Kelseyalicia
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
KelseyAlicia (full name revealed to be Kelsey Alicia Shevlin; her "pseudonym" is quite creative, no?) is a tartlet with over 9000 wonderful pieces of artwork displayed on her page. She is also well-known for being an absolute Yu-Gi-Oh fantard, and faps fervently to Yugi and his bum-chum, Pharaoh.
Oh yeah. And she draws like a fucking 3-year old. Kelsey's age is known to be 20. Know this as you read on.
She gained small notoriety from previous raids, but moar recently from a someone calling for a raid, after her retardation was rediscovered. Some of /b/, in a frightening display of faggotry, have come to the conclusion that Kelsey has assburgers, and therefore is not raid-able. This. of course, is bullshit on many levels. Some of anonymous has already taken it upon themselves to raid her tartlet account. Note comments hidden by user.
[edit] Omg Funfacts
Kelsey owns 138 stuffed animals. Holy shit. No srsly gaiz no joke. Kelsey has many talents; including and very limited to being a good bowler, throwing and spinning balls on all of her fingers, giving great massages, and being very gifted with words which helps her writing and reading a lot too. Note, again, that she is 20 years old and this is all she can brag about.
Oh, but this is just the mere first layer of Kelsey Alicia Shevlin. In her tl;dr fanfiction profile, she begins to soapbox about her beliefs and philosophies. Sifting through the tl;dr, it's apparent that Kelsey moar than likely has assburgers, as she lives in la-la-land. In a short summary, she believes we are one race--the human race (lol see wut she did there)--but everyone is different so shut up and deal with it you meanies!1 Also, reality is what you make of it, which completely excuses her from thinking cartoons are real people, of course. People are imperfect, which makes it okay for her to be short-temper, impaintced, and be a bitch when she want to, BUT, when you're a cold heartless person, you are no longer human. olol contradictions, yes?
Just so you get it into your head... she thinks cartoon people are more real than... real people. More on this thoery laterz.
[edit] Gallery of Assburgers Syndrome
This bitch uploads to an almost daily basis, so she has a rough estimate of about 1000+ pieces of artwork displayed. All of which are lulzy, as well as eye-raping.
 When the self-portrait is prettier than the real thing. |
 Rubber band + wrist |
 What Yugi does to pay the rent... apparently. |
 "Peagues courts a virgan mare named Starberry to concive his son Fledge in a bibical fashion" |
 "I walk in and he pops out of the last stall and then we kiss. Oh was it a good kiss!" |
 Starfire and Robin, just in case you're not fluent in retarded scribbles. olol 34. |
 Because it's artwork. |
No srsly, there is moar than that even.
[edit] Reactions to the Fart
Some people say some of her deviations are inappropriate for deviantART, such as the pictures of her ex-boyfriend's mom, otherwise known as the beached whale. Also, for obvious reasons, many a tartlet has tried to helpfully critique her drawings, which she promptly doesn't answer--or apparently pay attention to, we're sure.
Others support her in all of her shit artistic endeavors, and thus Kelsey created the Yu-Gi-Oh Sisterhood. While this may have been an actual organized group at some point, right now all we can find on it is some more shit drawings and shit fanfictions connected to said retarded group. The group includes Kelsey herself (probably as the oldest member), an insane 13-year-old girl who may just be otakin with the Pharaoh (olol banhammered), another 20 year old loser who draws just slightly better than Kelsey, a kiss-ass, a lesbian beaner who's on a different level of crap than Kelsey, plus many more bitches I'm not willing to go out and look for. The group also accepts men, despite its gender-discriminating name, and I'm sure many boiz are members as well.
[edit] I'm bi-polar gaiz not retrared
Kelsey openly discusses the problems she's been through in her life; one problem being her, uh, BRAIN.
Kelsey was admitted into the hospital last Thursday, as seen in this journal entry by her (apparently bitch) sister Kali. Details of this incident are undisclosed, but Kelsey has mentioned having mental disorders before, in many a ranty journal, and sometimes it can just be deduced that she's not quite all there.
Anywayz she's been long home nao to enjoy her flames and maek yet moar artwork.
| — Kelsey from a tl;dr journal entry |
From her described emotional behavior in past journal entries, she could very well be correct about the bi-polar bear disorder, as she does seem to be a dramaqueen. However, assburgers is still an option.
| — Kelsey... over a fucking mp3 player |
Obviously the girl is emotionally disturbed.
| — Kelsey, complaining about what anyone would pretty much think about her |
Kelsey claims to have an abusive family that doesn't support her, which makes it all okay for her to pretend her online family is her real one, and that cartoon characters are real. No really. It's okay. Healthy, too. Of course, like most children, she refuses to believe any of her parents or family's fights might actually be on her own fault. I mean, after all, she's only an adult. She shouldn't have to take responsibility for herself, now should she?
And yes, Kelsey has apparently been admitted into psychiatric care before.
| — Noone should be shocked by this |
Something tells me she wasn't quite ready to be let out...
[edit] Neantrhols
For as seemingly reality-deprived as KelseyAlicia initially is, she at least knows when she's being mocked.
| —Kelsey, not helping her case |
But of course, like all good lolcows, Kelsey excuses meanies like anon as people who are just JEALOUS.
| —NO U! |
It's obvious Kelsey is the product of hugbox parenting, where if the child displays ineptitude or weakness, rather than it being beat out of them, the parents merely gave them asspats and told them they weren't retarded, but a special, unique little snowflake who is a gift to this world.
Which, of course, as we all know, is granola-hippie bullshit, and Kelsey should've had her cartoon-fixation beaten out of her long ago.
| —Kelsey, straight from the first chapter of her crappy fanfic--because that's where it belongs |
Anon: shuttin down ur internets.
Anyway. Kelsey also has a few moar things to say about anon. Shall we look?
 She wants you to know that she isn't retrared |
 Next she'll buy a dog. |
Now waiting for her to discover this page. It should be lulzy.
[edit] olol Did somebody order sum pizza?/
At least 100 years ago, anon quite easily discovered Kelsey's home address and phone number--probably because the tard fucking posted her full name, the state and city she lives in for all to see, thus making it a very simple task. They ordered her some pizzas--a truckload or two, legends tell.
She proceeded to eat them all, and possibly expects more free pizza, seeing as how she still reveals her name and state in several places. You may as well deliver them straight into Kelsey's mouth, gaiz.
[edit] She's Very Gifted with Words
In addition to being a gifted artist, she is also a very gifted writer. Actually, compared to her artwork, her writing is almost passable--the important word here being "almost." "Almost" means it could "almost" make the stupidest of 16-year-old girls and 13-year-old boys come with a violent spasm, while the rest of us are "almost" too distracted by her blatant grammatical mistakes to even take in the mind-bogglingly retarded descriptions, plot-points and characterization.
She makes it an important point to stuff as many OCs into her fics as possible, most of which she claims are either of her own design or are her "sisters'."
One of these OCs is Aziza. A beautiful magical Egyptian lady, who, like most Sues, has an unlimited amount of powers at her disposal, and is not easily defeated by meanies who try and make conflict. Pfft, who needs that anyway? Not this story. She's also apparently blind, but of course this doesn't stop her from doing shit normal people do, so this is merely another vanity point rather than something Kelsey would use to, god forbid, make her character appear more human.
Did we mention Aziza is some sort of furfag otherkin?
| —Sadly, not a badly delivered metaphor |
What's more, Aziza follows the true Sue tradition of appearing in the author's favorite omg bishi's childhood--in this case Yami Yugi. The Pharaoh falls in olol love with her as a kid, but then she, like the bitch she is, erases his memories, to go along with canon and all.
Oh, but it doesn't stop there. It's only the beginning. See, Kelsey uses a swift move to avoid M-preg as she became a fervent YamixYugi fangirl; psuedo-science! Yay! Ya see, if you explain something with enough scientific jargon, then your legions of tards are bound to swallow your words, just like your mom swallowed all of my cum last night. SHAZAM!
To clarify, Aziza became Yugi and Yami's sex slave, produced their children--which has a whole other fucked up explanation all together--and then just become a normal slave, taking care of their beautiful children while they have hwt yaoi buttsex.
This arrangement is, of course, perfectly fine with Aziza, as she is God, Jesus and all the Saints, so she will do anything to make her Pharaoh happy.
| — - Aziza... aka Kelsey |
I... don't why she quotes her own characters, either.
Other fanfics include those from such mature fandoms as Winx Club, W.I.T.C.H., Teen Titans, and many other fandoms filled to the tip with 12 year-olds.
[edit] I Reject your Reality and Substitute it with My Own
| — Kelsey showing some Sephirothslave tendencies, amirite? |
olol no Evan's not her BF anymoar I guess. (He DOES exist though, which is to her credit.) She just dun need him, I guess, what with these hwt dream guys tripping all over each other for some pussy!
It can get worse:
| —Kelsey |
... Does that really need any commentary? Stands on its own, it does.
That aside, I bring you all again to this subject:
| —Kelsey, not delusional |
Orly? We have of course seen such beliefs coming from a myriad of other fucktarded fangirls before her, but let me just remind you that Kelseyalicia is 20 years old. Now, you'd think as a 20 year old, she would at least be able to adequately back up this argument; of course, her assburgers probably gets in the way of that, and this is the result:
[edit] Kelsey: Popular with fictional boys
Notice that the whale doesn't appear to draw herself up to size. Who didn't see that one coming, though.
 "To feel his touch at my fingertips his breath on my lips the smell of his hair ooh." |
 Showing off her talent for massages. |
[edit] Quest for favoirts
No, that wasn't a typo.
| —Kelsey, a comple- oh fucking forget it |
Not only is she a gluttenous whore when it comes to food, shes also determined to own her "favoirt" episodes of all her "favoirt" tv shows. Unsuprisingly, Kelsey lacks the basic spelling abilities of a five year old. In fact, she spells favorite wrong a ridiculous amount of times in one paragraph, and consider that it's spelled correctly up and down her comments page.
[edit] Moar pix
 |
 Unique; just another word for "special." |
 It fucking runs in the family. |
|
 |
 More fecal excretions |
 Series of tubes. |
|
 Yami's reaction to her art. |
 Rofl no faggot. Made by somebody else. You think she could pull this out of her ass? |
 The sisterhood is just full of creative talent for making characters. |
 |
 BITCH SMACKED. |
 Trolling Kelseyalicia's DeviantTART. LULZ! |
[edit] The KelseyAlicia Method of Drawing
- Step one: Eat. A lot. Just cram it down your throat.
- Step two: You should now have diarrhea. The more violent, the better. Use laxative if step one isn't working for you.
- Step three: Get out your sketch pads!
- Step four: Just shit all over the paper. Let it all out.
- Step five: Trace over your shit stains with pencil. Color with crayon. Be sure to use many different colors to cover up the poop stains. You know, for clean up.
- Step six: Scan and upload on your deviantART page.
- Step seven: Copypasta Disney song lyrics onto the comment box and post.
[edit] See Also
[edit] Related Links
- DeviantART page -
Please to be trollingThe trolling is under way! Kill it with fire, kplzthx! - Fanfiction account - lulzy tl;dr
- Youtube account - unfunny
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Kelseyalicia is part of a series on Aspies. |
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