Lifetime
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
While Lifetime is technically a network, the sum of all entertaining content aired during its entire existence is less than that contained in a single second of the original pilot for Survivor (one of the worst shows ever to air on any network other than Lifetime). Lifetime movies are entirely victim focused:
- Kidnapped children
- Nasty Divorces
- Sexually/physically abusive/stalker men
- Whiny ass women with eating disorders
These movies almost always star Meredith Baxter Birney, Tori Spelling or the Dykey chick from "The Facts of Life". Sadly, Ms. Garrett's huge rack never made an appearance in any of these movies.
Poorly transcribed ancient stone tablets state that someday Lifetime tv will release the seminal movie "I want my daughter back stalker ex-husband premature ejaculator feminist crusade bulimia anorexia fuckfest", and the universe will actually cease to exist, and will be replaced with Bea Arthur's cooch. If the tablets are to be believed, Lifetime is actually some kind of cruel joke, or possibly a warning sign from God that the destruction of mankind is not only imminent, but actually taking place in front of our very eyes. It's all because we're not buying organic.
