Life
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
No, we aren't talking about the jew-made cereal.
Life is a controversial first-person shooter that was created by Xenu over 9000 years ago. It is about a person, of whom you create, who lives in a very strange world called Earth in the country 'Merika. People say they can live in places like aznworld or Tea City, but they're absolute liars. As this person, you can go anywhere and do anything, but you only have one life. The difficulty level is defined at birth, determined by how many in-game points your character's creators had obtained. There are 300 ranks to level up to, but people only make it to 80 or so because they get pissed at the game or die. Some enemies include douchebags, hippies, and furries. Some bosses are white people, teachers, and niggas.
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[edit] Notable Ranks
Level 1 You will find this to be the shittiest level in the game, unless you work at Gamestop, because then your +500 douchebaggery would allow you to like it. You begin as a short, obese, bald man in a diaper who shits and pisses himself, vomits, and lets out horrifyingly disturbing cries at random times, especially in the night. You have no control over this, and it is commonly compared in annoyance to cliff racers.
Level 12 Here, you play as a retarded short person with a foolish and one-sided opinion who enjoys screaming over the mic in games like Halo and Call of Duty 4.
Level 16 From this point onward, every time you level up, you will be given a chance to kill everyone around you and then take your own life if you grew up in a small town in the midwest. This will not pop up at this level if you live in a city until you turn 21 and you have a bullshit job that may drive you insane. 16 is more suitable to small town teenagers because they are forced to attend a shithole facility for 9001 hours every day until they're over 9000.
Level 21 At this point, you will be able to consume alcohol and cigarettes, so you will be either a bad person or a faggot.
Level 40 This is when you can begin molesting kids. You will go to prison if you are caught by the Po leese and raped violently by bubba every day. If you leave prison alive, you will be rewarded with 700 internets.
[edit] Characters
You - You're a fucking dumbass.
azns - The smartest people on Urth, they are skilled with calculators and killing people shamelessly. They are either short with black hair and squinty eyes, or tall, extremely muscular, and have hair over 9000 feet high that glows a strange color. The latter also have oceans rather than eyes. All azns generate 90% of all weird shit in the world.
Beaners - They are completely useless, smelly, retarded gibberish-speakers who try to get jobs in your country. Some try to be tough, but end up looking like dumbasses.
God damn niggers - Hated by all crackers, they are useless to society, and steal all the white women because they have massive cocks. they also steal our watermelons, kool-aid, and fried chikkenz. O lawd. Killing all of them will result in you winning the game, a feat never achieved because everyone who plays sucks.
Europeans - White people who use Moonspeak and think they're from another continent. They're not, they're just insane.
Internet pplz - Random NPC's on this thing called the Series of Tubes who use the aforementioned thing to level up in Sociality, but fail belligerently because they don't know it gives you -100 Social every time you post.
[edit] Success
Few people who have played the game have actually beat it. They have achieved so by using the ability gifted to you at Level 16 to kill everyone around you, and then yourself. Once you do so, you are given the rank Hero and advance to heaven, where you meet Xenu and Jesus eating some fried Furry. O lawd i do declare. Some people don't choose to do this, though, because they're either fucking retarded or pussies. To beat the game you must at least complete the prime objective.
[edit] See Also
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Life is part of a series on Gaming. |
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