Korea
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Contents |
Background
KOREA (standing for Kewl Organization Regarding Elitist Azns ) (MOAR LIEK WHOREA, AMIRITE??!?!) is separated into two different countries, but are in secret talks to reunite, much to the dismay of China, Japan, and US. This is because they fear that the unified Korea will rule the world. One look at both sides will show you what the other countries are afraid of. During the 1950s Korea was the site of some epic RL drama, when war broke out between the North and South due to a lack of good Starcraft servers. After repeated defeats, the South asked the Americans for help, in response the Americans and pretty much the entire world proceeded to invade and drive back the North. Eventually China freaked the fuck out and launched a surprise offensive on the UN armies, who agreed to a ceasefire after a while. The Korean War continued the proud American tradition of bombing the fuck out of other countries in order to save them, and introduced the world to the proud Chinese tradition of rounding up a bunch of illiterate peasants, giving them a couple of rocks, and forcing them into suicidal "human wave" attacks. The border of North and South Korea hasn't changed since, with both sides engaging in a stand-off.
Simplified
North Korea: The pimps with the nukes.
South Korea: The players with the tech.
According to Samuel Huntington the whole idea is for Good Korea to inherit Evil Korea's Nukes after they all starve, thus joining the Nuclear Club, guilt-free.
How to Troll a Korean
- Say anything good about Japan at all. Seriously, try it; it works. For more lulz, mistake them for Japs.
- Buy a Korean girl a fake designer purse (make sure it is a good fake, they have a sense that allows them to be able to sniff out all but the best fakes), have sex with her (should be no problem once she thinks you bought her something expensive with some French or Italian guy's name on it), then reveal to her that the purse is a fake that you bought it off some Nigerian guy at a flea market for $10 and watch as her head implodes with rage.
- Say "Takeshima belongs to Japan!" This is guaranteed to send any Korean into an epic rage. Beware, they sometimes carry knives.
- Explain to them how wonderful Kim Jong-il is, then ask their opinion on him.
Fun Facts
- All Koreans have hardons for Starcraft.
- All Koreans KNOW they are the best Asians, just like the Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Taiwanese- Oh FUCK it, all Asians are retarded supremacists. Except for the Filipinos, who make themselves everyone's bitch.
- All Koreans are extremely susceptible to unquestioning belief in urban myths and old wives tales; in modern times those backed by email chain letters or Korean news rather than any actual scientific evidence are particularly dangerous when released upon unsuspecting Koreans. A favorite is that eating dog will transform your vocal chords into those of an opera singer. Also, see fan death.
- Koreans are actually aliens from the planet of Korethra. Your base ours is now.
- King Dong Dil, leader of North Korea, is actually a robot.
Typical Response to an American
- Yankee Go Home!
- I'M KOREAN! SON OF A BITCH AMERICAN! AMERICAN IS PIG! DO YOU WANT CHEESEBURGER? DO YOU WANT PIZZA? AMERICAN IS PIG DISGUSTING! BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA IS MURDERER! FUCKING U.S.A!!!!1
Brutally True Facts About Koreans
- Half of the Koreans are mind-fucked and think their country is full of purity thanks to their grorious reader.
- Koreans are extremely hot-headed, any words that sounds like an insult towards them and they will punch you in the face with no remorse.
- Koreans are either people that are mentioned above, or SAT nerds with giant glasses and loads of SAT-prep books stacking in their room just so they can try and get into Harvard.
- Korean cuisine
- The Koreans are the only race on the planet that are both more xenophobic and materialistic than the Jews.
- Koreans think they are tough shit and are better than Americans, but the sad truth is if it wasn't America saving their sorry asses back in Korean War, the entire peninsula will be buttraped by the grorious reader. In addition, they are still coming to America for education.
- Koreans look down on any non-Koreans just because they are Koreans.
- Every individual Korean must stay within 30 feet of another Korean, for if one doesn't stay close enough to another for a day, he will slowly rot to the ground.
- The term "Gold Digger" is actually derived from the first Empress of Korea named Queen Ggul Diggah, who would only ovulate after her lover, the first Emperor of Korea, spent well over the equivalent of modern $100 million USD on designer hand bags, shoes, and plastic surgery for her. The pair went on to father the Korean people, with this trait still being seen today in all Korean women.
- On the rare occasion a Korean immigrant converses with someone of a different ethnicity, they'll go on and on about how great their home country is, despite having jumped at the chance to move to the nation they currently live in.
- You should be glad you're not a South Korean citizen, because all male citizens are required to serve 2 years in the military, which is basically worthless since they're gonna suck America's cock for help again once there is a war.
- Be cautious of any Koreans near you, for one of them might want to go for a high score and blow up a college near you.
- Any Blizzard game is just like oxygen for the koreans, for if they stop playing it, they will die; they're much more important than their babies.
- Koreans think their culture is unique, but it's basically a rip-off mix between Japan and China.
- Koreans are much uglier and their eyes are much slantier than their Asian neighbors, that's why plastic surgery is so popular in Korea.
- No one gives a shit about Koreans (except for Koreans themselves of course, and the few, pathetic Koreaboos).
- Unlike other Asians who move to the US and become Yuppies (China) and Hipsters (Japan), Koreans tend to turn into gun-toting rednecks.
- In South Korea, people only purchase products from Korean brands (e.g. Samsung, Hyundai etc.). Purchasing anything from foreign brands will result in buttrape because people will think you're not supporting Korea.
- All Koreans are stalkers.
- If you think any of the above is false and are attempting to delete them, then you must be or at least partially Korean, because frankly non-Koreans never liked Koreans and always assumed they are the rudest and most pathetic group of people ever lived on Earth; and only Koreans think of themselves as pure and sinless.
- Koreans often are confused whether people are complimenting or insulting them. As a result, they resort to faggotry and act like dumbasses.
With Those in Mind, Enjoy These Videos
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External Links
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