Moderator

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In the world of Internet fora and messageboards, "moderators" (often abbreviated to "mods") are the equivalent of policemen. Ranking just below administrators, they are assigned the task of ensuring the rules of the forum that they "moderate" are rigidly adhered to by the rank-and-file board membership while at the same time wilfully ignoring these rules themselves. Given special powers by the board's administrators to assist them in this endeavour, it is common for these powers to be abused at a whim, and when the inevitable howls of protest follow, to use these same powers to silence dissent. In a nutshell instant fagatory

Contents 1 Types of moderators 2 The Moderators' Creed 3 Mod powers 4 Actual moderator quotes 5 See Also

[edit] Types of moderators

Broadly speaking, moderators can be divided into the following categories;

1. Passive moderators - this type of mod rarely posts on the board in question and will often lurk unseen in the shadows, hiding their online status, until such time as they need to wield their power despite being largely unknown to the community.
2. Vigilantes - actively cruise every thread, editing or deleting posts that are vaguely interesting or controversial, so as to maintain a general atmosphere of stagnation on the board. Most commonly found on specialist fora (e.g. car fora).
3. Fucking hopeless - the most dangerous of all, showing precious little awareness of how to do their job. This incompetence often manifests itself in such forms as ensuring that new members are watchfully policed and ruthlessly suppressed by recourse to, amongst other things, the Law of the Post Count (see below).
4. Teh popular ones - These are the mods that were appointed to their positions either by sucking off the administrator or they have n00dz floating somewhere. These are usually camwhores who you often wonder how they balance the life of being a myspace whore and a incompetent mod. Often they don't do anything except be really bitchy to n00bs and post their pictures in the Member's photos thread wanting to be dickfed attention.
5. The RL faggot - These are a rare breed of mod, but every once in a while, an admin takes a liking to these ladyboy traps and decides it's time for a promo. While "Teh popular ones" type of mod thinks she is in control, it's actually the "RL faggot" that proves the most dangerous (and also the most likely to be the resident "drama queen"). Expect them to get in nice and cozy with an admin, and secretly be their personal bitch. We don't want to imply who the real bitch is however, since generally it's the ladyboy that becomes the most "persuasive" when it comes to decision making. If you try to pwn them for their epic failures as a mod, they'll automatically show their faggotry by pulling the gay card. Beware of this, but it's still epic lulz.
6. **ULTRA RARE** The laid back mod - These are the few and proud moderators who were former trolls and decided to balance being a troll and being a good forum user and ended up somehow getting picked to be moderators.They usually don't jump into forum raids right away because a part of them would like to see the epic lulz in action.They usually don't care much about spam and stupid new members and its rare for them to get motivated to ban someone.The admins hate these type of mods and like to often find ways to replace them with more of the types described above.

[edit] The Moderators' Creed

Almost without exception, moderators will operate under the following guidelines;

1. What's good for the goose is definitely not good for the gander - in short, established board members are allowed to rip the piss out of n00bs but should the n00b under fire actually fight back and start winning, a mod will step in (often by locking the thread, see "Mod powers" below) before the established member starts losing too much face.
2. Law of the Post Count - an unwritten internet law that states that the likelihood of a poster being moderated, regardless of the merits or otherwise of their post, is inversely proportional to their relative post count. The Law also states that the truthiness of any post is directly proportional to the post count of its creator.
3. This Is Not A Democracy - a phrase invoked when a moderator has been seriously pwned for making a crap decision, and will not (or, more likely, cannot) justify the decision in public.
4. I'll see how I feel - a decision made by a moderator does not have to be consistent, but instead will often be arrived at through gut instinct and with absolutely no regard to whether or not a forum rule has been breached. Can often result in double standards, a basic requirement for any self-respecting forum.
5. Lets just take this to PM - When a moderator has been called out for being a faggot and a nazi. Rather then face the masses and actually admit to being an epic failure, they hide behind the cozy barrier of a PM and hide from the public like bitches.

[edit] Mod powers

There are a variety of tools that a moderator can employ in order to carry out his or her duties efficiently. These range from the basic (editing of posts, maybe even deleting of posts) to the advanced (locking of threads, avatar and signature alteration).

These powers are there to be routinely abused; for example, a thread can be locked yet some moderators will still post on it regardless, denying a basic right of reply to the OP or the poster who apparently caused the thread to be locked in the first place.

As a result, moderators are often some of the worst (or best, depending on your point of view) internet trolls, which doesn't stop them from accusing others of trolling at every opportunity. Should a moderator start losing an argument on a thread, they will often use the aforementioned powers in order to attempt to beat a dignified retreat. Either that, or go running to the admin.

[edit] Actual moderator quotes

"Pap. Locked. Dunk."

"I had a quick look through that link, and the thread is something that I'd rather not associate with the board, so am going to delete it. This is not a personal attack on you, but that kind of stuff doesn't really help with some things I am working on for the board for which I have invested a lot of time and effort." - sent in a PM. The link was to a thread of a scammer being well and truly pwned after being outed as a sex offender.

"Rizzle pizzle" - posted just before locking a thread

"Underage b&" - Dancube (4chan moderator) posted this after banning some kid... oh the irony.

[edit] See Also

• ED's list of admins
• Unwarranted self importance