Le Parkour
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Le Parkour, also called Parkour, PK, l'art du déplacement, and free-running, is more commonly known as bat-shit insane French acrobatics.
According to the Oxford Dictionary of English Language, parkour is defined as: a highly advanced, French version of martial arts, modified in accordance with the ancient and tested French tradition, in which actions such as "fighting", "blocking", "parrying" or "kicking" are replaced by a single action of "running away really fucking fast".
In addition to being the most popular French sport at the moment, it is also the source of immense French pride after being featured in an American movie for almost 90 seconds. Filled with more pride than a bullfrog's throat after being shown in a movie, France has since made its own movies based on parkour, all of which consist of footage of nothing but Frenchmen running away. (One of the movies also contains a mistakenly included scene in which there is no parkour; instead, an atomic bomb is planted in Paris. Unfortunately, it does not explode, end spoiler.)
All who partake in Parkour have a death wish, think they're hot stuff, or are a combination of both. Thanks to teh internets, many young, impressionable minds are converted to this "discipline", and subsequently make retards of themselves on Google Video. Some argue that it's really, really, kewl, and that, they're, like, so good at it, they, like, don't have to worry about, like, what common sense tells them. Pray Death takes them early so they won't put you in danger.
[edit] The Purist
David Belle of Fécamp, also known as Jesus Christ, is the central figure of Parkour, revered by most Traceurs as the incarnation of God, and is also an important figure in ownage. Those who do parkour for what its meant for, finding a quick path and following it to escape and trying to be UBER 1337 and beat everyone else while also saying that parkour is not about competition. These people are very well respected and hated within the parkour community. These purists refer to themselves as "traceurs," and will go to great lengths to distinguish themselves from "freerunners," who do basically the same shit. The act of using Parkour maneuvers to travel from one point to another is known as "smearing" parkour on that place, or filling it with "parkour stank."
[edit] The Teenagers
These are the kids who do parkour for the lulz, they think they're cool and they jump off tall buildings, and usually end up hurting themselves and putting it on JewTube, accompanied by a brutal soundtrack of exxtreme tunezz. These kids are hated within the parkour community for being full of themselves faggots. Although noob as they are, it is amazingly funny watching these emo skaties blowing out their knees trying to do things the purists can, always naming the videos "Le Parkour" as if it makes them pro.
[edit] The "Normals"
The Normals are people who do parkour as a extra activity to their already action-packed life, such as playing counter strike for hours on end. These people range in skill from really noob to UBER 1337 purist level. This group of people will do parkour seriously sometimes, and also use it for lulz. For example, they will dress up as ninjas and walk around their respective cities. When a parkour technique is about to be executed, the traceur yells "PARKOUR!" in a high voice to alert those around them of the PK stank which will soon waft through the premises. Much lulz ensues. They also like to run around in Santa outfits during Christmas, which can be seen on No0bTube. Essentially, to see a "Normal" parkourfag, watch an episode of COPS.
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