LiveJournal Buyout

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

A screenshot of the new LiveJournal & SixApart layout, by imanihilist

After rumors began circulating that LiveJournal was being bought out by Movable Type-creator Six Apart, it quickly became an old meme for people to post in their journals that OH NOEZ TEH SKY IS FALLING LIVEJOURNAL HAS SOLD OUT!!!

These people apparently didn't realize the benefit of vastly increased stability and development resources that would come from the tripled resource pool of a combined Six Apart/LiveJournal effort, not to mention some of the less obvious benefits like increased staff salaries. With the LJ Abuse team getting paid more, they'll finally be able to afford some decent looking hookers and a weekly 8ball of blow. After getting laid and snorting a fat line, they'll undoubtedly be less of a bunch of vapid tightasses, and with less tightassery from the Abuse team, fewer LiveJournal superstars will get suspended.

Not only that, but Six Apart + LiveJournal = SALJ. This omen heralds the triumph of the SALJers over the Internets.

For users, the first effect of the buyout was changes to the Terms of Service.

The second effect was opening the service to users younger than 13, plunging the average user age precipitously within weeks. Troll and sexual deviant targets immediately changed from angsty teen mall goths to the pre-pubescent whine set. Barbies and Hot-Wheels overtook iPods on camwhore wishlists, and perverts gained an interest in early developing eight-year olds.

It remains to be seen whether this was LiveJournal's shark jumping moment, though the second LJ buyout by TEH RUSSIANS OMGZ will qualify if nothing else does.