Lie
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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The Video Professor 16
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Lies make the poor work hard so others can do nothing and/or exploit the poor even further for the lulz. Lies make up the majority of what you've been told your whole life.
The lie was discovered by ancient Mayan people in search of Europeans to borrow all their excess gold. The Europeans did come one day and pwn the Mayans; history tells us whitey told them to STFU and subsequently GTFO in a polite and organized fashion. As they were getting pwnt, Prometheus bitchslapped the Europeans and gave humanity the gift of lying. Duh.
Once the theory of specific lieivity was published, it was only a matter of time before teh internets learned about the magical lie and its mysterious powers. Ever since, corruption, world starvation, and Mariah Carey have been unleashed on the Earth, ravaging everything in sight. This portion of the story is readily available in the Bible. It's next to all the other factual documentations of things that actually happened.
Artists use lies to tell the truth, and they die cold, alone, poor, and virgins. Politicians use lies to cover the truth up, they die, and get state funerals, grave sites with more square footage than most suburban homes, and have more notches in their bedposts than most rockstars.
In France, nobody lies. They really can't help but scream with adulation when they take it hard and fast from the Germans.
Science tells us that frequency of lying is directly correlated to your penis size, so it is advisable for a man to lie as much as possible especially around women. Being lied to turns women on. It is for both these reasons that women lie at least 100% of the time, as they secretly wish they had their own throbbing dongs to suck, and they get each other off by lying as much as possible.
[edit] Common uses for lies
- The Cake
- Religion, Religion, Religion
- Getting pu55y
- Getting cash
- Getting attention
- LJ
- MySpace
- Religion
- Winning all arguments.
- Covering up your secret furry fetish, you sick fuck.
- Having unprotected sex after being diagnosed with AIDS.
- Saying your power level is over 9000 when really it is far less.
- Poker.
- Valleywag articles
- Getting friends.
- I bought dis bike boss, troo god
- Staying out of jail.
- Should that fail, extending your nose to reach the keys to your cell.
- Saying you are a virgin 16 year old girl.
- Getting your expendable test subject to try out your new weapon without telling her that she'll be dead by the end of the experiment (see: cake).
- Never Drinking Again.
- convincing others of almost rape.
- Saying you are not pregnant.
- Jews are people too.
- Sleeping with a 15 year old girl
- I don't have AIDS
- Statistics
- For lulz
[edit] Common users of lies
- W
- Al Gore
- W
- Abigaille
- W
- Women
- W
- Render
- W
- Scifags
- W
- darr
- Niggers
- W
- Inmendham
- W
- 16 year old girls
- W
- Hitler
- W
- Attention whores
- W
- Democrats
- W
- Republicans
- W
- Jews
- W
- Communists
- W
- Weev
- W
- Kevin Trudeau
- W
- Anonymous
- W
- Trap-kun
- W
- Lawyers
- W
- Politicians
- W
- Ryan Gentle
- W
- That girl who told you it was of 'average size'.
- W
- Wikipedia users
- W
- Your mom
- W
- Your dad
- W
- GoddessMillenia
- W
- Dead Rising - about having good AI
- W
- Halo - about being the best game evar!!!11
- W
- Ondore
- W
- InSaNe-REYNARD
- W
- PETA
- W
- GLaDOS
- W
- Anti-Emo Federation
- W
- You when you said you thought she was 18
- W
- That shitty singer or something when she claimed she got married to Pete Wentz on Saturday and did not have sexual relations with that woman. That woman being her sister Jessica.
- W
- The bush and his dick who are currently running the country.
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[edit] See also
- Encyclopædia Dramatica
- Scientology
- United States of America
- Bullshit
- Factual inaccuracy
- Fiction
- Defamation
- Nice try
- Sob Story
- Holocaust
- Cake
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Lie is part of a series on Language & Communication. |
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