Mathematics

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

math

Niggers try hard to emulate the white man's skills at math.

Garfield solves some complex equations IRL

Mathematics is a tired old old meme. Everyone was born with preternatural knowledge of math, and can achieve pinnacles of brilliance even while sleeping. It has numerous numbers in it, unique squiggly symbols and significant irrational actors. It is suggested that mathematics not be attempted under the influence, as it is difficult to drink and derive at the same time. Math, like breathing, needs to be done at all times. The difference being that math is no fucking fun to do.

Math in the Middle Ages

some things you cant do with math

/b/ are smart

Back before the time of enlightenment, when the earth was ruled by level 60 barbs, mathematics were not only frowned upon, but was also proof of the devils influence on men. (For more on "devils influence" see Jews) This widespread belief that numbers were Satan's language is attributed by most lulztorians to the existence of mathemagicians. Mathemagicians were high level mages who cast numerical spells on the village people. Most were fed to lions. This caused great envy from Catholics. They saw this as the mathemagicians way of stealing their fire.

Symbol of the cult of great mathematician Pythagoras. Only further proof that mathematicians are evil moon-worshiping Satanists.

With mathematics you can

• Recreate Jurassic Park.
• Hack the Matrix
• Travel back in time, to become your own father.
• Measure your penis and/or vagina.
• Work in a fish and chip shop and give the incorrect change to customers.
• Calculate the length of Longcat
• Cheat at Dungeons & Dragons.
• Pick up chicks (Let me be tangent to your curves ahahahHAHAHAHJAAHAJAAAhahaaahaha,FAIL)
• Determine the chances of you losing your virginity (0%) to a farm animal (100%) (LOL WUT)
• End up crippled like Stephen Hawking.
• Become a mathalete.
• Compete in the Math Olympics.
• Write a line's or scatterplot's biography because it's so important.

How to Troll Mathematicians on the Internet

• 1 =/= .99999...
  • Say that .99999... is a increasing number that never reaches one
• 0^0 =/= 1
• 0! =/= 1
• Give some proof that two different numbers are equal to each other
  • Don't be afraid to divide by zero!
• 0/0 is everything. Where is your God now?

PROTIP: Make a small image with your equation of choice, post this along with "Prove Me Wrong". Then just sit back and watch every pseudo-intellectual on /b/ rage.

Rigorous Rules of the Internet

fig (1): Venn Diagram of the Baby Fur Conjecture. note: baby furs ⊂ furries ⊂ batshit insane

Axioms

DISREGARD THAT, CALCULUS SUCKS COCKS! AND HE FORGOT THE +C!

• Do not talk about /b/ (Rule 1)
• Do NOT talk about /b/ (Rule 2)
• We are Anonymous. (Rule 3)
• Anonymous is Legion. (Rule 4)
• Anonymous never forgives. (Rule 5)
• Anonymous is still able to deliver (Rule 7)
• Arguing with Troll ≡ Troll is WINNAR. (Rule 14)
• Copypasta is made to ruin every last bit of originality (Rule 22)

(PROTIP: any proof involving Rule 1, 2 or 3 is automatically a contradiction, leave them alone)

Set Theory

• {Girls} ∩ {People on the Internet} = ∅. (Rule 30)
• {set of girls on the internet} ⊂ {set of men on the internet}. (Rule 29 (a), logically equivalent to Rule 30)
• {set of underageB&s on the internet} ⊂ {set of undercover FBI agents} ∪ {Chris Hansen}. (Rule 29 (b) w/ Chris Hansen)
• {set of things that exist} ≡ {set of things that have pornography about it}. Rule 34
• {X: X is sacred} ≡ ∅. (Rule 42)
• {set of things to be taken seriously} ≡ ∅. (Rule 20)
• ∀ X: X ∈ {reposts}, X ∈ {reposts of reposts}. (Rule 24)
• Anonymous ∈ {set of horrible, uncaring monsters} (Rule 6)
• {set of rules about posting} ⊄ {set of real rules} (Rule 8)
• {set of rules about moderation} ⊄ {set of real rules} (Rule 9)
• {set of things you can say} ⊂ {set of things that can be altered} (Rule 13)

Conditionals

• X exists ⇒ X has porn ∨ Porn containing X has yet to be made (can be taken as an Axiom).
• X claims to be a Girl ⇒ X is a man (corollary of: ¬ ∃ Girls on the internet). (Rule 30)
• X claims to be an underageB& ⇒ X is a FBI agent ∨ X is Chris Hansen. (Rule 29 (b) w/ Chris Hansen)
• X is to be talked about ⇒ X is not /b/. (Rules 1 & 2)
• X is a repost ⇒ X is a repost of a repost. (Rule 24)
• X is fucked up ⇒ ∃ Y more fucked up than X. (Rule 36)
• Let P be the proposition: You like rival sites. P ⇒ ¬P (Rule 10, See also: Paradox)
• ∀X: X is a carefully picked argument of yours ⇒ X can be easily ignored. (Rule 11)
• ∀X: X is something you say ⇒ X can be used against you. (Rule 12)
• ∀X: X can be labeled ⇒ X can be hated. (Rule 18)
• Copypasta is made to ruin every last bit of originality (Rule 23)
  • Proof of Rule 23: Given that Rule 22 is true. Rule 23 = Rule 22. ∴ Rule 23 is true. QED.

General Theorems

• Division by Zero is not possible/defined. (Rule 37)
• TITS ∨ GTFO. (Rule 31)
• How hard you try ∝ how hard you fail. (Rule 15)
• An object's beauty/pureness ∝ satisfaction attained by it's corruption. (Rule 43)
• As time → ∞, WIN → FAIL. (Rule 17)
• As FAIL → ∞, FAIL → EPIC FAIL. (Rule 16)
• As length N of thread T → ∞, P(∃ a post in T comparing somebody to Nazis/Hitler | N) = 1 (Godwin's Law)
• The time span of original content from birth to old meme << the total lifetime of a meme. (Rule 21)
  • One of the many theoretical predictions to be tested in the Large Hadron Collider
• Relevance to OP ∝ 1/n, where n is the number of posts in the thread. (Rule 25)
  • There is evidence to suggest that Relevance to OP decreases exponentially: ∝ exp(-n)
• Your hate of X ∝ Strength of X. (Rule 19)

Fur-analysis

• {Furries} ⊂ {Bat Shit Insane People}. (conjecture, not yet a rule)
• If X exists ⇒ ∃ Furry Porn with X (Rule 46)
• {Furries} ∩ {Pedos} ≡ {Cub Artists}
• {Furries} ⊂ {Srs business}
• {Baby Furs} ⊂ {Furries} &sub {Bat Shit Insane} [see fig (1)]
  • {Furries} ∩ {Adult Babies} ≡ {Baby Furs}

Gallery

Oh, surely I am not doing these radical expressions for nothing! Give me some real world examples!	lolwut?	A typical math problem	Women are especially dumb when it comes to math.
the correct answer to any math problem	Math is hard.	Jesus christ, it's math! Get in the car!

See Also

• The Comprehensive Theory of Lulz
• Vandalize Every Equation
• X Y is X
• Stephen Hawking.
• Prime Number Shitting Bear.
• Binary
• Timecube
• Pi

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Mathematics is part of a series on potential Science projects.	Science Theory Albert Einstein • Balloon Boy • Bill Nye • Theoretical physics • God • Existence • Evolution • Global Warming • Look Around You • Memes • Richard Dawkins • Computer Science III • Large Hadron Collider • Apophis • How is babby formed? • The Comprehensive Theory of Lulz • Schrödinger's cat • Zero Division Proven by Science Tree Hugging • Cubic Time • God hates fags • JEWS DID WTC • No girls on the internet • Raelism • Scientology • Trepanation • Alternative Medicine Science in Action Drugs! • Sex! • Creationism! • Fire! • Uranium! • Lens flare! • Diabeetus! • Heart! • Electricity!