Mix Hyena
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
Mix Hyena is a whiny furry douchebag who defies stereotypes by being grotesquely thin instead of grotesquely fat. Mix exists in such a constant state of butthurt that even other furries can’t stand him, but it's not his fault because he has Assburgers and thus free license to be a tard. Because of his handicap, Mix gets to live rent-free with his furfag friends and they're not allowed to complain because that would be fursecution.
This gave rise to the brief forced meme "Who Gave Mix a Ride?," which started because Mix somehow managed to keep showing up at their skritchparties despite the fact that no one invited him. This meme, like everything else started by furries, was not funny.
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[edit] Mix trolls a convention
Mix tried to troll famous furry convention Fuckyifforgy 5000 IRL by wearing a "[Something Awful]" shirt and yelling "SOMETHINGAWFUL DOT COM." He wants to be a Something Awful goon because he thinks that it's still 2002 and that Something Awful is still funny, but he can't because he is a furry and, as such, a failure in everything he attempts. Amazingly, the furries did not explode in drama at his appearance.
Internet master debater Xydexx commented:
- To be honest, I didn't think he was doing anything really malicious. I mean, he gave me an I <3
- VCL button. That was kinda nice. The worst he did at AC was exercise poor judgment, that's all.
- Everyone makes mistakes.
Mix thus has the distinction of being the only person ever to fail in an attempt to troll furries.
[edit] The Case of Mix v. Banrai
May it please the court, the plaintiff, hereafter Mix, did willfully and knowingly give the defendant, hereafter fat furry art thief Banrai, a shirt (exhibit A) with the "Something Awful" logo on it at Anthrocon 2005. Banrai offered to do a sketch of Mix's retarded hyena abomination character (exhibit B) in exchange. Mix was so overjoyed that he hung around, doing what he does best -– being creepy and scaring customers with his emaciated wraith-like countenance -- until Banrai was forced to flee.
When Mix saw the promised sketches, he began to cry in agonized butthurt, because they didn’t reflect his true hyena spirit enough. Banrai stopped drawing for him because he was a little bitch. This caused Mix to go insane. He then started to call Banrai, often in the middle of the night, to leave tearful voice messages that he loved her. Banrai finally broke the furry code of Universal Acceptable by telling Mix to go fuck off or she would file a restraining order against him. She banninated him from all of her communities on LiveJournal, resulting in big drama.
This aggression would not stand with Mix. Anus still throbbing from his bannination, he took Banrai to internet court for violations of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act for using 'stolen artwork' in a LiveJournal icon: a photograph of the shirt "Something Awful" logo that Mix gave her, because apparently Mix owns that or something. Banrai filed counter-notification (ie complained to LJ abuse team) that she was the ORIGINAL CREATOR OF THE PHOTOGRAPH because DMCA is serious business. LJ Abuse Team told both of them to STFU and GODDAMMIT NOW NO ONE GETS TO USE THE ICON HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT BITCHES.
Not satisfied with that ending, Mix then took his ultimate revenge: vandalizing Banrai's article on WikiFur. He admitted to a WikiFur admin that he was doing it to "get back" at her for banning him from her LJ communities. Mix got banned lol. But, because this is wikifur where the administrators are too faggy to permaban, it was only temporary.
Today, Mix continues to cry the tears of ultimate sadness.
[edit] Irrefutable Evidence of Mix's Faggotry
- He wrote his own wikifur page, as evidenced by the fact that it's full of irrelevant bullshit about Mix’s thoughts on religion and other shit nobody cares about.
- He locked his own wikifur page. Fag.
[18:51] <Jewbacca> not even kidding. [18:52] <Mix> Not into that. [18:52] <Mix> My friends are Jewish, and I don't wish to be a racist. [18:52] <Mix> My Grandpop got murdered in a camp. [18:54] <Mix> Are you a racist? [18:55] <Jewbacca> totally. [18:55] <Mix> Sorry to hear that. [19:03] <Jewbacca> respond
LOLDONGS
[edit] Mix Hates This Article
[21:06] <Mix> Well, everything is a lie in that article. And badly worded at that. [21:06] <weev> ... [21:06] <weev> WHAT ARTICLE [21:06] <Mix> http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Mix_Hyena [21:06] <weev> OKAY [21:06] <weev> NOW WE ARE GETTING SOMEWHERE [21:06] <Mix> sorry [21:06] <weev> okay [21:07] <weev> so what would you like us to do about it? [21:07] <Mix> Have the page locked, and/or purged.
If there is one thing this guy knows about, it's purging. Lawl.
[edit] Mix's Hatred for Christians and His Beliefs in Polar Energy
"Mix has stated that he has issues with organized religion, most notably Christianity. His hatred towards all religion has had him to believe in a philosophy of spirits and polar energy, though still open-minded towards all other philosophical debates. He then relates his own philosophy to transformations and physical shifting, though he has his doubts."
OLOLOL
[edit] Mix's Scritchbook
Mix is also known for his "sketchbook" retardation. The sketchbook is the true window to a furry’s soul, a magical tome that a furry carries with him everywhere so that he can cajole artists into drawing free pictures of his true hermaphrodite-fox-wolf-dragon-taur murrrrrsona in it.
Mix claims to have "a knack for his sketchbook, stating that no one may draw in it if they intend to 'sign' their work." First, the idiot has misused the word "knack," but what do you expect from a furry? Mix’s plan to deny artists credit for their work under the guise of preserving the purity of the art does not sit well with most artists, especially since the real purpose behind the NO SIGNATURE rule is much more sinister: ART THEFT DUN DUN DUN DUUUUN. Also, if an artist signs anything in Mix's book, he will cry the tears of a clown and threaten IRL suicide.
Mix says, "Artwork is supposed to capture a person's soul/spirit, not their signature. The signatures make the work abstract in appearance."
LOL FAG
[edit] Current Shit
Mix deleted his LiveJournal, and is apparently living anywhere in Chicago or Cleveland.
[edit] External Links
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Mix Hyena is part of a series on Aspies. |
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Mix Hyena is part of a series on Furfaggotry |
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