Lie

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Lies make the poor work hard so others can do nothing and/or exploit the poor even further for the lulz. Lies make up the majority of what you've been told your whole life.

The lie was discovered by ancient Mayan people in search of Europeans to borrow all their excess gold. The Europeans did come one day and pwn the Mayans; history tells us whitey told them to STFU and subsequently GTFO in a polite and organized fashion. As they were getting pwnt, Prometheus bitchslapped the Europeans and gave humanity the gift of lying. Duh.

Once the theory of specific lieivity was published, it was only a matter of time before teh internets learned about the magical lie and its mysterious powers. Ever since, corruption, world starvation, and Mariah Carey have been unleashed on the Earth, ravaging everything in sight. This portion of the story is readily available in the Bible. It's next to all the other factual documentations of things that actually happened.

Artists use lies to tell the truth, and they die cold, alone, poor, and virgins. Politicians use lies to cover the truth up, they die, and get state funerals, gravesites with more square footage than most suburban homes, and have more notches in their bedposts than most rockstars.

In France, nobody lies. They really can't help but scream with adulation when they take it hard and fast from the Germans.

Science tells us that frequency of lying is directly correlated to your penis size, so it is advisable for a man to lie as much as possible especially around women. Being lied to turns women on. It is for both these reasons that women lie at least 100% of the time, as they secretly wish they had their own throbbing dongs to suck, and they get each other off by lying as much as possible.

[edit] Common uses for lies

[edit] Common users of lies

A common lie is that the Earth is a sphere. As you can see, it is a perfectly flat disc.
"a real metal band" = huge lie.
User pictures are usually lies.

[edit] See also


Lie is part of a series on Language & Communication.

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