Maja Schmidt

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

“	I'm a mystery. No really, I am. After 8 years, my boyfriend still has no clue what goes through my head. I have an exceptionally bad temper which I do a poor job at controlling should I feel the need to make it someone elses problem.	„
—Maja

Don't make Maja mad, or she'll get the cops to arrest you for being the coward she isn't.

Maja Schmidt aka alvestein or dowanor -born Mai Schmidt on 5 April, 1982- is an angry Internets drama queen, spam poster and troll, currently residing in Larvik, Norway. She has a boyfriend called Marius who likes to pay tribute to the Alfred Hitchcock movie Psycho by trying to scare her while she's in the shower. The perv that he is...

I'm guessing the sight of children makes Maja feel dirty, because she has voluntarily signed herself up for sterilisation. Again paying tribute, this time to the UK number one hit "Too Much Too Young" by The Specials. Further proof that the non-commercial culture is getting worst.

Like most working class Norwegian citizens who get their daily caffeine fix courtesy of Schweppes, Maja is one of those people who are only happy ~~when they are working~~ nevar. Or in this case, poppin shit about others from behind a computer screen. Are you feeling horny yet?

1 History
2 Serialkiller in training
3 Solicitor's letter
4 Lolsuit
5 The Dollar Stretcher
6 Food for Thought
7 Known names
8 Further Reading
9 Special Thanks

[edit] History

“	I whine, rant, complain and yell. That's just me.	„
—Maja

Once upon a time, Ms. Schmidt found the deadingly dull website, 4chan. "What a cool and lovely site," she said, as she intently speed read through the latest topics the very same day her mother got them connected to the internetz. "Be very careful, Mai. There's danger in them parts". But Maja was too busy getting herself aquainted with her new tool, trying to find a way to distinguish herself from other noobs.

Upon learning that 4chan was full of immature little kids, Maja was gobsmacked with disgust. From that day forward, Maja vowed never to return to the eyesore that is 4chan, and she tried to start a hate campaign on Facebook, which lead to the deletion of her account. Little did she know that one day she too would have a site of her own, that bettered 4chan. Several of these came about, in fact.

Maja used to own and maintain the website Dowan.org, a blog powered by WordPress. In April 2008, she allegedly sold the blog to her friend, Malin. Yeah, as if...

About the only thing Maja will ever be famous for is her knack to post shit no one normal gives a damn about. But she met other like-minded people who also got around to posting shit no one cares about. Thus creating one of those, what do you call it? Oh yeah! Groups.

Privately hosted and hack proof assured, Maja calls the shots. In *her* words, WordPress are not to be held responsible for what she has to say. Meaning that if Maja is moody, you must have done something to piss her off. Since she rules undisputedly with an “Iron fist in a velvet glove”, it is her call to make, and you dare not get her worked up on a bad day.

[edit] Serialkiller in training

Maja credits the Coca Cola Company with helping her become an overnight sucksess story. She has bought shares to the company, and is now the new co-owner with Roberto Goizueta. So I'm guessing it's those bastards at Cadbury who are to blame for tis?

Long before Maja encountered the manifesting internet persona Grace Saunders, Maja successfully sued her ex-boyfriend when he said that giraffes were the most boring zoo animals ever. Also around this time, Maja started hearing voices in her head because those kiddies gave her headaches, and she undoubtedly made claim that the voices were her personal thoughts. No, this was not the morning broadcast of I-95.

In May 2006, Maja started her biggest online feud yet against Grace Saunders after he discovered a snide remark about his "cyberbullying" threads. Grace Saunders (whose real name cannot be disclosed here, as it is not to be named) was a victim of the online harassment that was instigated by Maja's lesbian lover Vixx, who was quite upset when she discovered Saunders was really a he-she.

To even the score (as well as to boost her already massive ego), Maja started using Dowan.org as a soapbox to run down Saunders, unaware that he was into Google like bees are into honey. Ironically, Maja is as thick as mince. She's no real hacker, like Zero Cool. She's so thick-headed in fact, that she had to get someone to design the crappy template on Dowan.org for her, which is now gone. Sigh.

Naturally, Grace Saunders initially tried to get her to remove two shitty entries on Dowan.org to save face, since she was slandering him. Thus setting herself up for a well deserved "LOL INTERNET" moment, and further contradicting her own steps to sue Gracie-boy, and have her solicitor take legal action. But as predicted, Mr. Saunders was met with no seriousness whatsoever in his quest to resolve things smoothly. This ruined the lulz, but paved way for the intended victim to become another an hero.

In reality, Maja was really just sticking her nose where it don't belong. Maja believes she has the God giving right to badmouth other people on her blog, yet gets all hot and sweaty when people do it back to her. If she didn't want all this garbage posted about her, she should have simply deleted the two entries about Grace Saunders when asked, and that would have been the finish.

[edit] Solicitor's letter

You know what I think? I think that we're all in our private traps, clamped in them, and none of us can ever get out. We scratch and we claw, but only at the air, only at each other, and for all of it, we never budge an inch.

After several months of whining and threatening to take legal action, Maja eventually got around to contacting a UK solicitor in Edinburgh to try and get Saunders thrown in the slammer for the e-Harassment she brought upon herself. Since legal fees and killing trees proved to be expensive, she had one of her bloggers donate $10 to her PayPal in advance. The rest has to be leeched from Marius, just as soon as he realizes being self-employed has its highs and lows. Poor guy...

In February, Mr. Saunders was the recipant of an undertaking, due to his retalitory actions against Norway's resident busy body. Details of that remain sketchy. But if you're curious about all that, please relate to the postings on the Full Moon Underground forums for more information, provided you can be arsed to find the posts. The darn citation for the link to the page wasn't working, though.

Of course, the "proof" Maja case filed was rather one-sided, as she's always the angel no matter what annoyance she brings upon others. I mean, who honestly never saw that coming? There was a lot of "He done this...", and "He done that..." presented in libel form, but none of the "I (Maja) admit to posting the flame bait, and doing lots of beating the dead horse over and over again..." shit, or any justified confession that she played any big hand in helping this smelly BS to pile up from day numero uno.

As of March 2008, Maja is feeling severely butthurt and supposedly frightened of a guy she's only spoke to online, seeing as how she can't give Saunders a one way ticket to Bantown. This resorted in Scottish police resources being contacted, ONLY because she was spammed, challenged, and subsequently pwned at her own game. Talk about tough lulz.

Lately, she seems to think that by deleting her MySpace profile (and certain other profiles), that she is now safer on the internetz. But why eliminate the attention when she created the attention? Make sense? Nope!

After finding her ED page through referrals, Maja sent one of her minions to ED to bitch and cry that someone was going against non-existant rules. Obviously she sent someone else to ED because she's playing the innocent victim, and is trying to pretend (rather unconvincingly, one might add) that she played no part in causing this shit to happen, when certain people reading this page know otherwise. Examples of this include flaming people for half a year, exchanging abusive emails with her target, and then trying to give him/her the cold shoulder, as if she's just gotten over something major in her life - which is contradictive, considering she opted to post about it.

Oh, if you wondered, she has enabled a contact form on her blog. But most of the shit you send her just gets bounced back to your inbox. Her real email address is dowanor@googlemail.com and not the maja@dowan.org shit she has on her site. Don't want spammed, hun? Don't advertise your address for all to see.

But will Maja ever admit to having these problems? Will ODB be spared death? And lastly, will Tony the Tiger ever find his stripes?

“	I hate everyone equally	„
—Maja trying to be unique and edgy

Also see Pekka-Eric Auvinen

[edit] Lolsuit

It would appear that Schmidt has a lawyer (see also: bullshit) and has some qualm with Encyclopedia Dramatica. Who could have seen that coming?

Lol at it here and here then watch the bottom of User talk:OldDirtyBtard to see the drama unfold.

I think she's been trying to edit this article. There are some funny names on the history logs. But why even bother? I guess people just wanna have their 15 minutes of fame on ED. ^_^

OH NOES Epoque has just declared he is filing the suit and the administrators of ED will receive a court summons shortly. View the post at the end of ODB's talk page here. What he fails to understand is that the so called "private urls" are not private in the slightest, they are viewable by the public and we simply link to them. We are also allowed to use the picture of Maja as it was posted publicly and can be used for critique and comment under fair use.

Update:

Maja still hasn't deleted the three entries on her blog. I now have her address details, and I know her website is hosted by Liquid Web. I WILL be contacting them shortly to file a complaint or two. Adios.

[edit] The Dollar Stretcher

"Got Dowan.org on sale stranger"

OMG. Could it be? After 5 years of crying her guts out, flaming, stalking, bitching and boasting, Maja is auctioning up Dowan.org to the highest bidder so she can finally move on with her e-life. Type Dowan.org on Google, or look at the list of links on here.

I'd imagine her new blog won't be that hard to find, since she won't be able to keep her trap shut for more than 10 seconds. But one must keep this in mind: When you have nothing important to talk about, you put out the beware stuff.

You know? Like Maja Schmidt.

O.O

In 2008, Maja became a man, named Uffe. =]