocaust happened and is one of the most widely documented events in history. So get over it, fuckwit.

[edit] The Fascist National Anthem

[edit] Gallery

Das Galerie

Nazis were big on teamwork	Shoving snow down the ass of your fellow soldat, the official pastime of the Wehrmacht	BAWWWW
	Goebbels ist Kawaii!!!!!	cock goes where?
fact

[Collapse Gallery] [Expand Gallery] 0

	Heinrich Himmler being a sexy bitch	Heil Kitty!

			brb, endsieg
Nazis pioneered Caturday.			LOL WUT
Light, love and Jews
	Oh dear god...	Japanese Nazi	Anonanazi
Rastanazi