Redneck

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Your typical Southern Redneck.

Another typical redneck.

Note the condition of the truck, the man on the left bending over for anal sex, and the dirty clothes everyone is wearing.

A redneck is a heavily armed conservative white gentleman, generally from the Southern part of America. When subjected to the company of a normal human being, i.e. anyone who can read, or a black person, they become highly agitated, and beat their wives. Their society is illiterate, and their main cultural activities include finding creative uses for their bathtubs, improving their figures through drinking, and providing insightful viewpoints on the role of diversity in America today.

Incidentally, most furries are rednecks (and vice versa).

You can learn more about rednecks from watching the movie "Deliverance."

Redneck Sports

Rednecks watch sports frequently, but never actually play any sports, as this would ruin the ideal redneck body type. Their sports of choice include drinking, drinking, drinking NASCAR and incest. Rednecks play American football, which is similar to European rugby, except that it is played by gorillas and retards. Perhaps the most popular activity among Rednecks are Oxycontin eating contests. Rednecks also enjoy creative alternative sports, as seen here [1]

Rednecks and motor sports

Unlike most northerners whom are raised around normal things such as football, baseball, hockey, basketball, etc. Hillbillies grow up watching NASCAR, dirt bike racing, NHRA drag racing, tractor pulls, monster trucks, boat racing, and any kind of sporting event which involves some type of motorized vehicle. Their cultural fascination with motor sports is believed to be because most of them were born in the back seats of automobiles, or in the beds of pickup trucks, to unwed, teenage mothers whom were taking Oxycontin and Xanax during their pregnancy. With their fathers actually being their cousins, and often distantly related to some vague NASCAR driver or some other auto-racing "athlete."

Redneck Slang

Rednecks made Microsoft Words.

GIT R DOOOOOOOOONE.

"J'ever done gone'n getted that thar thang you was gonna git from the catalog?"

Loosely translated, this means "Did you receive the item which you ordered from the catalog?" A catalog is a form of old media. It is similar to eBay, but printed on paper and sent to everybody's house through the mail, another form of old media. Also, a catalog does not have the possibility of a bidding war where the price of an item escalated to over 9000 times its actual value and could be bought by nobody.

Common Redneck Sayings and Translation

Makin da laf durn = We are guiding our automotive vehicle to the left.
Relo mah boomstick = Please place more of your ammunition into my handheld firearm.
Gettin my cusin done 'n' watchin the daytona 5 hundrurd = I am taking my lovely wife on a honeymoon.
I goin to skol to do da numba lernin = I am on my way to a learning institution to be educated in mathematics.
I grajadated da keendrgaden = I have attained the highest level of formal education so far of any member of my family.
Shucks, ah dun hit a skunk = I have accidentally acquired a source of sustenance for our upcoming meal.
I goin warsh my bigol truck = I am going to cleanse my automobile.
HOW BOUT DEM DAWGZ! = Might I remind you of the University of Georgia's football team, the Georgia Bulldogs? (and the university of washington calls themselves the dawgs, too. self-explanatory)
WEEEEEEE-HOOOOOOOO! = I believe alchoholic beverages vastly enhance the entertainment gathered from this televised racing event.
Gaddang ah gotta cut mahh grayass! = I can no longer access my automobile.
YER DUN GONE TO THEM THERE MRVER THEETRES THAR DUN DONTOUN? = Excuse me, but are you going to go to the cinematic theaters for motion picture viewing that is located in the southermost part of this fair city?
WOWOWWEE IDUN FOUN A C'GGY IN MAH ASSCRACK WOOOWEEE!! = By some strange circumstance, I have found a cigarette in the divide of my buttocks
I DUN BY YYEERRHAWW NOBOYAWAJAABBATHAT DONE YAHOOWHODADDY DEMRFHR!! = The chaos theory is a theory that complex natural systems obey rules but are so sensitive that small initial changes can cause unexpected final results, thus giving an impression of randomness.
HEAVEN SURE IS PRETTY!! = shoot the niggers

Redneck Mating

Your average redneck. a.k.a. warners sister.

Your average redneck Myspace profile.

A redneck ocean liner.

Main article: Redneck Mating.

Since many rednecks come from small country towns in the US, there is a limited pool of eligible people to mate with. Many rednecks thus marry their sibling or their cousin. This results in more retarded children, who grow up to be rednecks and do likewise. There seems to be no way to break this vicious cycle. This population expansion in the redneck communities results in the Republicans winning elections.

How do I know if I'm a redneck?

Don't worry, the fact that you are able to access the Internet means that you are most likely not a redneck. Also, in order to be a redneck, you must first possess several of the following items:

A rusty wheelbarrow
A pickup truck.
A "Dixie" horn.
A banjo
4 foot tall CB whip antenna on your truck, during and after hunting season.
Miscellaneous car parts in your overgrown yard.
At least one car on cinder blocks.
A tractor, especially if you don't live on a farm.
A beagle or collection of miscellaneous dogs underneath your trailer.
A collection of Elvis 45's.
A Lynyrd Skynyrd shirt.
A hatred of blacks, Jews, orientals and towelheads because they keep bringing the white man down.
A flannel shirt.
A "The South Shall Rise Again" bumper sticker and/or a confederate flag vinyl sticker covering your back windows on the above mentioned truck.
A turkey fryer.
Six toes, due to rampant inbreeding.
If you understand what the hell Larry the cable guy is actually saying. Extra points if you actually find him funny.
If you associate the word fag with Jeff Gordon.
An attraction to your sister.
A shiny new car while your house looks like utter shit.
At least one Git-R-Done t-shirt; bonus points if you cut the sleeves off.
At least 100 no trespassing/keep out signs nailed all over your bajillion acre land.
Any sort of $7 obnoxious singing toy from Walmart
Guns.
At least one country album and you actually listen to it. Bonus points if you have a bluegrass album.
A beer belly

The gentleman below holds the standing record as the dumbest redneck that has ever existed. Note that he sympathizes with furries, but hates Arabs:

More of his furfaggotry.

“	They think their getting lulz out of me when im really getting alot of lulz over this. God I love ED. Nice try trolls. Youll have to do better than this.	„
—headsooter5 on discovering his video was here, a bulletin he posted

Redneck TV

The Fascination with Hunting

Rednecks hunt in hunting clubs located in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere. This allows the typical redneck male increased freedom to engage in group sex with other men at the clubhouse and out in the wild with the animals, much like furries. Most rednecks hunt for the imaginary shock value of this now outdated pastime. Some however must hunt for their food because the government has cruelly deprived them of their driver's licenses for driving creatively, and the local Winn-Dixie just closed the meat department due to aids.

Gallery

I CAN SHOOT DOWN THAT ANNOYING ASS TRAFFIC HELICOPTER THAT ALWAYS WAKES US UP NOW.	A prime example of what occurs when a redneck is allowed into society; note the feigned education, "rustic" tone, and most importantly, the colloquial stature.	A redneck god.	A redneck snowplow.
A typical redneck date.	Typical rednack gathering. Note the gimp splayed out in the background for communal use.	hawt.	An average redneck girl 10 A.M. Sunday Morning.
Sample of image style found in a Redneck porn collection.	A typical redneck couple.		Disney's version of a redneck
The closest thing Canada has to them!	Rhodesian redneck.	Multitasking, Texas-style.	Inbred redneck movie star
what every redneck aspires to be	Hillbilly and dog. The dog is on the left.