McDonald's
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
McDonald's' is a place where people the poor go to eat cheap, processed, greasy food for less, and is the official symbol of American gluttony. It's also the place where all the 13-year-old boys and 16-year-old girls go for lunch on school days, thus setting the stage of a lifetime of Diabeetus. Seeing as they like to use black people in each and every commercial.
Founded by Ronald McDonald several decades ago in California, the restaurant was originally a glue factory, using extracted fat from millions of dying cows and pigs to make glue, but it wasn't until Ronald McDonald Jr migrated to the US that McDonald's began to serve the fatty glue as food.
Now a major political and military superpower, McDonald's has established many cells (called franchises) in countries all over the world, where they continue to kill innocent Chinese kids with American poison, at which time the bloated yellow carcasses are stripped of their delicious meat and sold back in America as Happy Meals.
It should also be noted that UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you take a girl to McDonald's for a first date. You cheap fuck.
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Ronald McDonald
In 1968, hamburgerologists working at the Rand Corporation were horrified to discover that overdosing on McDonald's food would eventually lead to a degenerative disease called "Kroc's Syndrome." Symptoms include loss of skin pigmentation, frizzy red hair, and complete fucking-up of the fashion sense beyond even the ability of any queer guy to correct. These symptoms, in the ailment's initial phase, were accompanied by an increased predilection for everything boys and girls like to do. In a typical philanthropic gesture, McDonald's began a series of public-service ads starring Kroc's Syndrome sufferer Ronald McDonald, who presents the important message, "Kids! Don't eat hamburgers!"
Many clones exist of him, which prove his ties with Mcpedo. Due to addiction to this greasy, nutrient-free diet, celebrity Michael Jackson is also afflicted with Kroc's Syndrome, though in his case, intervention and a stay in a Hollywood rehab clinic were able to save him before the final effects of the disease appeared. These attempts ultimately failed, he's dead.
McDonalds did WTC
Sometime roundabout last Thursday, McDonalds were under fire for allegedly sponsoring potato-hungry Irish freedom fighter group teh I.R.A. It was claimed that for every UK pound McDonalds made, they would give a penny to the murderous Irish group. This rumour caused lots of UK customers to stop buying Big Macs. Heart attacks and obesity stopped the rest.
McDonalds employees at the time, were forced to deny the companys involvement with the IRA, if asked any difficult questions by customers (yeah right, like im gonna get involved in political debate on their behalf for Cake!).
Mcdonalds had the following to say:
| — Ooooh, THAT I.R.A?. Well, why didn't you say?. |
All McDonald's Foods Contain Ectasy and AIDS (This section may cause Nightmares)
One day, someone on a Japanese site called NicoNico Douga posted clips of Japanese McDonald's commercials. Being Japanese, other members of the site proceeded to fuck them up even more than they already were. The below videos are but the tip of the iceberg. (One of the videos clearly depicts Ronald Mcdonald jacking off to CP)
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They love niggers
Last Thursday, McDonald's decided to celebrate its contribution to the 60% higher rate of McDiabeetus in black communities by making this fucktarded website.
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The Gayest Commercial Evar Made
Since McDonald's was losing customers to Burger King with their OMG POKEMON TOYS!!111 they decided to make a new commercial with two young lesbian fugly bitches, in hopes that their friends would go "OMG I NO THEM! THATS FAGGIE AND HER FREND!!! LOL LETS GO EAT THAR!!!" For the most part it worked, all their lesbian friends ran over to the restaurant and om nom nomed everything in sight. For the other part, everyone either got very scared/disturbed or loled and called them retarded fags, which they are. But they're famous for being gay creeps so go give them a pat on the cock, mmkay?
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