Lady GaGa
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Lady Gaga is a tool of the Illuminati who wants to control your mind !!!!!!!!!!!!1 |
Andy Warhol, an infamous fag Jew, stated in 1968: "In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes."
In 1979 Warhol reiterated his claim: "...my prediction from the sixties finally came true: In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes."
In August 2008, Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta Giggerota, a cannibal queen, real estate agent, and Pope, viciously raped and murdered fame in less than 15 minutes with her Poker Face, thus proving that Andy Warhol was an optimist.
She then followed the lead of Madonna and became, like, so, like, totally post-modern and stuff?, and reinvented herself into Radio Lady GaGa.
Lady GaGa (better known as Lady GAGa, "Lady" GaGa, Lady CaCa, L8D G@G@ <3>, "Lady" FaGa, Lady BlahBlah, or "Dude looks like a" Lady GaGa ) is an ugly prostitute who sells crap to kids. He or she is also responsible for 99% of the generic electro garbage you are being forced upon every time you turn on the radio, TV or enter a Nightclub. But don't try to deny it, you, like the rest of us common gutter scum, are starting to enjoy it. CaCa is also notable for being a famous IRL whore.
| —Christina Aguilera, effectively trolling herself. |
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?!
Lady GaGa was born in New York, to Italian/Dago/Ginzo/Goombah/Greaseball/Guinea/Wog/Wop/fat violent fucktard mafia parents. She went to a Catholic school, which explains her homosexual tendencies. At seventeen, she enrolled at a New York university, and, soon after, dropped out. She went on to write songs for The Pussycat Dolls and other pseudo-bands that wouldn't exist if it weren't for auto-tune and Fruity Loops. Last Thursday, Akon noticed that she was a white girl and helped her record her debut album in an attempt to get at dat ass.
Gaga then started performing downtown, in the Lower East Side club scene with rock bands. However, owing to the utter bullshit bands that come out of New York, she distanced herself from rock, and focused on pop instead.
Before even working on her musical stylings, she collaborated with fellow batshit insane fashionista, Lady Starlight. The two worked on GaGa's fucked up look, and before she knew it, GaGa was invited to play Lollapalooza, proving once and for all that the current American music industry is run by complete fuckwits who care more about image than talent. GaGa was applauded for her over-the-top performance by nigra music critics everywhere, who, like Akon, hoped for some of dat ass.
Not content with just being the worlds most up and coming attention whore, GaGa started producing her debut album The Fame with the midimaster RedOne. GaGa already had a cache of electro glam songs inspired by David Bowie and Queen, GaGa and RedOne re-worked these pre-written songs with more of an urban style whilst maintaining a rock edge.
So far, the album The Fame, has received huge airplay worldwide, as well as spawning countless club remixes. There have been music videos filmed for the tracks "Just Dance", "Poker Face", "Lovegame", "Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)", and "Paparazzi". The clip (Australian for 'music video') for "Lovegame" was censored in Australia due to it being too sexy. Those Aussies really do like censoring things!
The Fame, baby. The Fame, the fame, the fame. Fame
| —GaGa wants to party with you! |
| —Lady CaCa on why she gets along so well with Paris Hilton. |
GaGa relocated to LA in 2008, and finalized The Fame there. GaGa describes the album as "Def Leppard drums and handclaps to metal drums on urban tracks". The album was released to more praise from white-ass hungry critics. The first single from The Fame was "Just Dance" and reached no. 1 in seven countries. "Just Dance" was also nominated for a Grammy for Best Dance Recording, however it lost to Daft Punk - "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger". It is widely believed that this is because Daft Punk is just slightly stranger than GaGa.
Haus of GaGa
Around this time GaGa also pioneered a group of people she likes to refer to as the Haus of GaGa, which she describes as: "My own creative team, modeled on Warhol's Factory. Everyone is under 26 and we do everything together." The purpose of the Haus of GaGa is to collaborate on clothes, stage sets, lighting and sound.
Her Music
Main article: Lady Gaga's Music
- Just Dance: A song about getting completely slaughtered, but in normal whore fashion, continue partying until the inevitable happens.
- Lovegame: Its about having a good time, enjoying electro urban beats, and jumping onto the first cock that you sniff out.
- Paparazzi: Paris Hilton comes to mind.
- Pokeface: This song is apparently about pretending her boyfriend is a woman, though, we're pretty sure she's bisexual for the same reason David Bowie was. Alternatively, Poker Face is about giving one of a group of guys head under a table and whoever shows expression has to leave the table and loses The Game. However, this is just wild speculation and was probably just a crappy urbandictionary.com rumor.
- Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say): There's not much to say
aboutaboot this song, eh eh. - Brown Eyes: Another typical sixteen year old girl song. It's about her banging a dude who still loves his ex girlfriend.
- Again Again: The same as Brown Eyes, only this time she's thinking about her ex boyfriend while she's with a new man.
- Summerboy: Well, you can bet the gay community just LOVES this song...
- Fashion: She probably didn't even know what Dolce & Gabbana was before she got rich (Disregard that, she was born into upper class New York. She has always been rich).
- Paper Gangsta: Dressing the part aint gonna get you that sweet GaGa tang.
Whore Detected
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| —Lady GaGa |
| —Caca on her relationships with Gods |
GaGa's influence on /b/
Main Article: Poker Face
Poker Face is yet another unfunny forced meme (redundant, I know) created by /b/tard on May 2009. Based on a song by known trap pop queen Lady GaGa, newfags think it's hilarious to use old memes, photoshop their faces off and post them, along with lyrics of the tranny's cleverly named song.
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One of the hundreds of variations of the above images are spammed with the following text:
GaGa's Effect on Gayfags
Her song Boys Boys Boys has for some reason become an anthem in gay bars around the world. Faggotry linguists are combing the lyrics for clues.
BOYS BOYS BOYS
Hey there sugar baby saw you twice at the pop show You taste just like glitter mixed with rock and roll I like you a lot, lot Think you're really hot, hot Know you think you're special when we dance real crazy Glamophonic Electronic, Disco baby I like you a lot, lot All we want is hot, hot BOYS, BOYS, BOYS We like boys in cars BOYS, BOYS, BOYS Buy us drinks in bars BOYS, BOYS, BOYS With hairspray and denim BOYS, BOYS, BOYS We love them! Ohh, oh oh oh- uh-ohhhh-oooo-wuh-ohh Ohh, oh oh oh- uh-ohhhh-oooo-wuh-ohh Baby is a bad boy with some retro sneakers Let's go see The Killers and make out in the bleachers I like you a lot, lot Think you're really hot, hot Let's go to the party heard our buddy's the DJ Don't forget my lipstick I left it in your ashtray I like you a lot, lot All we want is hot, hot I'm not loose, I like to party Let's get lost in your Ferrari Not psychotic or dramatic I like boys and that is that Love it when you call me "legs" In the morning buy me eggs Watch your heart when we're together Boys like you love me for ever Ohh, oh oh oh- uh-ohhhh-oooo-wuh-ohh Ohh, oh oh oh- uh-ohhhh-oooo-wuh-ohh Ohh, oh oh oh- uh-ohhhh-oooo-wuh-ohh Ohh, oh oh oh- uh-ohhhh-oooo-wuh-ohh
Leaked Video
On the 29th of May, Lady GaGa's new video for the track Paparazzi was leaked on the interbutts, to the dismay of GaGa. The culprit has been indentified as The Video Leaking Bug, the same one that leaked the new Kanye West video.
GaGa was clearly butthurt and proceeded to Nerd Rage over twitter.
| —Lady GaGa gets angry |
The video itself is an 8 minute long monstrous con-fuckery which can only really be described by making up words. Its depicts GaGa at the beginning being a whore, and most notably, not making her hipster-fag looking male whore a sammich. Said hipster-fag realizes this, and throws GaGa over the balcony, leaving her semi-naked in a pool of blood.
Cut to GaGa sitting in a wheelchair with a bejewelled neck brace, however still managing to be a whore as she is being carried around by male dancers. As the dancers gyrate around her, the singer strips off her black body suit and hobbles down a carpet on a pair of crutches wearing a metallic bustier and matching helmet. All the while, images of dead models flash on the screen, including one whose face is wrapped in plastic, one who appears to be hanging from a noose and another who is oozing gold-colored blood from her mouth.
In the next scene, we see her slag ass make out with the triplets from The Snakes of Eden. Then she comes out in a crazy white and blue ensemble, half-dress and half not. This is probably reminiscent of the fact that Gaga is both man and woman.
In the end, GaGa proves that women should never be trusted by killing her hipster-fag man with a lethal dose of menstrural blood in his creaming soda.
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GaGa has a Disco Stick
After seeing her on tour in her creative leotards and jumpsuits, fans have began rumors that Gaga is actually a hermaphrodite. Fans have said that when the singer bends down there is a huge bulge where her poon should be. The release of the video for the song "Poker Face" originally sparked the claims, because she looks like a fucking dude in the clip. It is also worthy to note that certain faggots seem to think that the lyrics to "Poker Face" are a sekrit message from GaGa, informing everyone that she has a penis.
GaGa recently appeared on Australian talk show Rove, where she was interviewed. Towards the conclusion of the interview, GaGa was asked the following question:
| —Rove McManus |
The audience were expecting an answer along the lines of Prince GaGa, Mr. Gizzlega or some other faggotry. However GaGa simply responded with:
| —Lady GaGa |
| —[Gaga] |
GaGa's beautiful vagina
Surely, with all these vicious lies being spread about GaGa's gender, she's going to speak out about it sometime or another:
| —Lady GaGa |
The REAL Gaga
Not even 5 layers of make-up can hide the ugly that is Gaga. She tries to distract her fans with these hideous checkered outfits and sparking boobage in hopes that fans will continue to fap to her manly and autotoned voice. Even such failed attempts to pick wedgies to distract from the bubbling purple shit on her shoulders.
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She desperately tries to find other ways for distraction, such as dressing up like Harry Potter. To her dismay, her attempts are futile so she quickly rushed to the darkest alley in hollywood and promptly got a nose job.
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Another little known fact about the real Lady Gaga was that she was the lead singer in an Otis cover band. Besides slight changes her modern incarnation is quite similar.
Trolling GaGafags
As you can imagine, fans of Lady GaGa defend their pop princess with all the teen angst we all have come to expect from electro hipster faggots. The majority of these skullfucked retards can be found at the Official Lady GaGa Forum.
Tips for trolling fans of Lady GaGa:
- Tell them shes a man, and post a picture of Line Trap as proof, insisting that it really is GaGa.
- Tell them that Lily Allen is much more talented, and has a less annoying voice.
- Tell them Katy Perry has a better fashion sense.
- Tell them that Colby O'Donis was the only reason "Just Dance" got big.
- Post a guide to creating every Lady GaGa song in under 20 mins on Fruity Loops. Here is Just Dance.
- Remind them that Freddy Mercury died of AIDS, and that GaGa is next.
Lady GaGa is also a useful tool for the seasoned internet debater, for example:
- Raid fashion forums, telling them that GaGa is the new Valentino.
- /mu/ loves Lady GaGa! Tell them all how much you love it too!
- Start a flame war on /b/ by offering compelling evidence that GaGa is a man.
- Play it from your car stereo and go out and randomly drive-by shooting gang affiliated niggers; dying to this music will be the worst insult one can beseech upon our colored friends.
The CaCa Fans Quotes
A good majority of GaGafags cannot speak, let alone type, any decent word of english. Seeing as the majority of these fans are crack fiends, niggers, sausage eating swedes, and 16 year old girls.
Here are just a few examples of your typical GaGafag:
| —-- Some gurl |
| —From the GaGa offical forum |
Notable Lady GaGa Fantards
Miss Mosh
DeviantART user Miss Mosh was clocked by the Lulz-Police doing 160 in a 50 faggotry zone. On Mon Apr 27, 2009, 12:02 AM, she took some time off from being up her own arse and promoting her piece-of-shit website and posted the following blog on her deviant art page:
BEFORE YOU COMMENT - This is NOT some beauty contest, I'm not looking for and I don't want someone telling me who is prettier or who is uglier. My point ENTIRELY, is that my style is being deliberately ripped off. READ my entry entirely before you comment. I look like Lady Gaga? I'm so fucking tired of this. "I know I wear a lot of latex, and have lavender hair..." Platinum blonde hair and long blunt cut bangs was whatever. A coincidence that I wore that same hair last year, I didn't invent the look obviously, I would be a fool to ever think I made that look. One of my first, as Lady Gaga calls it, "lavender hair" appearances was done well over a year ago. In fact, I had a recent cover come out on Bizarre with the same purple tones in my hair. Those images in the magazine and cover were also shot over a year ago. There have probably been people before me who have created the same platinum blonde/purple toned hair. None of which I have ever seen. None of which people who are three times older than me have ever seen. Latex? Since when do you wear latex? Oh right, probably since somebody told you its the new thing. Its also probably a coincidence that a week before I left on my trip to the east coast I received a casting call for a new Lady Gaga music video, this call DID NOT come from any of my agencies. I'm disgusted and outraged to know that my look is being blatantly ripped off by a mainstream pop "artist", and the true creator of putting it all together won't get a dime or a credit. I would have at least a respect for her if she was a true unique artist, sadly, she couldn't even do that. She needed to take something from someone who had much less exposure than her. You may be mainstream but you will never be an original. That, in my mind, is the most pathetic thing to be. Don't fall for it. Support the original. I know some of you who like my images seem to also like Lady Gaga. That's fine, but don't ever make the claim that "I look like Lady Gaga". At this point, its one of the biggest disrespects to me. If you disagree to my statements above, just ignore it or leave. Oh yea. Join my site when it launches...shortly, http://www.themoshroom.com
The photos she is refering to can be viewed to your right as thumbnails. They are in the order which they appear on the blog
Whilst her many 'fans' rushed to her aid to tell her that she was obviously being copied and was so much better looking than Gaga, people in touch with reality laughed many lulz at the absurdity of a whiny little bitch who thinks she's the next big thing. Even funnier still, all her fantards are saying that Gaga is ugly, yet she drew a similarity between them, does that mean she's ugly? The answer is pretty obvious.
Ok, so it may seem that she is rather critical of Lady GaGa, but fuck, this bitch seems to think that GaGa stole her look. Yeah, like she invented the whole "look like you've been raped upside down in leather tights" look. Its pretty obvious that this is an attention whore doing what she was made for, seeking attention.
Some argue that the fact that the EXIF data from her photos indicates that they were taken on the 27/04/2009 at 22:04:04, and the photos for The Fame were released in 2008 casts a shadow over the legitimacy of her claims.
In response its rather clear what you should do about this. Remember to mention that she looks EXACTLY like Lady GaGa!
A selection of Lulzy quotes from Miss Mosh:
| —You look exactly like her, now who is pathetic again? |
| —USI at its finest |
| —So much USI |
Gallery
 Bruno is raging hard over Caca. |
 Lady CaCa enjoys cocaine. |
 Wario Parasite Hilton, CaCa's #1 fan. |
 She isn't always hot. |
 Somebody watches too much Harry Potter. |
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 Lady GaGa performing her hit single "I Kill Everything I Fuck." |
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 The original Lady Caca; GG Allin, showing off her/his dance moves sHe honed as a Club Kid in New York's nightclub underground. |
 Lady GaGa dresses like an ugly prostitute.|Rakes |
 Can't hide ugly. |
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 Even black bikers enjoy some of that poker face |
See Also
Resources
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Lady GaGa is part of a series on Music |
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Lady GaGa is part of a series on Whores. |
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