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John Seigenthaler Sr.

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John Seigenthaler Sr. recruited this person to carry out government conspiracies
John Seigenthaler Sr. recruited this person to carry out government conspiracies

John Seigenthaler Sr. was Robert Kennedy's administrative assistant in the early 1960s. He was also the mastermind behind the CIA's successful plot to assassinate JFK. However, he and his fellow conspirators failed to pin it on Cuba, thus falling short of their ultimate goal of destroying all human life through a worldwide nuclear holocaust during their meticulously-planned Third World War.

Somebody who knew that terrible secret put it on Wikipedia. As prompt as ever, the CIA notified Seigenthaler about four months later. His cronies tried changing the wiki (because Seigenthaler is too old to know how to get online), but their vandalism was reverted by the admins and they were permabanned.

A black helicopter (the silent kind) circled Jimbo Wales' house. Men in black got out and forced Jimbo to change the wiki at bazooka-point.

Siegenthaler then made a phone call to the Homeland Security thugs, who punched a button on a computer. Carnivore (which sees and records everyone's internet activity, including yours) eventually spat out the name of Brian Chase. Brian Chase was a completely innocent luser who corrected a single misspelling in the Wikipedia article. Nonetheless, a UFO arrived at Brian Chases's business, sucked him up and replaced him with an alien clone.

He owns his own waaaambulance company.

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