Detroit
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Detroit is the largest city in the State of Michigan. It is notable for being the only major city in the United States in which the both the residents and leaders are overwhelmingly black. Unsurprisingly, Detroit has a quality of life on par with Sierra Leone. Corruption, murder, drugs, rape, shitty football teams, unemployment, and AIDS are just some of things you can find in this fine city.
Contents |
History
In 1701, a group of Frenchmen on their way to first Great North American Mantrain stumbled onto a piece of nice waterfront property. They decided to stay and name it "Detroit," derived from the French words "De" (of) and "Troit" (Niggers). During the French and Injun War, British troops gained control of Fort Detroit, forcing the French to do what they do best: surrender. Realizing what a cold, worthless piece of shit it was, the British eventually ceded Detroit to the Americans.
Prior to the arrival of the white man, there was a large population of Native Americans, but they left only to return a couple centuries later to build a casino and take the residents' hard-earned money. From 1805 to 1847, Detroit's access to the Canadian border made it a key stop along the Underground Railroad. This was the first step in a long process that would result in filling every last nook and cranny of the city with niggers.
In the early 20th century, noted son of a bitch and anti-semite Henry Ford realized that in order to profit from making cars, they needed to be made so that the average Americunt could afford one. With his introduction of the assembly line, Detroit became a booming industrial town and the automotive capital of the world. Ford's "Five Dollar Workday" prompted a huge influx of Wops, Krauts, Mics, Kikes, Arabs, Rednecks, Spics, Polaks and even more niggers.
Most of these ethnic groups were eventually able to move up the socio-economic ladder and out of Detroit. Due to their penchant for blowing all their money on malt liquor, Mad Dog 20/20 and dice, the niggers couldn't afford to leave. These black Detroiters became increasingly upset over their circumstances and responded in the way niggers do when they are upset: by smashing things, starting fires and looting.
For the remaining white people in the the city, these riots were the last straw and they decided to GTFO. Due to this "White Flight" most Detroit inner-city neighborhoods endured a painful niggerization in the 1960s and 1970s, leaving not one cracker within city limits. An extensive freeway system was constructed in hopes that black people would go away, but since they don't have cars, they stayed.
In 1994, every Detroit pool was closed, largely due to AIDS. But since black people don't know how to swim anyway, this went largely unnoticed.
In 2009, unemployment reached a record 24%. Out of the remaining 76% that are employed, 26% work at Popeye's and KFC, 25% have no-show jobs as a result of having a friend or family member in city government, and the other 25% are dumb enough to actually put "Drug Dealer" on their tax returns. With rising crime and unemployment, the "white flight" of the 1960's has been replaced by "everyone just GTFO out of Detroit".
Things Made in Detroit
Things That Used to Be Made in Detroit
- Cars
- Good Music
Public Transportation
Public transportation in the Detroit Metro area is almost non-existent, thanks to Henry Ford. How are you supposed to sell cars if people can use public transit? Detroit's entire public transportation system consists of the People Mover and the bus system. Also if the City of Detroit tried to expand the public transportation system, teh suburbs would throw a shitfit fearing they would be overrun by niggers.
The People Mover Mugger is an approximately half-mile of worthless track that loops around the shitty downtown area of Detroit. Only a couple of the stops are worthwhile, the rest (Financial District, Times Square, Broadway) are cheap rip-offs of a successful city; New York. Those lucky enough to ride this boondoggle are rewarded with a female robot voice announcing their next stop. "Next stop, Millender Center."
While in most cities, buses are used by people from all walks of life, in Detroit they are used primarily by low-class citizens: niggers (they don't have cars), white-trash single moms on their way to Baker College, people whose license is suspended due to DUIs, and retards. No self-respecting person would ever be caught dead on a bus in the Detroit Metro area. Detroit is the only city in America where people are actually gunned down in groups while they wait for the bus.
Crime
| —Sam Riddle, on corruption, while simultaneously being investigated for corruption |
Crime in Detroit has brought the city notoriety. It's fucking high. Detroit regularly ranks near the top in murders and violent crime. Fortunately, most of the crime is black-on-black crime and acts as a form of eugenics.
There also exists a long and proud tradition of corruption in the city of Detroit. Basically, if some out of city company wanted a nice, juicy contract, they needed to grease a lot of wheels. Recently, the FBI stepped in and started V&ing people. City Council member Monica Conyers was just convicted of bribery for accepting $6,000 to approve a sludge-hauling contract. Which begs the question: who would risk their career and freedom for just $6,000? She will likely do 3-5 years of time in federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.
Former mayor Kwame Kilpatrick routinely fucked Detroit in the ass. Hard. He spent a good portion of the city's money on hookers and blow, and then proceeded to fire the cops who were investigating it. He also likely ordered the murder of a stripper. After serving a couple months in jail, he moved to Dallas and is their problem now. He's not out of the woods yet, as the FBI is still investigating both him and his father.
The city is made up of abandoned and burned out shells of buildings. Occasionally, some wino stumbles and falls down an elevator shaft, dies, gets frozen in ice and nobody cares [1]. Also, every single bit of copper in the city has been stolen and fenced for crack.
Devil's Night, the evening before Halloween, is when niggers set the whole fucking city on fire. While setting abandoned buildings on fire is not uncommon in Detroit, Devil's Night brought Detroit even more negative press. As a result, the Angel's Night campaign was formed, and has become a success, bribing potential arsonists with chicken and crack.
Climate
It's so cold
Detroit like the rest of the State of Michigan, only has three seasons. Winter, Not Winter and Road Construction. Where road crews backup traffic for months on end to resurface the highways and freeways. Which amounts to fail as the same roads become crumbling gravel pothole death traps mere months later. While some roads the state government has taken a "fuck it" approach and gave up fixing many roads altogether.
Places to Fear
Bricktown District This is where niggers throw bricks at you. This is where you'll find the Shelter, the place where a brave honkey codenamed M&M infiltrated the nigger base, and tricked them with a siren song comprised of what the coloreds call "rap music".
Midtown. This is where all of the Detroit colleges are located. Since niggers can't read, they're extra angry when they see a school. This anger leads them to perform smash-and-grabs on the cars of people who are actually trying to make something of themselves instead of living off welfare and selling crack. Also, this is a hangout of hipsters, scenesters, emos and other fags from the suburbs who attend Wayne State University and think it is cool to hang out in the city.
Palmer Park A once-nice neighbourhood in northeast Detroit, near "The Pointes", where poor residents live in abandoned brick mansions, and watch their cars get trashed by gangs from downtown before they give up from the crime and move to the suburbs.
Cass Corridor If you go anywhere near the Cass Corridor, you will be raped, stabbed, shot, raped again, almost raped, and then raped. Seriously, don't go here.
Corktown Historic District Do not be fooled. This is where niggers put on jester hats and rob you with shotguns. True fucking story. Was full of Micks at least 100 years ago, but like every other neighborhood in Detroit has since been taken over by those of the urban persuasion.
Greektown The entertainment center of Detroit. If your definition of entertainment is getting yelled at by a schizophrenic bum, eating lamb, hearing a eunic sing in a creepy fashion, buying shitty paintings from niggers and losing your money to an Asian dealer at the casino.
Downtown This is where white people from the suburbs and Palmer Park go to work before promptly leaving as soon as possible after their shift ends. Some hipsters and yuppies are actually moving here because they think it is "trendy" to live in the city. Eventually the novelty wears off once they realize they have to pay a city income tax and that the city services they get in return are spotty at best. Also, if they are lucky enough to find a parking spot for their hybrid car, it will either be stolen or broken into.
Mexican Town Detroit isn't all black after all. This small community is a great place to go if you like being robbed and killed by one of the multitude of Latino gangs located in this community. Also a good place to go if you like Mexican food or just need a good laxative. Against all odds, "singer" Jack White managed to escape from this neighborhood physically, if not mentally, unharmed.
Hamtramck This Polish Enclave is a 2 square mile city that is famous for being surrounded by Detroit. While small in size this city has more bars in this small space than the entire Metro Area, 200 to be exact. If getting trashed is your idea of a fun time this is the place. So it is no surprise that this city's main problem is Alcoholism.
Metro Detroit
Please note that Wayne county is currently at around 33% unemployment.
Oakland County A Jew stronghold, and one of the richest counties in the United States. Recently, the Chaldeans have increased their presence due to the profit they make from all the liquor stores they own in Detroit. Due to all the foreclosures, a nice mansion can be had for about 10 g's.
Macomb County Full of 'necks who think they are special because they live in the suburbs. Don't be fooled though, this is the county that produced Eminem.
Ferndale A city outside of Detroit became the gay mecca after Palmer Park went to hell. So if you like goatse, leather bars and anal come to fashionable Ferndale. They will bend over backwards for you.
Inkster Detroit is not the only Ghetto in Michigan, outside the city is Inkster, a crime ridden niggarized suburb that is home to a housing project called Lemoyne Gardens. It is better known as "Little Saigon" because if its tendency infested with crime and fail. The City barricaded all but two streets into the complex so no one will accidentally wander into it. If you happen to wander into this hellhole good luck getting out. It is the place even the police and Pizza delivery people fear to tread because in this crack infested labyrinth is the Niggataur, a inhuman beast that will kill anything that enters. Favorite Tourist Spots along Inkster's Michigan Avenue hosts fun for the entire family. Such as endless rows of motels where you can screw countless crack whores you can pick up walking the street. If you are unlucky at that you can fap at several 25 cent adult video and novelty stores. If watching naked heroin addicted, knife scarred pimp slapped teenmommies is your flavor, try Bogarts Go-Go Club. For history buffs, visit the landmark Bungalow Motel, where in the 1980's three cops were gunned down by a fat crack ho and her worthless crack babies.
The Pointes Technically a part of Wayne County; Grosse Pointe, Grosse Pointe Shores, Grosse Pointe Park, etc. are home to all the organized crime elements of Metro Detroit.
Downriver Full of rednecks and niggers lucky enough to get out of Detroit. The average Downriver resident is 100 pounds overweight and smokes a lot of menthol cigarettes. Also home to the largest amount of wiggers per capita in the United States. Common recreational activities include trips to Southland Mall and Gibraltar Trade Center.
Dearborn Famous for its No Niggers policy established under former mayor Orville Hubbard, Dearborn is now home to the largest concentration of Arabs outside of the Middle East. You can get shawarma or baklava at any one of the approximately 200 Arab restaurants in the city. Also home to the Ford Motor Company and the Henry Ford Museum where you can see the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile. It is also home to Fairlane Mall and all the major shopping centers the nigras take the bus to shoplift. As there are no major stores in Detroit because they always get broken into, or set on fire by nigras. yet the nigras always whine and complain that no major business wants to open up shop there.
Detroit Metropolitan Airport (or DTW for you aviation fanboys) Is Metro Detroit's international airport, thus there are foreigners running all around and stinking up the place. Half of all signs in the airport are in Japanese, making it an attractive tourist destination for weeaboo and furfaggots to camp out over night and sing anime songs. Primarily used by Arabs and Asians to smuggle their relatives into the country to work at gas stations without paying taxes.
South Detroit Doesn't actually exist,see windsor, except in the song "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey.
Toledo Originally an outpost set up by Ohio to contain all the fail generated by the existence of Detroit during the 1800s, this city has come to resemble Detroit in every way, shape and form.
Windsor, Canada A nice and relatively clean city to visit for those willing to wait two hours to cross the bridge or risk death by carbon monoxide poisoning in the tunnel. Due to the drinking age being only 19, hordes of 19 and 20 year old women and cooldudes from the Detroit Metro area flock to the bars here.
Areas outside of Detroit
The state of Michigan does not keep it's fail in the city alone there are other places that are home to crime and niggarization.
Flint This was a once prosperous home of General Motors until the company got sick of paying $25 an hour to unionized alcoholic and illiterate high school drop-outs. Since such pay rates should only be for people who gave a damn about getting an education in school. So GM left and the town went to hell as all the displaced workers were too ignorant and drunk for doing anything else with their lives than stamping assembly lines of sheet metal for 8 hours a day. Michael Moore became famous by making a movie about the said plight of the city's unemployed listerine drinking bums, and begging for America to give a shit.
Benton Harbor Michigan's festering puss sore on it's western coast, known for nigras and riots. Nothing to see here.
Windsor Canada's answer to Detroit, sitting right nearby.
Sports
Detroit is well-known for it's rich history in sports. This is actually the one area in which Detroit doesn't fail on an epic level. Of course it is no credit to the residents of the city, as all the athletes live in the suburbs. Despite the success, there's still plenty of lulz generated by certain teams.
Lions: After the New England Patriots, the Lions are the lulziest team in the NFL, and probably all of sports. Primarily due to the fact that they win about one out of every five games or so, and haven't won a championship since 1957. In 2008 they became the first NFL team to go 0-16. For you Eurofags out there, there is no such thing as relegation in American sports, so this abortion of a franchise is allowed to remain in the NFL while sucking their downtrodden, unemployed fans dry.
In fact, the Lions have not hosted a Monday Night Football game since 2001, and have not hosted a Sunday night game in decades. There is also the possibility that the long-held tradition of the Thanksgiving Day game could be taken away from them due to copious amounts of fail. In the 2009 off season, the Lions dropped the banhammer on most of the staff and hired new, more successful staff members in an attempt to win at least one game this season.
There are good things to be said about the Lions in terms of charity, though. Thousands of neglected children across the state beg to be adopted by them, because the Lions don't beat anyone.
Tigers: A mostly fail baseball team. Prior to 2006, the Tigers had a 15-year stretch as one of the worst teams in professional sports. Since flaming out in the 2006 World Series, the Tigers have been alternately awesome or really shitty, depending on the month, week, day, game or inning. Just as likely to blow out the Yankees as they are to get shut out by the Royals. They are currently managed by Jim Leyland, an old codger known for his quotable post-game remarks and three pack a day smoking habit.
The Tigers' last championship, in 1984, was notable for the ensuing riots. It was all going to blamed on the nigras until a dumb, suburban redneck named Bubba Helms was photographed celebrating by a burning car. These images, broadcast around the nation, further cemented Detroit's reputation as a rotting shithole full of sub-human sociopaths.
Pistons: Detroit's blackest team, and also most popular amongst the residents of Detroit. Ironically, they play their games about 30 miles north of Detroit, so most Detroiters aren't able to watch them play since the buses don't run that far.
Red Wings: One the most successful teams in professional sports. Unfortunately, since it is hockey, nobody gives a shit. They were denied a second consecutive Stanley Cup when Cindy Crosby finally managed to successfully bottom Gary Bettman in return for fixing the series.
Urban Spelunking Detroit has become such a abandoned derelict vacant crime infested hellhole that some scensters and others who do not know any better actually get a thrill out of hiking and exploring the condemned houses, crumbling vacant factories and decaying crime and murder infested alleyways. Since most of these people are the artfag types they tend to not believe in carrying a firearm of any sort while they explore these ruins.
Famous People From Detroit
Famous People From the Suburbs of Detroit
- Madonna
- Bob Seger
- Robin Williams - Mork from Mork and Mindy
- Tim "The Toolman" Taylor
- Eminem
- Bob Ritchie
- Pam Dawber - Mindy from Mork and Mindy
- Insane Clown Posse
- the guy that invented Google
- Tom Selleck - Magnum P.I.
- Bob Rehahn
- Stephanie Michelle Brown
- Anyone on the FBI's Top Ten Most Wanted
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